Spn and TW Oneshots Book 2(CLOSED)

I'm gonna tell you(Destiel)

*Warning Spoilers for Supernatural season 14*

Dean looked around the room at all the people bustling about the bunker getting ready to go after Michael. Sam was divvying out orders like a natural born leader. Dean was proud of his little brother. Here he was delegating the way Bobby used to. Their Bobby, not the new alternate universe Bobby.

Dean's eyes watched as Maggie and Joe packed angel blades into their bags, Rowena was lecturing Daniel and Evan on the seriousness of the protection hex bags she was giving them. Charlie was explaining the lore to three other hunters Dean couldn't remember. He was lucky he remembered any of their names.

Dean's gaze landed on Cas last. He was talking to Jack across the room. Cas was good with Jack. He took the role of looking after the Nephilim seriously. Kelly would have been proud. Dean thought.

Cas' eyes met Dean's then. Jack hurried deeper into the bunker as Cas made his way to the hunter.

"Are you alright, Dean?" Cas asked as he approached.

"Yeah, just...takin' it all in," Dean nodded dropping his eyes to the floor. Truth was he wasn't alright. He was so far from alright, and it was driving him insane. Michael was killing people as they spoke, and it was Dean's fault. That weighed on him.

So much weighed on him. So much so that he felt like a bomb, about to explode at any moment.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked over at the angel next to him.

Cas was wearing a sympathetic smile. He didn't say anything, and he didn't have to. Dean knew what that look meant. That was Cas saying he knew Dean wasn't alright, and he was there for him when he was ready to talk.

Dean's chest tightened like a vice grip was crushing him. One of the many things that weighed on him was his feelings for the angel. Dean had tried to get the courage to tell Cas before, but he just never could bring himself to.

"Cas," Dean's voice was quiet.

"Yes, Dean?" Cas frowned at the hunter. He'd removed his hand, but he was still next to Dean, just like he always had been, by his side.

"Look...if uh, if things go tits up..." Dean was staring at the concrete floor once again.

"This will work, Dean. It has to," Cas responded not letting Dean finish.

Dean turned away walking towards the kitchen.

"Dean?" Cas followed, his tone now concerned.

"What if this doesn't work? What if..." Dean trailed off not wanting to finish his sentence. "I just want to say thank you, Cas, for...for always being there," Dean gave a closed lipped smile.

Cas' expression softened, "I wasn't always there, though I wanted to be."

"I need you to know something else," Dean's brow creased in a way it only did when Dean was worried.

"What is it?"

"This uh... this isn't easy so..." Dean ran a hand over his face as he tried to get the courage to say what he wanted to say. "I uh, I want you to know that...shit," Dean swore turning away from Cas to lean on the counter. He couldn't get this out, but he had to, he had to tell Cas, cause he knew, he just knew something wasn't going to go right. Dean could feel it.

"Dean," Cas' hand was back on his shoulder.

Dean turned to meet the angel's blue eyes.

"I've never been good at talking about this kind of thing, but I've got too many regrets and I can't let this be one of them," Dean's face showed the anguish he felt from keeping so much bottled up.

"Let what?" Cas urged with a slight tilt of his head.

"You," Dean answered.

Cas' hand dropped from Dean's shoulder.

"Us," Dean spoke up again.

Fear flashed in Cas' eyes, something that Dean didn't see often.

"Dean...please don't," Cas' tone was serious and yet pleading.

"I know you're an angel and I'm-"

"Dean, please stop," Cas couldn't let Dean tell him what he wanted to tell him.

"Let me get this out, Cas, I can't keep it bottled up," Dean shook his head, his worried expression growing more pained. "Cas, I l-

"I made a deal," Cas blurted.

Dean's expression was now only confused, "What?"

"To save Jack, I-I made a deal," Cas swallowed nervously as he watched Dean's eyes darken with frustration.

"What kind of deal?" His tone was sharp.

"The empty...it wanted Jack, I offered to take his place if it'd let Jack go. The day I find happiness is when it'll take me," Cas bowed his head in shame knowing that Dean would be furious. He'd wanted to keep this from him, sure that he'd never have to tell Dean, but what Dean was about to say, he couldn't let him.

Dean bit down of his bottom lip harshly his eyes cutting away from Cas.

"If you tell me what you were about to tell me, it would make me happier than I've ever been. I'm not ready to leave you, Dean. Not again."

Dean's jaw clenched, "Why didn't you tell me?" His tone was less sharp but still bitter.

"I didn't think it would ever be an issue," Cas sighed.

"Wouldn't ever be an issue?" Dean snapped, "How could you think it wouldn't be an issue?"

"Happiness...didn't seem to be in the cards for me," Cas shrugged, "I never imagined my feelings for you would be reciprocated."

Dean's heart leapt at Cas' words. His mouth fell open slightly.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Cas dropped his chin to his chest, his eyes avoiding the hunter's.

"We'll find a way to fix this. And when we do, I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you every damn day," Dean's tone showed his determination. His jaw was tense but his eyes soft.

Cas looked up his sad eyes meetings Dean's. He gave a small hopeful smile, "I look forward to it."

*AN*

Still tryin' to get out of this funk. Don't mind me. =P