The next day, after Rey was finished with her classes, she went grocery shopping. She got ramen (which was basically eighty percent of her diet as a college student) but also indulged in a couple of boxes of cheap chocolate. She needed something in order to swallow her grief.
She felt mostly guilty. But also very depressed. Everything was perfect before Kylo went and screwed it up. She had her boyfriend, her friends, her enemies… everything was the way it was supposed to be. Now? Now her lover was her enemy, she was the enemy of her loved one, and her friends were people she couldn't be herself around. And the worst of all? She didn't feel as bad as she should.
No, she didn't really regret sleeping with Kylo. Not as much as she told herself. And she didn't really miss Hux. She just tried to make herself feel sad. And she felt like she shouldn't keep that secret, even though the logical part of her told her she should take it to her grave.
She bought the cheap chocolate to eat it all and feel sad about it. Perhaps then she'd cry. Perhaps she'd realize what she had lost, which was everything. Perhaps getting fat and miserable was the key to keep herself sane.
But when she got to her dorm room, she realized, in a flash, there was another way to do that. Yell her guts out at thisman. This tall, grumpy man that was standing in the middle of her room.
Rose was sitting on her bed, and the moment Rey walked in, jumped to her feet. "He insisted on waiting for you here," she told her, doing her best to excuse the audacity of having Kylo freaking Ren in their dorm room. She looked a little scared, maybe threatened, and Rey thought Kylo probably was insistent by being mean. That made her even angrier.
"Will you please leave us alone?" she asked Rose with the calmest voice she could muster, but her eyes never left the unmoving man.
Rose nodded frantically and ran away. The door closed behind Rey, but they didn't move or say anything right away. So she just put her messenger bag on the small desk and her groceries on the floor.
"I thought getting rid of Hux meant getting rid of you too."
She didn't particularly like saying 'getting rid of Hux', but she just said it to get on his nerves.
"Oh no. You're not going to get rid of me that easily."
That sounded so much like a threat that the tiny hairs at the back of Rey's neck shoot up. Kylo watched her as she glared at him with all her energy. She looked like she hadn't slept for days. Good, he thought. She should be in the same miserable state she put his friend.
"What are you doing here? How did you even know where I live?"
The truth was that he had looked it up at the university system. Working with professor Snoke had perks like that. But when Rey offered an alternative -"Did Hux tell you?"- he just agreed, recognizing that was a lot less creepy.
"Did he send you here? You?"
Kylo crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. "No, I came here on my own."
She shot her eyebrows up in fake surprise. "Right, 'cause if he really knew the kind of person you are, he would never have sent you here."
He was doing his best not to get mad. But his best was just so, so bad. His legs moved forward as if on their own accord. It was good though, he thought because his inhuman height helped his glares down at her be that much scarier and imperative.
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Pothos and the Neikea
FanfictionPothos: god of sexual longing, yearning and desire. The Neikea: spirits of quarrels, feuds and grievances. Of all the people Rey could have drunk-fucked, it had to be Kylo freaking Ren. It had to be her boyfriend's best friend, whom she despised wit...