Out Of Limits: A mad love story

Chapter Twenty-Three

I did my best to convince Jim of my innocence, in the midst of so much effort and argument I forgot to tell Jeremiah's plan!

The van that served to transport me to Arkham was cold and dark. I was scared, I didn't like being treated like a crazy killer! I wasn't like that! I'm not like that! I will only allow it! And I do not allow you to control me anymore!

They dragged me to the entrance and after making a token with all my data they sent me to a room where I was supposed to change my clothes into a blue uniform with white lists. It wasn't my style, but I couldn't start complaining, I couldn't give them any more reason to be there. After I was dressed they took me to my cell, and on the way I passed by the dining room where I realized that all the other girls had a uniform just like mine. Fashion had come to Arkham! I stopped in front of a different cell from the others, until there no one had spoken to me to explain what was happening.

"Why is my cell different from the others?"

  Nobody answered! When they opened the door I realized that not even a window had, it was completely isolated and the only artificial light coming in was the small window coming from the door.

I couldn't stay here! Dark and silent is synonymous with reflection and my reflections were based on you tormenting me! I started screaming, "Please don't leave me alone!" But they ignored it as usual! I was alone! My greatest fear has come true ...

 You're not alone Harleen! Don't forget what we said. 

"No! You aren't company, you are demons! You prevented me from leaving the city !!!!"

Were we demons when you killed your father? Or were we angels that set you free? 

"You killed my father, it's your fault, you destroyed my life"

We???!!! We're just voices in your head. 

"You're wrong .... Aren't you ?? !! OMG !!! I did it ... It was me .... I killed him ... I'm a monster .... You aren't real ... I killed my father ... No! No! No !!! "

I spent the night crying, I finally managed to cry. Too many tears to be tight for so long! I screamed, I cried, I screamed ... But I figured it was there to get better! Nothing could hurt me and you would not hurt anyone ... "you" are only fruit of my imagination, you don't exist ... You are my subconscious ... Now I realize that ... The only way to keep sane is be here And I'm not leaving this room !!!

My mother had mental problems and so do I! 

But I'll treat myself before it's too late. I will not have the life she had. I will not be treated like a sick psychopath for life! And much less will I get involved with my non-existent brother ...

I killed my father ... It was a mistake ... And now I am paying for it, because my father had warned me to stay sane, but I didn't hear him! I was consumed with revenged. I took away the chance of a little girl have her sister back, even if she did not want to, I could try to access the human part of Ecco and try to save her, but I did not even give her that opportunity.

Jim was right, I'm a disturbed person!

Jenna saw my weakness and decided to use it against me during these last weeks ...

I'm a little tired of serving as a pawn for other people and myself. When I get out of here I'm going to start a new, balanced life in National City, and all my past will stay here in Gotham! I'm going to work as a teacher at a research university, I'm going to marry someone who really loves me and build a healthy family! But to have that all I need to heal first and I'm sure the Arkham professionals will help me through this phase!

 Dreams so high they even make us laugh! 

"I'll be able to erase you, and then I'll be free!"

 You can never be free until you accept yourself! 

"Calm down! One ... two ... three..four ..."

Telling you high helps me keep busy, but the tears fall as the numbers go by and when a guard opens my cell and throws a tray with a bread and water I realize that it's morning and I I couldn't sleep. I remained in this position ... I was already in the number 36000 ... really, many hours had already passed ... my thighs were already aching to be in this position. I decided to get up and go towards the breakfast tray. The bread was hard, couldn't chew with the teeth was almost impossible! The water smelled horrible, but it felt like I was dehydrating and had no choice.

Good morning, how are we today? 

"No! No! GO AWAY"

I started counting again, couldn't stay a second without my conscience beginning to speak, the tears came back. I felt someone approaching my window in the morning, but I didn't even look away, because I didn't want anyone to see me in that state ... I would rather have you think and really that I really needed help than to make a fool of myself and say that it's okay with me when it's not really!

A few hours later someone came into my cell and started asking me questions, but the moment I got away from the count to keep focused, I was back in the same situation again, which meant I couldn't answer anything! And maybe even better because my situation was quite complicated and so I wasn't exaggerating because I had a hard time responding ... hardly even looked at the woman who was asking me ... my eyes they remained focused on the wall and my mouth just said numbers to keep me sane ... even if I seemed more foolish in doing this, I felt some how more controlled!

----------

This is the last chapter where Harleen will be sane of herself. It was a long journey, but our Harley Quinn is almost showing up to break Gotham once and for all!