Who to trust

Chapter 17 Alone

3rd Person's POV

Mia continued to cry while driving, she almost ran into an accident twice, which she wished to kill her. She was mad, broken and lonely. She wanted to numb it all away, you wouldn't feel anything once your heart stopped beating right?

It's a miracle she even made it to her apartment alive.

She dejectedly walked to her bed, dropping her things on the floor and laying on her bed. She curled into a ball, and silently cried again.

She remembered her dad telling her she deserved the truth. He did tell her, but not all of it.

Her own parents lied to her convincing themselves that it was for the better, hiding the truth to keep her from the pain. But secrets come out eventually do they? And they didn't do it for her. They did it so they can conceal their own mistakes, they did it for themselves. 

They committed an unforgivable selfish act.

But what hurts her most is that she also blames herself. She was careless and impulsive, she acted without thinking. She recklessly drove that day, she didn't think about the life that's with her.

She wouldn't be able to face Alex without feeling ashamed of herself.

Alex...

Yes, she should really be ashamed to face him. All he's ever done was look after her, but she'd provoke him, make him feel terrible, and confuse the hell out of him with her actions. Alex even yielded to her father, giving her dad a chance to fix their family even if it means losing his. She didn't deserve Alex.

After an hour, she finally fell asleep. But even in her dreams, nightmares haunted her.

***

The next morning she woke up with puffy and bloodshot eyes. She walked to the bathroom and filled her tub with warm water.

She stripped the first layer of her clothes and stared at herself in the mirror.

She couldn't recognize herself with how pale and thin she is. She hasn't been taking care of herself even before yesterday.

She stepped inside the tub, the warm water kissing her skin. She closed her eyes heaving a sigh. She threw her head back.

She just wanted some peace of mind, but she can't help but think all of her sorrows. Feeling her eyes well up, she slides her whole body under. You won't be able to tell the tears apart from the water.

The whole day consisted of her staring into space, crying and just sleeping once her eyes got tired.

She never wanted to leave her room, but Monday came and she knew she had to face the world whether she liked it or not.

She soullessly got ready for her work. She checked her phone while she tried to finish the oats she made for breakfast despite the lack of appetite.

She had tons of missed calls and unread messages. She deleted the ones from her family, including Alessia's. She scrolled more into the messages that might be related to work, then she noticed a message from an unregistered number. 

Her grip tightened at the mug when she read the content. Not wanting to linger on the message, she washed the mug, grabbed her things went off to work.

She tried to go through the day like she usually does. Mia somehow got distracted, but from time to time she can't avoid tearing up when she remembers the pain inside.

Her week continued like this. Avoiding her family, trying to keep her work, basically just trying to survive on the outside, even though she's already dead on the inside.

On Friday night, she went to a cocktail bar on her own, sitting on one of the stools at the counter. She ordered drinks and stayed for three hours. When she knew she couldn't drink anymore she drowsily took out her phone, reading the message that has been on her mind the whole week.

You don't have to go through this alone. Come back to me, please...

She shoved her phone in her pocket, internally telling herself reasons why she can't come back to him. 

She paid for her drinks and left the place. Walking back to her car, she drove her way home. Absentmindedly, she went on a different turn.