I'm In Love With Me?

Prologue

There's a life out there for everyone because even the ones that think they don't deserve to be saved, needs to be saved even if it means saving them from themselves.

"I think I'm losing myself." I whisper into the silent night. It is cold out and I am barely covered from head to toe. A shorts and a tank top can't exactly do the job of keeping me warm. I forgot my coat on the rack home and I also had a crappy night because of a stupid girl named Layla. "How did I lose control on my life? Why can't I just be me throughout the day and not someone else." I am walking by myself in the park. A cool breeze brings goosebumps to my skin as loose strands of my hair blow into my eyes.

There is no one in the park but me. A soft glow from the street lamps illuminates the concrete pavements. I continue walking as I cringe at my ginger ale stained top. Layla is really beginning to piss me off. The nerve she has to throw her drink at me. At least she got scolded by half the student body.

I sigh before walking off towards the fountain in the middle of the park. I always love watching the water flow. It seems magical.

Tonight however, the water is turned off and serenity takes over. Only the sound of the leaves of trees rustling together or the soft hoot of an owl nestling way up in the trees can be heard. It is calming. I sit on the wall of the fountain, pulling my knees up to my chest. I close my eyes as I play with the water, absentmindedly.

"I think I lost control in tenth grade." I state out of nowhere. "Everyone looks up to me. Everyone loves Lenna Adams. She's pretty. She's kind. She's rich. She has the perfect family. We should be like her. Everyone has high expectations of me and so I try hard to do my best. To have fun and to be open. But I have lost myself along the way. I just wish I can find myself again."

The cab ride home is long, silent and completely uncomfortable. I had to watch the cab driver pick his nose at least ten times during the ride. He would drum his fingers on the steering wheel as he softly sang in Spanish. The moment the car pulls up at my house, I don't hesitate to jump right out of it. I pay the driver and take off, telling him to keep the change.

As I walk up my driveway, I prepare myself for the scolding I am about to get from my mother. Thank goodness dad is out on some kind of business trip. I open the front door and slide in quietly before I carefully close the door behind me. I peek into the living room before heading upstairs silently. Mom probably hit the sac early tonight. I can only hope. I near my bedroom door and a sigh of victory escapes my lips. I quickly turn my bedroom door knob and immediately panic when my door flies open to reveal my mother.

Well she is pissed.

"Please tell me that you had a lot of fun tonight because this might be the last time in a long time you'll be able to have that kind of pleasure." My mom chastise as I sighed, tiredly.

"Wow, mom. Nice to see you too." I answer sarcastically as I walk past her to go into my bedroom. "Nice PJ's by the way. Where did you buy it again?" I try switching the topic.

"Lenna-"

"Tonight was shit if you must know." I inform her then almost laugh out loud at her facial expression.

"Don't swear."

"I thought tonight would be lit, but it turned out to be shit, and now my mom is probably losing it, so now she's going to yell at me and throw me in this pit." I motion to the room and she gives me a look.

"You're so good." She coos. "You should probably write songs for Iggy." She says sarcastically. I heave on my bed, faces the ceiling and stretch my limbs. 

Her eyes narrow as a reprimanding look took over her features. "Shit?" 

"Give me a good reason why I shouldn't ground you right now." She states and I prop myself up on my elbows to give her a look.