To the girl who can't love me,
You're not just my universe but my very existence, though im just a falling star who fell hard for you.
I never regret falling for you. I couldnt fall for anyone else because you were the best whom I'll never ever get. I've accepted my fate. My heart would take time to open again, for the keys you once had is now lost in eternity.
I enjoyed it whenever you needed me. I know the feeling of being left alone, and I don't want that for you. Its okay if you won't love me back. But you deserve to be loved so much.
I'm sorry, if I am still in love with you.
Someday I know I'd be happy with someone else but for now let me spend the love that I have with you. I'm not waiting for you to love me back, I'm just waiting for the next train to arrive.
I wanted the best for you.
Even if that doesn't include me in it.
I was re-reading this letter for atleast 10 times now, it was hers, i know her writing and i know it's my fault that she's shutting everyone who wants to help her.. Bea is the most caring, sweet, thoughful, loving, honest, person i ever met but apparently im not inlove with her basically im not into her since were both girls..
" Maddie, nakita mo na ba siya?? tagal na niyang di pumapasok eh" oh i forgot to mention magkaklase kame
" Hindi Jho, alam mo naman yung sitwasyon namin diba?" napabuntong hininga siya they all know our stories kasama kasi sila when Bea decide to ask me..
" Ay Oo nga pala he.he.he sige puntahan ko na lang siguro sa bahay nila "
Why do i feel na parang ako may mali na kasalanan ko kung bakit ganun siya ngayon?! i thought she would take my decision seriously pero parang pinalalabas niya na ako yung masama.. ugh enough with this start na pala ng klase ko..
Tong lecture ng prof na to medyo nakaboring History din kase eh, naalala ko tuloy kapag ganito Bea would sit right next to me at makikinog kame ng music or eat junkfoods pero since 2 weeks na siyang wala medyo nakakamiss din.. ugh Stop it Maddie baka bigyan niya ng ibang feeling pag sinabi mong miss mo siya..
oh here it is my subconcious mind is battling with me..
" Ms. Madayag would you like to continue what am i discussing please" i was caught off guard napansin siguro niya na di ako nakikinig nung wala konh nasagot pinalabas niya ko and even Jho luh bakit??
" Maddie i lied earlier about Bea, she's in the hospital right now well for a week now " my eyes widen anong ginagawa ni Bea sa ospital?!
" Last weekend papunta ko ng bahay niya well she's all alone there i was knocking her room pero walang sumasagot kaya naalarma ako and ask the maid for the keys, only to see Bea bathing with her own blood"
" Jho why did you tell me this, ano okay na ba siya?? what the hell is she think ba kase" Jho smile bitterly
" Mahal ka kase niya and she dont see her life without you, Maddie hindi ka namin pipilitin kung ayaw mo pero sana bisitahin mo siya this weekend please" hindi ako nakasagot dahil biglang umalis si Jho i was shock dahil kayang gawin ni Bea un..
Weekend came and i was walking back and forth dito sa loob ng kwarto ko arguing with my self kung dadalaw kay Bea o hindi, Jho being annoying na din coz she keep on texting me that she'll wait for me na i need to go kahit ngayon lang why do i have to deal with this?!
" Nak, Jhoanna' down stairs she said may pupuntahan daw kayo?" Si Mom alam din niyan na gusto ko ni Bea but she never push me
" Ma, Bea is in the hospital"
" Huh?? what happen to her Baby did you two had a fight again?" Oh not to mention ha hindi niya alam na nagconfess na si Bea
" Should i go to her Ma? dun po ako dadalhin ni Jho eh"
" Nak i dont need to tell you what to do your older enough to make decisions of your own just make sure that it will be for the better okay"
I sigheh dahil i got inside the car, Bea's car actually okay this is it.. for the sake of closure here i go...
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" Im sorry Bea but im not ready for this, Baka nadadala ka lang ng sweet gesture ko dahil bestfriends tayo pero im sorry im not into you" This is her exact words when i ask her to be my girl yup i was truly madly deeply falling for her but all she sees in me is just her bestfriend ironic isnt it? I love her she dont love me back hahaha so i did the most stupid thing in the world to commit suicide but God made plans that ill still live in the form of Jhoanna.. she found me last week at my bathroom covered with my own blood and now im stuck here in the hospital maybe its good since i was nowhere to be sight by Maddie.. i heard a knock on my door i was reading a magazine but i know who she is it's Jho probably
" Your late Jho, i already had my breakfast already but i save some for you coz i know you love hospital food"
" H...i Bea h...how are you?" i was taken aback when i heard that voice it was hers it was...
" Maddie, what are you doing here??"
" Jho told me you've commited suicide Bei, you should do such things to yourself its not the solution to your problem" I smile bitterly
" What can you advice about my problem ? Maddie all this time i was resisting this feeling.. "I care," I said in a trembling voice. "I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it seeming inconsequential compared to how I feel. Even if I am distant at times and seem as if I do not want to be with you, it is only because this scares me, too." she walks towards me and hugged me i burst out i cant help it i truly love her so much but the next words that came into her mouth will surely hunt me for as long as the day come
" But i promise one day, when Im braver I will tell you these things, and then I will look you in the eye to tell I love you and ask you to be only mine. But until that day, we're just friends. and that's all i can offer Bea i hope for you to heal as soon as possible till we meet again Bei "
And she left me, she left me with a hope that one day when everythings perfect we can have our own happy ending.
Maipush lang po hahahaha Hey readers hahahaha any request??? so this is not a title of a song so walang kanta hahaha peace ✌🏼️
