Adopted By My Idols

Chapter 29

"Alex!" Sammi shouted. I got off of the floor and washed my face before walking out of the bathroom. She hugged me. "I'm so glad you talked. I was worried you wouldn't talk for a long time." I hugged her back with one arm. "I think I'm glad, too..." I lied. I was happy a few minutes before... but that changed quickly when I just felt depressed. Very depressed. Horribly depressed. "You did really good up there tonight," she said, kissing my head. "You're an amazing singer AND screamer." "Thanks," I whispered. "Can I go wait on the bus? I got a headache and it's really loud in here." "Sure. Want Julian to go, too?" "Yes please. I don't want to be alone," I said, looking down, embarrassed. "Don't worry, hun, we all understand," she said, letting me go and looking at me. "Come on, let's go get him." I nodded and we walked through the people, each of which gave me a smile and a few gave me hugs. I was beet red by the time we found him. Julian laughed when he saw me. "Wow. Why're you blushing?" "No reason," I muttered. "Everyone was smiling at her and most of them gave her a hug," Sammi said. I smiled a little and grabbed Julian's hand before running out of the building and to the bus. "Woah, what's the rush?" Julian asked.

I slamed the door on the bus and looked at him. "I can't take it Julian!" Julian's expression softened. "What are you talking about, Alex?" "I can't take it! I can't take it!" I shouted, holding my head and falling to my knees. His arms went around me immediately. "Alex, calm down. Please calm down. What can't you take?" "Everything!" I shouted, tears running down my face. "It's not fair! Why couldn't my parents just leave me the fuck alone!? They always have to ruin my life! I can't take it!" "Yes you can and you will," he said, wiping my tears away. "No I can't! I've been strong for too long. I can't take it anymore. What's stopping me from running the blade across my neck? Digging it into my wrists and letting me bleed out? What's stopping me from running in front of a moving car? Or tying a rope around my neck? What's gonna stop me from swallowing a bunch of pills and falling asleep? I'll never wake up, and that's what I want!" "No you don't," Alex whispered into my ear. "YES I DO!" I shouted, trying to push Julian away. "I'm only bad luck for you guys! I only cause trouble! You don't need me here!" Julian held onto me and made me look at him. "None of that is true. Not one word. Alex stop." "Let me go!" I shouted. I finally broke out of his arms and jumped up, running to the bathroom. I didn't make it. -_-

He grabbed me before I got there. "JULIAN, LET ME GO!" "No. You need to stay. Please, stay. You go, I go." "NO NO NO NO NO NO!" I screamed, covering my ears. He moved my hands to the side. "Alex, if you leave, I'll be right by your side doing the same tihng." "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" "Screaming isn't going to help, Alex," he said, staring me dead in the eyes. "I've been to BVB concerts. I've heard you and Andy both scream. It doesn't affect me. You are not leaving me." "Why shouldn't I!?" "Because you're going somewhere!" he shouted back, grabbing the sides of my face. "YOU can do what YOU want to do. YOU are love. YOU are cared about. WE love YOU! YOU are an amazing person." "No I'm not! I don't deserved to be loved and cared about! If I did, I wouldn't be fucking beat up like I am today!" "That doesn't mean you don't deserved to be loved," he said softly. "I'm not strong," I cried. "I can't deal with this. I can't." "Yes you can." "Shut up! Don't talk to me!" I shouted, covering my ears.Again, he removed them. "Alex. You. Are. Amazing. You are MY inspiration. Yes, you've had bad things happen. You were kidnapped for two weeks being raped and beat up. Even I wasn't as hurt as you. But you need to stay strong." "I CAN'T ANYMORE!" "Yes you can. I love you, Alex. You can do this." I stared at him. He just said he loved me. I hugged him and hid my face in his chest. "I don't know what to do." "We can stay here with BVB or leave them forever. Which would you prefer?" he asked. "Stop making me feel guilty," I mummbled. "I will do and say whatever to get you to stay here," he said, rubbing my back. "Stop." "No." "Yes." "No." "Yes." "No." "Yes!" "Alex, stop it. You're not going anywhere." "But I want to leave," I whispered. "I just don't want to leave you guys." "Then don't leave," he said. "But it would be better for all of us if I did. I'm just being selfish by staying.." "No you are not. You're being selfish by leaving. Please stay. We all love you and wouldn't be able to live without you. We were all driving ourselves crazy when you were missing. I stayed with Sammi all day. She was barely able to stop crying. Black Veil Brides themselves were running around everywhere looking for you. Most of the day they were out. No one ate much. No one slept much. No one ever stopped thinking about you." "Don't tell me this!" "I have to. We wouldn't be able to live without you, Alex." "You'd get over me in time! I'm not important whatsoever!" "Yes you are!" he shouted, holding me tighter. "You're not leaving me. You're not leaving them. You're not leaving us." "You can't stop me.." with that I stomped on his foot and ran into the bathroom. I started looking through all the cupboards and everything looking for a razor.