Safe Yet Sorry//Brendon Urie

Chapter 10

As I was waiting for Brendon to wake from his nap, I fell asleep as well. Laying with him made me feel so warm and safe. As I slept I dreamed about some weird shit, but when do I not. I was woken up by hearing camera flashes and muffled voices.

"Jesus, can't we sleep in peace, you guys?" as I opened my eyes I noticed it wasn't my friends, it was Brendon's.

"Oh shit, sorry. I'm Dallon by the way." he stuck his hand out and I used my free hand to shake his hand. "You look familiar, I feel like we have met before." he sat next to me and the sleeping Brendon. I knew Dallon but I didn't want Brendon to know how.

"You knew Josh, he was my brother," I say looking down at Brendon. Then I felt a pair of arms engulf me into a hug.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Kiana." Dallon had tears in his eyes, he and my brother were always so close and once he died Dallon had stopped coming by. They all did, even Brendon. He was closest to Josh.

"How does Bren not remember me? He was the one who found me in the bathroom that night when we all found out. He was the one who took me to the hospital and took me to school." I was looking down at Brendon who was still sleeping.

"He was battling substance abuse, love." Dallon was looking down at him as well, "He couldn't even remember what he had done five minutes ago. He was doing a lot of coke and was drinking every night until he drank himself to sleep." You could tell that Dallon cared a lot about Brendon. so did you, meaning you would never let him go back to doing what he was doing to himself. I wondered what he would do if he found out about how he had saved me and such.

Dallon and I spoke all day until Brendon woke up, "Dallon? When did you get here?" Brendon sat up and stretched.

"Only a little while ago, Kiana has been keeping me company." Dallon smiled at you, as he watched Brendon kiss you

"I'm glad you finally woke up, Bren." I got up and walked upstairs to my brother's old bedroom. I don't think anyone would come in there so I stayed in there sitting on his old bed for a while. I sat smelling one of his old hoodies, I didn't notice until I pulled the hoodie away that I was crying. I missed him so much.

*Flashback*

I was coming back to my Math class from lunch when my guidance counselor stopped me midway and asked me to come with them to their office. I did what they had asked me to do because I was curious about why they needed me. As I walked in I sat down and they shut the door behind us.

"Ms.Barksman we need to talk, I didn't want to call you out of class but there's been an accident. Your mother and father called me before I brought you in here. Your brother has passed away...he overdosed and no one was around to help or call someone" His tone was sad and gloomy which made it even worse. I could hear he was still speaking but I didn't know what he was saying anymore. I started having a mental breakdown. Who was gonna take care of me when mom and dad just get up and leave again? Who was gonna tell me I was gonna be okay? Who was gonna help me calm down when my anxiety kicked in and I couldn't breathe correctly? No one will. Because everyone is too busy to actually see I'm here. All I heard from my guidance counselors mouth was "Your mother said you can walk home, they will be there shortly to take you to the hospital to say your last words to him.." then I got up and walked out of the school, I walked home.

When I looked around after opening my front door, my house felt so dead and empty. The energy was so bad and I hated it so much. I walked around a bit until I went into the bathroom, I knew what was going to make me feel better, being with him. I grabbed my dads razors and started to slit my wrists all over. The blood was spilling so fast, I shed a couple of tears. I was sitting on the floor leaning up against the bathtub when I heard a voice speak outside the door, "Dallon you find her and I'll use the bathroom. We need to take her to see Josh." my eyesight was getting blurry but I saw a figure open the door and yell. "Jesus Christ, Dallon get in the car now!" the voice was the voice of my brother's friend Brendon. I felt my body going numb and then I felt his hands putting towels around my arms and then I felt someone pick me up. That was when everything went black.

*End of flashback*

I couldn't be in that room without it all just hitting me, he truly gone and so was I... what if I have always been gone.