Dear Namjoon || k.nj√

rain

Cold drops of rain pelted down against the rooftop of the Kim household. The sky was such a dark gray color it could almost be mistaken for black, despite the fact that it was still only afternoon. The clouds were dark and copious, leaving not an inch of the sky untouched by their stormy arms. The dreary day reflected Hee-yong's own mood as she sit in her windowsill seat, watching the streets below. Her brother Jin, had gone to a friend's house for the night which meant she would be in the house all alone. On days like this, Hee-yong would usually call Jimin over and ask him to stay with her but she was bitterly reminded that she couldn't.
"Stupid Jimin," she muttered to herself. Her eyes were so puffy and swollen from crying that she could barely even open them up, a very unattractive feature she was sure. No matter how sad she was though, she couldn't cry anymore. It was as if her tear ducts had finally dried up of all the salty liquid. She wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Hee-yong sighed and played with her hair absentmindedly.
"Am I not good enough?" She wondered. She had never been self conscious before, she was a girl that was naturally beautiful and she was aware of that, without being overly arrogant. Upon finding out about Jimin's cheating, though, she began to wonder what it was about her that Jimin didn't like. Hee-yong thought about Sidney, with her short, platinum blonde locks and baby blue eyes. It was no wonder that Jimin had been attracted to Sidney, but Hee-yong had never thought Jimin would cheat on her. Jimin had never been the kind of person to do that, but Hee-yong guessed things were changing. She felt that the end of their relationship was nearing and the thought of it made her chest feel like it was being cleaved in two. Suddenly, Hee-yong's phone let out a shrill ring, announcing that she had an incoming call. Hee-yong scrambled to pick her phone up from the floor next to where she was sat at. The number that flashed across the screen wasn't one that Hee-yong know, though so she had decided to ignore it but the same number called again. Hee-yong sighed and clicked accept before pressing the phone to her ear. There was a sound of heavy breathing on the other end of the line, mixed with a creaking noise that made Hee-yong's ears ring.
"Fuck, Jimin!" A female voice moaned loudly and directly into the phone receiver. Hee-yong immediately recognized the voice. It was Sidney. And the guttural, manly groan that sounded from somewhere in the background of the call was none other than Hee-yong's long time boyfriend Jimin. Hee-yong quickly hung up the phone and tossed it onto her bed. She wanted to feel sad or angry or something but instead she only felt numb.

Namjoon casually ate his yogurt as he sat in front of his television. Taehyung had left to go to the bathroom and was taking quite a bit longer than Namjoon had expected, so he picked up his phone and sent his girlfriend a quick text message.
Namjoon: I miss you, baby.

Areum: I miss you more. As soon as my work shift is over I'm coming straight to your place :*

Namjoon smiled as he read the text. Areum always texted him back quickly no matter what she was doing which was one thing that he had liked about her. He didn't bother texting back since he knew Areum was busy with work, and instead just locked his phone and refocused his attention on the TV show in front of him. When Taehyung finally re-entered the room, his expression was grim and his phone was clutched in his hand.
"Joon," Taehyung's deep voice softly called out. Namjoon turned back toward his friend and frowned as he saw the solemn look on Taehyung's face.
"Hey, what's wrong man?" Namjoon asked worriedly. Taehyung handed his friend his phone and let him see for himself. It was opened on a social media page where a single picture was posted anonymously.
"Looks like Areum and Kai are getting on well!" The caption said. The picture depicted Areum sitting on Kai's lap, laughing brightly with him. Her hands were on his face and his were on her hips as he held her in his lap so that she wouldn't fall. Namjoon's heart fell to his feet as he processed the contents of the post. His girlfriend, who was supposed to be at work, was sitting in her ex boyfriend's lap as if she had not a care in the world. Namjoon felt the sudden urge to cry but he wouldn't allow himself to do it in front of Taehyung. Namjoon simply used his phone to take Picture of Taehyung's phone screen and sent the picture to Areum.
Namjoon: I can't believe you. After all this time, you do this.

Areum: omg it's not what it looks like

Namjoon: isn't that what everyone says

Areum: you're always so suspicious of me! Ugh whatever I think we need a break

Namjoon: what

Areum: we're over for now, Namjoon.

Namjoon felt his world collapse on top of him right then and there. Finally, he could no longer hide his tears from Taehyung.

Hee-yong sighed as she twiddled the pencil between her fingers. She had been mulling over what to write for the last ten minutes but still, words escaped her. She felt that this letter was necessary but she just couldn't put formulate the proper words. Hoping for inspiration, Hee-yong grabbed her phone and clicked into her music app. She pressed the shuffle button and set it down. A soft music resonated through the quiet bedroom where Hee-yong sat, and instantly, she felt lighter. The words of the song touched her heart.

"Is it true Is it true
You You
You’re so beautiful, that I’m scared
Untrue Untrue
You You You

Will you stay by my side
Will you promise me
If I let go of your hand, you’ll fly away and break
I’m scared scared scared of that."

The song provided just the right inspiration for Hee-yong and she quickly put her pencil to the notebook that laid lazily on her lap.

Dear Namjoon,
I told you that I love you. I didn't realize the gravity of those three little words until you refused to say it back. I don't want to force my love on you, and I don't want you to feel pressured to say it back but I'm scared. I really do care about you. You make me feel so alive and happy. After my relationship with Jimin, I really didn't think anyone would ever bring me out of the dry spell he had put me under but you did. You put butterflies in my stomach and make it hard for me to think straight. When I'm with you, it's like my brain doesn't function, all my thoughts are just of you. You make me laugh so hard that I can't breathe, and happy tears are filling my eyes. Your smile leaves me breathless. It's all of these reasons though that I'm so scared, because the possibility of losing you is so high. Mainly because I don't know how you really feel, you don't ever tell me about your feelings, but they say actions speak louder than words and your actions do show me a lot. I'm conflicted, Namjoon but this is for sure- I love you. And I don't ever want to lose you. I hope that one day I'll win over your full affection, physically and verbally.
Love always, Kim Hee-yong