Haikyuu x Reader

Lost in Feelings

Wrote these a few months back but never posted it, hopefully y'all enjoy. ps there is v limited editing
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Sugawara Koushi

Time seems to stand still when you don't know how you're feeling. The minutes of uncertainty run on for hours, and yet, when you look at the clock, only fifteen minutes have gone by.

There are brief moments when you're with your friends that you forget. Forget that each night you stare at the ceiling, trying to piece together when and how things ended up like this. Forget that sometimes you loose yourself in class because you can't even have a single thought in your head.

It's like your brain is trying to process all these things at once, but because there is so much going on, you can't put it into words.

That empty feeling left in your chest, and your head; the numbness you feel when you're alone.

Sometimes you ponder bringing these thoughts up when you're with them, but you're too scared. Scared they're going to think you're only thinking of yourself and not the friendship.

Then there are those times late at night, when you share these fears with your closest friend in the planet and all he does is listen. He listens to you go on and on about how you're reading and have to restart the page for the ninth time because you were just looking at the words and your mind was silent. He listens as your voice gets watery and you sniffle because you don't know why this is happening.

He listens to you say you sometimes feel like your friends aren't really your friends; they're merely acting a part.

When you're all finally out of words, when you've finally released what you've bottled up for weeks, he reminds you what you mean to him.

Azumane Asahi

He automatically picks up on your bad mood. Because of how empathetic he is, you start rubbing off on him. However, he doesn't go down without a fight.

He leaves small surprises around your apartment like flowers or your favorite candy; one time he even made your favorite dessert. He takes you on dates to your favorite places, the dog (and/or cat) cafe or that one book shop down the road that you love and he claims is 'just full of smelly old books.'

Sometimes this makes you feel better, others worse. His care for you reminds you of just how pathetic you've deemed yourself to be. How is it possible that someone so kind-hearted, so, so giving, someone that deserves to be given the world ended up with someone such as yourself? Whenever you try to remind him of these factors he shushes you then reminds you love works in mysterious ways.

Eventually, if you're funk lasts long enough, he gets sucked in too.

You notice it right away. Each time it remind you of how vicious the cycle is and how painful it must be for him to watch you go through this; if it's anything like watching him in anguish, you respect him all the more for it.

Most times your psychiatrist is able to help you work out your anxiety. The fears of you not being good enough for anyone around you. That you haven't done anything notable to be deemed worthy of anyone's attention. When it doesn't work, you think of him and all the little things he does just for you.

That alone is enough for you to reach out to him and open up some more. He treats your with honesty and respect, it's the least you can give back the same treatment to him.

But now that he has established his plan of never leaving you, and you identified you're believing in yourself more (and that you finally decided to take the steps fo help your mental health), each emotional episode is shorter than the last.

Now that you have the proper support channel, you finally think things may turn out all right.

Hinata Shoyo

It takes him weeks to notice when you're building up walls again. So if he does notice (usually someone else has to tell him), there is a shift in the kind of memes that he sends to you.

They shift from:           

To this:
 

This content lasts from anywhere to three to six days. He even make new ones just for 'your eyes only xoxo winky face ;).'

And when you do open them it's always an animal with some pun about love (you're certain he's been receiving help while making them).

As much as he likes sending you memes to make sure you know how he feels, he always reaches out to make sure you don't want to talk. If you decline his offer, he accepts your answer and reminds you that whenever you're ready he is there for you.

When you finally do open up, he doesn't make a big deal of it because he knows how uncomfortable that makes you. Once you have everything off your chest, he thanks you for sharing and asks if you want to cuddle (when in reality he was already nuzzled into you while you were talking).

You know everything is better when he sends you funny memes again.

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sorry there is only three I didn't feel like adding more.

I also switched the old meme for a newer one from reddit ope