Finn Shelby was your first ever boyfriend. You had fallen head over heels for the young Shelby and everyone could see it.
You were a few years older than Finn but you had grown up with the other boys and John was your bestfriend. You could count on him for anything and everything. You trusted each other with your lives and John didn't really like you dating people he said "men only want one thing and once they get it they'll toss you to the side and you'll get hurt" you remembered laughing at Johns words and reminded him that he was a man, to which he said "which is exactly why I know what I'm talking about" you both laughed and John proceeded to tell you about the crush that his younger brother had developed for you.
Over the years you and Finn grew closer and you started to cancel plans that you and John had made for the week. You felt bad but you wanted to be around Finn as much as you could. John never said anything, he always gave you a cocky smirk and raised his eyebrows at you. He knew you better than anyone and didn't believe you when you always said "don't look at me like that John, me and Finn are just friends"
A few months after Finn had turned 18, you were 21 and couldn't lie to John about your feelings anymore. You couldn't even lie to yourself. Finn ended up asking you to be his girlfriend (with encouragement from John obviously) to which you happily said yes. John strolled over to you and Finn with a smirk on his face and his arms crossed "don't look at me like that John, we're just friends" he mimicked your words from a few years ago. You rolled your eyes and slapped his arm playfully. You couldn't believe how you could be so lucky. You had the perfect bestfriend and now the perfect boyfriend.
But, things started to go downhill a few years after the boys decided to mess with the mafia.
You and Finn had been together for a few years and everything was bliss. Or so you thought. You and Finn were sat in John and Esme's house when the warning arrived. Nobody had anything to do with Tommy since he almost got them all killed. You were pissed, your bestfriend had almost died because of something Tommy had told him to do.
The phone ringing interrupted the conversation and John got up to answer it but you waved him back down and stood up yourself. Finn reluctantly let go of your hand and John watched as his brothers eyes never left your figure walking away, a small hint of a smile in the corner of his lips.
"Hello?" The voice on the other end sighed in relief.
"Thank god it was you that answered and not Esme"
"Arthur?" You questioned, recognising the voice almost instantly
"Hi Y/N, this is important. Has John had any post?" he waited silently for your answer. You head whipped around the room frantically, your eyes landed upon an untouched pile of post on the floor by the front door.
"Yes he has but he hasn't opened any of it" he breathed a sigh of relief and you started to get a bit more worried. "Arthur,what is going on?" You questioned the Shelby.
John walked in soon after and stood near the wall with his arms crossed, You motioned for him to go and pick up the post quickly to which he hurried over. "Arthur?" You questioned again but he was silent.
"Shit I've got to go, Linda will hear me. Tell john to check his post and call me as soon as possible" the call ended and you put the phone back onto the receiver still as confused as ever.
You looked over at John who was holding a card in his hand. His face was white with Terror and his mouth slightly open. "John" you whispered. He slowly turned the card around so you could see it. A black hand.
Your hand shot up to your mouth in an attempt to stop any noise from coming out.
A few days later was Christmas Day and the day that your bestfriend was shot and killed. You and Finn did everything you could to help each other deal with the loss of John.
Most of the time Finn was now helping Tommy and Arthur so you would sit by the river and talk to John. It was your secret place to go when one of you was feeling sad.
"It's weird not having you around John-boy, I miss your laugh and jokes and I miss you teasing me and Finn. If it wasn't for him then I don't know what I'd do, I think I'd join you to be honest and I know if you were here you would tell me not to talk like that but you aren't here John." You wiped a few stray tears and looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath.
"Y/N? I need to talk to you" a voice behind you spoke. You stood up and turned to face the boy you fell in love with. A smile appeared on your lips, he stared at you with a straight face and didn't dare come any closer to you. Your smile faltered when you noticed his odd behaviour.
"We can't be together any more Y/N" he showed no emotion on his face. Your jaw dropped open and attempted to speak but a jumble of words came tumbling out instead. "What? Why? What did I do? Finn?" He sighed and turned his back towards you.
"I don't love you anymore, simple as that. I've got a job to do and your keeping me from it so goodbye Y/N" you let out a sob and you saw His muscles tense and his head drop. You ran towards him and started to punch his back, you tried to get him to turn and face you but he just shrugged you off.
"No Finn, you can't do this to me. I love you, I need you Finn. I've got no one left" he sighed and started to walk away. "That's not my problem anymore" and he never looked back.
Dropping to your knees you let out a sob and a scream filled with agony. It felt like your heart was being ripped out and stamped on all over again. You had felt this pain once before, when you watched John die.
In a couple of days you had lost your bestfriend and your boyfriend. Finn was your first boyfriend and you knew your relationship wasn't perfect but to you it was. You had never loved someone they way you had loved Finn and you knew if you did fall in love again then it would never be the same. But right now, you were hurting. ~~~~ Finn stopped in his tracks when he heard you scream, he had to stop himself from turning around and running back to you. He didn't mean anything he said, it pained him to watch your face drop when he said he didn't love you and to hear your sobs hurt him even more. He had to do it though. He knew if he was still with you then there was a good chance that Luca would kill you just like he did with his brother.
He wiped away his tears and carried on walking away from your sobs and screams, whispering to himself "I'm sorry Y/N, I love you, but I promise you'll find better than me"
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