Broken Mirrors [A DRACO MALFOY FANFIC]

II. THE DREAD

-Thursday, 1987-

The girl stared at the flower in awe. It had blossomed in her hand, tickling her fingers. "Mummy, look!" She cried, holding her hands out in excitement.

The woman looked over at her daughter, seeing the flower. "Oh, it's beautiful Haz!" She praised, hugging her tightly. She leaned into her mother's touch, inhaling her familiar scent. She smelled of roses and berries.

"Lav! Lav look! Look what I did!" The girl shouted to her sister, who was crouching over the grass. At her call, the girl turned, her braids falling onto her back.

The little girl ran towards her, cradling the flower gently. "Look at what I did, Hazel!" Lav replied, pointing.

The grass had grown significantly in the place her sister was pointing. "Look at my little plant princesses!" Their father chuckled, seeing what their magic had done. They squealed and danced around their parents.

May 2nd

The day my best friend died.

The day my heart crumbled to the ground, nothing but dust.

I remember seeing his body, surrounded by his family.

Their red hair, striking against the darkness around them.

He had so much to live for too.

He had me.

Or, he'd had me.

Before he was taken away too.

The car was full of tension and Hazel didn't help by popping her gum loudly. Her mother flinched every time the crack hit the air and she was glad. She deserves it. Her father was immobile, staring straight ahead as his large hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Her trunk was in the back but her cat was in her lap, purring loudly. He was a regular Siamese cat, thick fur and dark splotches on his paws and face. She called him Winter because that was when she'd found him in the box, a thin paper attached. Free kittens.

The pit in her stomach kept growing and growing until she felt her whole body could get sucked into it. She wondered how everyone else would be. It had only been four months since the war; too soon. Too soon, she felt. They arrived at the station, too soon. They were walking ahead of her, leading her to the platform, too soon. She kept up with them, pushing the trolley that contained her trunk. She'd used an extension charm to fit everything she owned inside. She'd cleaned out her room, emptied her closet. Till there was no hint that she'd lived there.

Without a glance over her shoulder, she ran straight through the barrier. Her parents followed her, glancing around. The place was crowded and she saw more students than she'd seen last year. Probably forced back, just like her. She searched the crowds, looking for her one friend. But she couldn't see her and she realized she must've been on the train already.

Then they came.

The stares.

She felt gazes glued on her and she sought them out wildly, wanting to know who knew.

Who knew that she was here and she wasn't.

The Patil twins were standing by their parents and she saw the stricken face of Parvati. The pain on her face was raw and she instinctively looked away. I'm not her.

"Hazel?" She heard her mother's soft voice and she risked a glance in her parent's direction. They were stiff, clutching hands to anchor themselves in place. They were so distant from her, so close yet so far away. It hurt. "It's time for you to go."

No goodbye. No I'll miss you. Nothing. She gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes. "You think?" She answered sarcastically and saw her father's jaw tighten but he said nothing.

Say something to me! "I'm not coming home." She added coldly and grabbed her trunk, boarding onto the train without a glance back. They deserved it. They deserved her anger, her hatred. Because she wasn't her and that was all they wanted. They wanted Lavender, not Hazel. They wanted the bubbly one, not the sarcastic one. And they reminded her everything single fucking day.

~V~

The train was full and loud with excited kids. She felt sick to her stomach. How could there be happiness? As she passed compartments, she could see the empty spots students had once occupied. Saw the empty spaces besides their friends. It was a punch straight in her gut. Her head was pounding and she forced herself to walk, seeking her one friend. She passed the compartment her sister used to sit in and instinctively slowed down to peer in.

Parvati and Padma were inside, talking to each other. Parvati's eyes darted over before Hazel could duck away and they filled with hope. Right before they flickered out, swamping the room in cold. Hazel jerked back, trembling. Some part of her, some childish part, had hoped to look inside and see Lavender laughing with them. Stupid stupid stupid.

She continued her trek onwards, glancing into compartments. She saw Harry, Hermione and Ron. Ron. His red hair looked to close to his. Her heart hammered and she closed her eyes, forcing to breathing to come out even. Everything here was a reminder that they weren't. Hermione's eyes lifted and met hers and shock glimmered in them before recognition clicked in them. But Hazel was already gone, still searching.

Finally, she found Luna and Neville. They were near the middle, chatting. She slid the door open and stepped in. "Hey Luna." She greeted, smiling. It'd been forever since she'd smiled.

Her friend looked up, her gaze gentle. "Hey Zelly." She replied, scooching over. She lifted her trunk, setting it above. Winter was already settling on the seat, purring loudly as Luna stroked him. "How're you?"

Unlike her parents or the therapist, Luna wasn't asking how are you coping? Are you mentally stable? She was simply asking how she was and it warmed her heart to know Luna wasn't like the others. She'd never been. "Tired, dreading coming back. But mostly relieved." She answered honestly, sitting down next to her.

"My gran was grateful for the order. Says I was driving her nuts by hanging around as much as I did." Neville spoke up and Hazel smiled at him.

This was nice. This normalcy. They weren't asking about her and it just felt like the war never happened. And just like that, she was drenched in cold water. Of course the war happened. How could she pretend it hadn't happened? Her smile was wiped off her face and she looked down, biting her lip. Her friends noticed her mood drop but they said nothing and she was thankful. Because she didn't want to talk. She wasn't ready. It was too soon.