𝑩𝑻𝑺 𝑰𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 ✓

Play Something You Want To Play - Min Yoongi

And it hurts
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He sits quietly, stiffly, in front of the piano.
Its surfaces are clean, lighting shining upon it to his face which pales in comparison.

His undereyes are dark, hands bony and body thinning.
His distant pupils roam the piano, fingers itching to get themselves on the ivory keys.

Before he can touch then, a loving voice calls out to him.
"Yoongi! Play me a song please? I adore it."

He shuts his eyes tightly, lips turning downward in a painful frown, breath audibly hitching.
She's not here, she's not. It's not her anymore.

He wants to close the fall board, finding the presence unbearable already.
But it will happen, again and again, until he overcomes the mental obstacle.

He takes a deep breath, opening his eyes and letting his fingers hover over the keys.
He starts slow, lighting pressing a few keys to make a short tune.

An improvement, from the months of not playing.
The months of locking himself up in his house, eating little, sleeping through long and lonely nights.

His dainty touches stop, as the feminine voice speaks once again.
"Yoongi, you always seem to play happy songs for me. Play a different one, play something you want to play."

He remembers her bright smile vividly, her gentle tone, her shining eyes.
He remembers her weak frame, her new tears, her optimism running low.

And it hurts.

His fingers close to become fists, heavy against the piano keys as the deep, dull sound resonates throughout the room.
For a man who has become emotionless in the past few months, tears brim easily in this moment.

The voice inside his head, whose cheerfulness taunts him unconsciously, is the voice of his fiancé.
The wedding was so close, yet death had come to strike her abruptly, cruelly.

She was his love, alongside the piano.
He seemed to lose a hold on them both.

He tried to get back this one thing, yet it just wasn't working.
And now he feels pathetic, useless, worthless.

"Yoongi-ah, what song would you have played at the wedding?"

She asked in that white hospital room, he shushed her, saying that she would live to find out.
They both knew he was wrong.

In truth, he didn't have an answer yet.
She has- had many favourite songs, as well there being many song that the couple has indulged in during there time together.

He was never able to make that decision.

Suddenly, something surges in him.
The urge to spill out his bottled up emotions, like rage or hysterical sorrow.

And he remembers what he once told his beloved, that art is made from the artist's emotions and wanted image.
And Yoongi wants her back, wants to love but also wants to live his life again.

So he drags his thin fingers across the piano, tapping the keys in a song that seems vaguely familiar.
The tone, it's dreadful and sorrowful, nothing that he truly feels.

Yet it helps him, an outlet of pain, not his pain, but a pain.
It isn't too loud, more like quiet anger.

But it's fast and you wouldn't think that a pianist who hadn't touched an instrument in months would be able to move like that.
It requires all his concentration and doesn't at the same time, baffling to a viewer but right to him.

He's light when needed and heavy when wanted, the fortes evident.
Crescendos and diminuendos use up all his energy yet seem effortlessly played.

He doesn't understand how he's doing this himself, it should be impossible.
Yet his capabilities were those of a prodigy before the demise and it looks as though he's fighting for his life here.

And he smiles painfully, tears falling down, splashing against the white and black, hands moving frantically to keep the tune alive.
To keep the ounce of himself alive, as he reluctantly draws to an end.

A satisfying end, where he doesn't feel as though he has painfully stopped.
He finds that his hands aren't shaking, that his breath is ragged but he is not gasping for air.

His cheeks are wet, heart racing.
But he's done it, against so many odds.

It's prideful, brave and painful all at the same time.
Overwhelming, so he closes the fall board, hopefully able to play again when he collects his broken self once more.

These emotions, he will have to get used to them as he begins to survive.

As he stands up, let's his body stand straight, he can't help but wonder one last thing.

Will it reach her?

The End ♥️

Yes, I am a huge fan of Your Lie In April, an anime that made my younger self cry and it pains me to not have the time to rewatch it.
I really recommend it, if you like all your emotions flying out the window, beautiful music and a heart wrenching storyline 😉😂💘
Hope you enjoyed this Imagine and thank you for 90K reads! <333