it girl // milo manheim ✰

i feel nothing. i am nothing.

no pov

It had been weeks since Lanie and Milo last saw each other. Lauren helped Owen grab Milo's things and Lanie stayed under her covers. Milo has gotten eliminated from Dancing With the Stars because he had no passion or commitment to keep going. Lanie has not seen the sun for so long. She kept the blinds closed and hung up a curtain in front of her balcony door. She wouldn't eat. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't feel.

lanie's pov

"Lanie. You have to eat. You haven't eaten in days!" I heard Lauren say from underneath my covers.
"I ate a granola bar earlier. I drank a bottle of water. That's good enough." I muttered not willing to show her my tear stained face. Even though I cried. I felt nothing. I was nothing.
"Lanie. Milo wouldn't want you to feel or act like this." She told me.
"If he didn't want me to feel like this or feel like nothing at all, he wouldn't have kissed Holiday." I said beginning to cry again.
"Lanie. Please come out from underneath the covers." Lauren pleaded.
"I can't." I said not willing to get defeat.
"Can't? Or won't?" She asked me.
"What's the difference?" I asked her turning from her still underneath my comforter.
"Lanie Skylar Adalair. You need to talk to Milo and act like an adult. This is not doing you any good and it sure as hell isnt doing Milo any good." She told me brutally. I slapped the comforter in front of me and showed her my tears flowing out of my eyes.
"If this isn't good for me or him then why did he do it? Why did he hurt me?" I asked crying even more and more.
"Come here Lanie." Lauren said climbing into the bed and hugging me as I cried. "There are things in this world that don't make sense. It hurts and I know that. You've been through a lot but you should know that there are two sides to every story. You know what you think happened but have you actually thought of listening to what happened in Milo's perspective?" She asked me.
"No. But how could I? What if he's lying? I don't even know if I can trust him anymore!" I said getting angry again.
"It's okay Lanie. Things take time. I'm going to bring some food up for you and you need to eat. You've lost so much weight and it's becoming unhealthy and I don't want to see you sick again." She told me. I nodded as she left me in the room. I lifted up my sleeve to see the scars that were almost gone. I rubbed my thumb over the place that used to be my place to let out any pain I had. As if I was releasing the pain from its cage. I began to cry and thought of who I was and what I had become. "Why can't I find love that lasts? Why can't my relationships last?" I asked myself crying harder and harder by the second. I buried myself under the covers until Lauren came back with the food and I forced myself to eat it. I showed a fake smile to Lauren to make her feel happy but inside I felt nothing. Because I am nothing. I couldn't feel whole. I couldn't feel anything.

alan's pov

I walked out of my kitchen with the cups of tea and handed one to Lauren, who was sitting on the couch. "So they really haven't talked for weeks?" I asked her.
"Yeah. It's been almost a month and I asked my brother how Milo has been doing and he told me Milo hasn't left his room since he got eliminated." She told me stirring her tea.
"I just don't know what happened. I never thought Milo would hurt her like this. I really thought they were in love." I said shaking my head in confusion.
"Me too. In all the years that I've known Milo, he would never treat a girl like this. When Holiday cheated on him, he never wished her harm. He just wished she would've talked to him and told him how she really felt. He never treated her wrongly. It was always her. He just wanted the best of her even if it wasn't him." Lauren explained as she sipped her tea.
"Is there something we're missing?" I asked her as she shrugged in response. "I mean that night, I asked him who would do this. And he said that the only people who witnessed the kiss were him, Holiday, and Witney. And the story said that the source was someone close to both Milo and Lanie. The only person who knows both of them is Witney. But, Witney is such a sweet soul. She wouldn't do that to them." I explained still confused.
"Maybe Holiday leaked it anyways and just claimed that she knew the both of them for credibility." Lauren suggested.
"Yeah. But I don't know how we would find out you know?" I said as we both sat in silence finishing our tea.
"I have to go. I need to visit Owen. Maybe try to talk to Milo. I'm worried about them." She told me.
"I am too. Am I going to see you at rehearsals tonight?" I asked her.
"Probably. Unless something comes up I'll be there. You can count on it." She said getting up.
"Lauren. Come here." I said pulling her into a hug. We stayed like this for a pretty substantial amount of time. "I hope you're doing okay since you're directly in the middle of this." I told her sincerely.
"I'm okay. Trust me." She said smiling.
"Okay. I'm always here. Let me know if I can do anything." I said hugging her one last time before she left. When she shut the door I said to myself,
"She's the one. I can count on her. She will be the death of me."

milo's pov

"Milo. You need to get up." I heard Owen say through the door. I grabbed my pillow and shoved it in my face refusing to talk to him or anyone. "Milo. I'm coming in." I heard him open the door and I took my pillow and hid under my comforter. It was weird sleeping in my bed alone. I wasn't used to it. I was used to Lanie's warmth keeping me safe and sound. But without her, it felt empty. I felt like nothing.
"Owen, please go away." I asked politely.
"No Milo. You haven't been out this room since you got eliminated. And who knows if you have even left your bed." He said brutally.
"Owen. Please just go." I said fighting back the tears. I felt so bad about what happened. Not being able to tell Lanie what really happened.
"No Milo! You need to get up. You haven't eaten in days! You haven't been out of this room. I'm worried about you!" Owen said raising his voice.
"Owen. Please. I really don't want to talk." I asked again pleading for him to leave me alone as I was hiding under my covers.
"Milo! I am just trying to help. I understand you are hurting but so is Lanie! You're not doing her or yourself a favor by moping around. You need to try and apologize or explain what happened! I'm sure she'll understand!" He told me. I ripped the covers off of me and asked,
"How do you even know that? How could you know that?! She doesn't trust me anymore! Even if I go there and tell her, Frank probably won't even let me in! She won't want to talk to me." I said getting angrier and angrier by the second.
"Milo, you never know. What even happened? How did you end up in this position?" He asked me as the scene replayed in my head.
"I was walking into the lounge when I got pulled into a dark studio. When the lights turned on, Holiday was in front of me." I explained. "She began to talk about how she wanted fix things between us and I got angry and mad because of the things that she did to me. She hurt me Owen. She hurt me bad. I told her that I didn't want to see her anymore because all I wanted back then was for her to tell me how she felt about our relationship instead of cheating on me. And when she questioned my relationship with Lanie, she k-kissed me. I pushed her off but Witney just saw me kissing Holiday and she ran off and that's when I began to yell at Holiday. I got so mad and I threatened to get a restraining order." I told him.
"Okay. But how did the story get out?" He asked me. "And why didn't you tell Lanie sooner?"
"I didn't want to freak her out before her live performance. I wanted her to be happy and live her dream." I told him. "It has to be either Witney or Holiday who leaked the story because they're the only witnesses." I explained.
"But, the source said that it came from someone close to you and Lanie. Holiday doesn't know Lanie so it has to be Witney doesn't it?" He asked me confused.
"I don't know but I don't think Witney would do that. I know she was mad but I promised her that I would tell Lanie exactly what happened after the show. She was fine with it but the story got leaked during the show so I don't think Witney would have had the time to call E! News and tell her whole story with everyone with her." I told him.
"But, she drove off in a hurry remember? I mean that's what Lauren told me." He said. "Lauren told me that Witney drove off in a rush and that you told Lanie it was just because of nerves for the show that night."
"Oh my god. Owen. Do you think Witney leaked the story?" I asked him.
"I mean if they're telling the truth about the source being close to the both of you, it has to be Witney. I mean if the shoe fits, you gotta wear it." Owen said bluntly.
"But, I know Witney was mad. But she would never betray me! Would she?" I asked him doubting myself and my instincts.
"You never know. Maybe she felt really strongly about it and decided that, that was the last straw. I know she cares about Lanie a lot." He told me.
"I just don't understand why. Why would she do that to me if it was her." I asked him.
"You'll have to figure that one out for yourself." He told me as I sighed and looked down. "Listen Mi. Lauren is gonna be here soon. Can you please go downstairs and eat something and drink some water. You're worrying me. I've never seen you in this state before." He told me.
"I will. I just need time to process everything." I said to him as he left my room and shit my bedroom door.
"What the hell have I done?" I asked myself quietly.

A/N: okay! so this is a bit of a more boring chapter but there are going to be a couple other chapters that will be really exciting! Hope you're enjoying the story so far and don't forget to comment and vote! thank you sm! xoxo, lanie💞