Do you ever wonder how it feels like to fall inlove with someone na may kaagaw ka? Like they are only loving you for convenience, and the other thing is yung kaagaw mo ay isang multo.
Hindi ko alam i've probably got used to this set up of being there for her whenever she need me, Bakit pa kase nauso yang pagkakaron ng feelings with your best friend na mahal na mahal pa yung first love nila. But i sure do have my limit at some point...
~~~
" Jade, Sige na samahan mo lang ako were friends after all right? Dyan lang naman sa Morato yun eh"
" Kis, I told you I can't. Not today need ko sunduin si Kuya Mavy sa airport his coming back home"
" Ihh sige na, Ill talk to Kuya Mavy na lang. Sige na Lablab please " that's it i've reach my fvcking limit
" Fvck it Kis, ano ba talaga tayo? Kung pinaglalaruan mo lang feelings ko tama na, I have accepted everything you've done to me so far sempre ikaw na yan eh. But fvcking hell tell me do I deserve to be treated this way? Paintindi mo naman sakin ano bang lugar ko dyan sa buhay mo, T*ng*na mahal mo ba ko bilang ako, o mahal mo lang ako dahil nakikita mo siya sa akin? "
I said as I look into her eyes, she can't or rather wont meet my gaze, putcha ano ba tong pinasok ko bakit ako nainlove sa dapat kaibigan lang
" Jade... " i signal her to stop ayaw ko palang marinig, ayoko palang malaman kung anong papel ko sa buhay niya ayokong marinig na kaibigan niya lang ako or ginagamit ay coping mechanism
" Jade please listen to me, To be honest hindi ko na din alam, everything was fvck up, My Dad wanted me to marry a man i don't even love. Me having a commitment issue because of my Dead Ex-Fianceé and you looking like her added so much on my plate I was suppose to use you lang to stop my Dad from marrying me off to Matthew, we were just pretending this is a no string attached set up you told me you'd help me no questions asked pero..."
" Kis, stop it. I know where i should stand. I'm sorry for putting so much on your plate"
" No, listen to me. I visited Seven's grave asking her for a sign of what I should do I am having confuse feelings as well Jade and Seven is the only person who i run to when i am in doubt and when i ask her for a sign the wind blew parang sinasabi niyang okay na, na pakawalan ko na siya. Na it is not my fault kung ano mangnangyari before. It felt like she was hugging me to let me know that I can now finally move forward with my life together with the people who will be there for me. "
...
" Aaminin ko it was not my intention to lead you on it never was, Nung una i was accepting the treatment that your giving kase p*ta feeling ko kasama ko pa din si Seven eh na nagkulay lang siya ng buhok coz the way you treated me was the way she always treated me so that's where the confusion starts to happen. Pero as time goes by i realize na iba ka at iba siya. And that I fall in love with your difference and not actually with the similarities. Jade I loved Seven 4 years ago pero ngayon i'm starting to love you "
I was too stun to speak her eyes was already starting to get watery and as human who have a lot of emphathy on my body i pull her for a hugged she then cry harder as she hug me back.
I didn't know Kismet can be this vilnerable I never wanted to see her be like this anymore, If i have to say in that friendzone then I don't care anymore
" Jade... please let us try this..."
That was the thing that me and Kismet talk about and we did try to make our relationship work on the outside you will think that we are one happy couple no doubt but i know Kismet more than anything, I was her bestfriend after all
~~~
" Kis... let's break up " I utter saying the words casually
" Jadey... what are you on na naman Lablab? "
" Ayoko ng mahirapan ka Kis, I know that your just putting an act... "
" Jade..."
" I'm happy with the months i get to spend as your girlfriend no doubt but I know na within you, Si Seven pa din, na siya pa din yung mahal mo."
" No... that was not true, Jade ikaw na yung mahal ko "
" I heard you last night, you were dreaming of her I heard how you affectionately say her name, You never once called me that way "
" Jade, Seven is already dead, kelan ba natin titigilan yung pag aaway dahil sa kanya? why can we just move on from the ghost of her "
" Can you? Kismet nagpapakatanga na ko sayo pero tama na to, pagod na ko. "
" Ja---jade "
I didn't let her say any orher words and hugged her one last time,
" Always remember na I loved you more than anything else Kismet, But we really have to do this for the better"
" I-- i'm sorry Jade, I did try to love you above all else and I think I was pressured by the fact that we are on the same circle of friends and that i believe it was my obligation to return all the love that you have given me.. I'm sorry for allowing ourselves to be hurt in this process... Sana maptawad mo ko Jade"
" I knew right from the start Kismet, But I am still thankful for all the blessing and the love that you have given and when the right time comes, I'll be here waiting for you. I want you to know that if you ever decide that you want me, I'm here. I've always been incredibly stubborn much to my own dismay. And it's not going to be any different this time. So I will wait for you. Maybe you will come back, probably you won't. But I'm not going to stop waiting for you. "
With the words that we both said I held on my luggage and gave her one last hugged and a kiss on the forehead. Not saying anything else dahil i know na if i do baka magbago ang isip ko...
Cause deep down inside, we both know
Just for once, what do you want?
Baby, tell me the truth
Do you only love me 'cause you have to?
Hi 👋🏻, My playlist is open once again 😂 suggest a song for the one shot 🤙🏻
Edited : Jade is B and Kismet is M 😅😅
