it girl // milo manheim ✰

it opened up my eyes.

I woke up to a thump in my bed and someone sliding under my comforter. "Sammy, go back to your bed. Callum is gonna worry when he wakes up and you're not there" I said rubbing my eyes and turning the lamp on.
"Lanie, it's me. I couldn't sleep. Is it okay if I stay here? I can sleep on the floor if you're more comfortable with that. I-I just don't want to be alone at the moment." He blurted out.
"Oh shit, Milo yeah it's okay you can sleep in my bed I don't mind. Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?" I asked.
"Something like that." He said.
"Well, you're welcome to sleep here." I said with a smile. He shot me a look of thanks and I turned the other way and decided to journal as he began to fall asleep.

dear journal,
i'm falling hard. and i can't. i can't fall for him. we come from different worlds and i think we'd be better off as friends. we've only known each other for like three days at max.

I paused in my journal and turned to look at Milo. The boy was fast asleep.

i just don't know how to love. i don't know if i would be the right one. i don't know if i would be able to keep up with him and his lifestyle. i'm just a small town girl with big city dreams. i'm a small town girl who can't afford to have her life torn apart by the boy she loves the most. maybe, i was meant to be just another fangirl.

I closed my journal and went to turn off the light as milo shuffled and faced my side. I smiled gratefully to have this man sleeping next to me. I turned the light off and sank into my bed. Luckily for me, Milo was a deep sleeper. I looked at him and saw the peace and serenity as he slept. I swept my fingers through his hair playing with it as I saw the million thoughts racing past me. I saw the million thoughts that changed my perception on the world. I never thought that my celebrity crush would become more than that. I never knew that my celebrity crush would become the person that changed my mind in the terms of love. "thank you milo jacob manheim. thank you for letting me be apart of your world. i-i think i love you. it's been such little time but things just clicked and i don't know how but you have helped me love again. and i want to say thank you for that." I said with sincerity. I took my time thinking about my feelings for this boy and how such little time has passed and my feelings for him have developed. it made me sad because I wouldn't see him after this. I wouldn't have a friendship or even a person to make grilled cheese with. I would lose a piece of me. As he shuffled and turned to the other side of the bed, I let out a deep sigh. Not knowing what was going to happen, I grabbed my journal and looked at the lyrics I scribbled before I came here, not realizing they encapsulated the feelings I was having.

milo's pov

I shuffled and turned to a random side as I heard a deep sigh. I opened one eye and realized I was facing away from lanie. I heard her grab something from the bedside table and realized I needed to be quiet and act as if I was still sleeping.
"Milo, I know you can't hear me. You're asleep but if I don't get this out now, I never will." She said as I was focusing on regulating my breathing. "I wrote these lyrics a bit before I came down here. I didn't realize that I'd be experiencing these feelings. I didn't realize these lyrics would encapsulate the feelings I have for you. I know you probably don't feel the same way about me, some girl you met three days ago but I want to believe that we made a connection. I'm going to take my chances here and hopefully you won't wake up but milo, you make me feel happy. And not just any kind of happy, but you make me feel like I can breathe. You make me feel like I don't have to pretend to be this musical or academic genius. You make me feel loved. An emotion I never thought I'd feel after what happened to me." I tried to think about who she was talking about but I didn't know. I couldn't have known. "I'm gonna take a shot here and sing these lyrics. I love you milo jacob manheim and if it means I will fight my feelings for you to stay a friend, then fuck it. I'd rather have no feelings and have you as a friend than all the feelings in the world without you." She began to swipe her fingers through my hair as I could hear her sniffle. I didn't know where my feelings fell to be quite honest. There was something different about her but I didn't know what. Suddenly, she began to sing,

How could a heart like yours
Ever love a heart like mine?
How could I live before?
How could I have been so blind?

You opened up my eyes
You opened up my eyes

Sleep sound, sleep tight
Here in my mind
Here in my mind
Waitin'

Come close, my dear
You don't have to fear
You don't have to fear
Waitin'

I'll see you soon
I'll see you soon

"That's all I have so far but it felt good to let that out. Goodnight Milo. Sweet dreams." She finished as she began to fall asleep hugging her pillow as tight as she could. As soon as I felt like she was asleep, I turned around and saw the peace and smile on her face. I couldn't help but smile at her as I moved a piece of her hair away from her face. "Goodnight Lanie. Sweet dreams." I said softly.

lanie's pov

I woke up to see Milo turned to the other side. "Looks like nothing has changed." I sighed as I got up to change and make breakfast. As I walked down the stairs and made breakfast I put on my favorite movie 'The Sandlot'. As I finished up, I helped myself and sat down on the couch watching the movie. I heard footsteps coming down the corridor and turned to see who it was. And it was Milo. He didn't look too good. "the breakfast is over there" I said getting up and making my way to him. "Are you okay? Not to be rude but you don't look too good." I said.
"Uh yeah. I'm fine. Still a little shaken up by the movie." He said.
"Oh shit. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have played it. I was only thinking of myself. I didn't think about how it would affect you." I rambled as I served him his breakfast.
"Hey it's okay. Sleeping next to you made me feel a lot better." He told me.
"Well in that case, I'm glad you're feeling a tiny bit better." I said fixing his hair. "I promise I'll make it up to you."
"Thank you so much for last night Lanie. It was some of the most fun I had in a while."
"You're very welcome. Dang it, I wish I could hang out with you more before I leave. This all feels like a fairytale."
"Aren't you here for another like 4 days?" He said looking confused.
"I have to visit some family and do some college tours. I don't want to grow up." I said looking down.
"From what I've seen, you're completely fine on your own. And you can always talk to me."
"Thanks milo." I said smiling.
"Listen, I'm so sorry about this but my mom needs me and I'm gonna have to go in about 5 minutes. I'm really sorry I told her I was going to be hanging out with you." He apologized.
"Family first. I'll be okay." I reassured him.
"Well here's my number. Text me so I can save your contact so I can keep in touch. Maybe I'll visit you. I've never been to the east bay so it would be fun."
"Of course. Just let me know." He ran upstairs and finished packing. I sat there at the table waiting to walk him out.
"Make sure to text me. I want to keep in touch."
"Will do mom!" I said jokingly.
"Bye Lanie."
"Bye milo. Be safe."
"Will do mom" He said as he drove off. I walked into the house and shut the door. "What did I get myself into?" I muttered to myself.

A/N: alright things are starting to pick up and Lanie got a lot of things off her chest. But what she didn't know was that milo was listening. Thank you guys so much for all the reads! Please vote and comment! I want to hear your thoughts and what I can improve on! I will be linking the songs that im using in the media above! thanks again! stay rad and stay glad! xoxo, lanie🥰