Liam

Chapter 20

•Mein Kopf•

Winter

Seeing him was too much for me, all these years of not having the slightest contact with him cut a deep hole in my heart, that could never be filled again. I couldn't bear it to see him. It hurt so badly that I wouldn't wish it anyone.

The moment his eyes reached mine, it was like time stood still, everything was silent, nobody talked when his lip twitched a little upwards into a warm smile. A smile that used to make me feel safe and protected, loved. But now all it made me feel was hurt, so much hurt.

I could feel my eyes become teary and soon I felt the warm, salty liquid drip down my cheeks. Noah saw it and made his way to me, before he could take another step, I yelled for him to halt.
"Stop! Stay where you are!"

His eyes softened and he stood still in his place not moving. "Weez—" he tried, but I wouldn't let him.

"Don't call me that! You have lost the right to call me by that the moment you decided to did what you did. Why are you here?"

Anger conquered my sadness and all I saw was red. Everything came back to me, all those memories. I screamed at him while my parents watched totally shocked, they knew we hadn't had the best brother-sister relationship, but I knew they were not aware of how serious it actually was.

"Winter ple-"

Again I cut him off, never ending tears streaming down my face, my voice loud until it faded into a mumble at the end.
"Please Winter what? Did you come here to strew salt into the wound? Why would you do that to me?"

"You didn't do anything! I'm sorry."

I looked at him and plainly queried. "You're sorry?"

"Yes, of course," he nodded preparing to walk to me again.

I laughed, a laugh that was superficial, it would have been surprising if anyone believed it was genuine. "Well ,fuck you, and your sorry!"
Seeing him was more than I could take, I ran out of the house and towards my car.

Maybe I was dramatic, but right now it did not matter. Maybe I was behaving like a little kid, but it was fair. The man inside that house I called home, traumatized me, humiliated me, and broke me, with every piece of malicious intent he could have mustered.

My parents and sibling called out but I ignored them, started the vehicle and drove away.

I sobbed and it was dangerous to drive so I quickly led the car to a nearby park that I liked going to. It was a bit eerie but I enjoyed the quiet aura there. There was a whirlwind of emotions but stupidness wasn't one them.

Parking the car on the side of the street, I got out, locked it and made my way to my favorite tree. A large, tall oak tree with beautiful green, healthy leaves hanging from above.

As soon as I sat down the silent weeping began. Why did he have to come?
I didn't want to forgive him, forgive him for making me suffer and feel helpless. He dropped his sister, his blood,  for a girl, he did it once and he would have done it again.

That thought made me cry even more, uncontrollable water spewing out of my eyes, my lips quivering and weird noises coming out of my throat.

"Hey," a deep voice greeted.

Startled, I turned to see Hayes.

Literally, what were the chances?

I got up to leave, he wasn't letting me go so easily as he held me by the sleeve of my hoodie, my hoodie, Hayes's hoodie. I tried to pry his hand from my arm but to no avail.

"Hey, stop fighting. I'm not gonna let you leave."

Hayes sat on the ground next to the place I sat on a minute ago. Because I had been standing he made me lose balance and land directly on his lap when he forcefully pulled the sleeve down.

"Hayes, let me go. I swear to God, I won't let you live to see tomo—" I threatened, not allowing him to see my tear drenched face.

"Calm down. Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine." I really was not.

"Ah ah ah." he started when his grip loosened a bit and I took my chance in trying to stand up. Mission failed.
"Now let me see your beautiful face."

I put the hood over my head as it would mostly cover my face even more in the dark, evening skylight.

Hayes didn't appreciate that. He pulled my right leg over his lap and grabbed my chin so we were face to face. I was blushing as I was straddling him and saw it as a more intimate position. I didn't know how I was able to kiss him and tease him before, it didn't feel like this.

He began talking to me making me stop thinking about dirty things
"I heard you crying. Who made you cry princesa?"

"No one Hayes." I responded.

Exclaiming an "I don't believe you." he pulled my face closer to his.

I was so overwhelmed with emotions, I snapped at him "Why do you care?!"

"I care about you, I just do."

I scoffed "You are just going to leave me. Probably go to Irelynn or someone and I really don't need anymore stress right now. I can't, Hayes, I cannot take anymore!"

Tears were coming down my face full force once more, but he wiped them away with his thumbs. I kept crying a little not bothering anymore. Hayes left his palms on my cheek and fingers in my hair as he pulled my face unexceptionally close to his. Our foreheads and noses were touching making me feel little electrifying sparks.

Starting whisper ranting, I let it out
"I don't want to start to like you when I know you're going to go." Little did I know it was already too late,
"If I'll like you then I don't want to lose you but in the end you're going to leave me because no one cares about me! And I came to terms with that but you're...but you're hurting me by starting to make me like you. Can you please stop? Please don't tell anyo-"

I was cut off from my little speech by soft lips pressing against mine. Hayes was kissing me! Again! Savoring the feeling of his lips against mine I kissed back but pulled away after a few seconds. It was a short and sweet kiss.

Smiling he mumbled, "I really like you, and I'm not going anywhere. Never."

A lone tear fell down my cheek "Promise?"

"Promise."

I had the urge to kiss his fluffy lips again so I did just that. He was astonished but immediately responded to the kiss.

A few words slipped out of my mouth while he kissed from my jawline to my ear where he nibbled on it. "That." He kissed my lips "Isn't." Again a kiss "Appropriate."

"Too late baby."

He kissed my lips once again the looked down at what I was wearing
"Is that my hoodie?"
Blushing, embarrassed, I nodded.
"Have it. It looks so good on you, way better than on me."

"Hayes I'd love to but I'm going to wash it and give it back to you I-" I wanted to argue but was interrupted by a kiss, silencing me. I smiled into the passionate kiss and melted into his arms letting myself go.

-----------
So i don't know if you guys noticed but the chapter titles are always songs lol