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twin size mattress
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4 years ago
each droplet was like a freshly open wound to george's skin. in all it's irony, it was raining the day he arrived at the camp. george believed in god then, telling himself that it was god's way of grieving for all the tortured kids that lived there. he felt foolish for ever believing that.
his hands, once being held by oliver, hugged his stomach. mentally he couldn't feel a thing but physically, he couldn't stop shaking. he assumed he was cold but when the pastor lead them into his cabin, george realized he was never cold. the shaking didn't stop, he was incapable of sitting still for the next few minutes. those minutes felt like hours, though. his parents and the american pastor went back and forth the whole time.
"he's..." it was as if the word burned his mother's tongue. "gay."
the pastor turned to look at george, the young boy stared at the ugly floor. "and has he been cleansed? we can put him in solitary his first week and do simple cleansing. you will, however, have to sign different legal forms for that."
i am going to die here. "no." they are my parents. "he has 'ad enough cleansin'."
"i'll have jenna take him to his room, then. would you like to say any last words, george?" the pastor asked.
george, with dead eyes, looked at his parents. they were his parents, but they did not love him. he had nothing to say. he knew they would not take him serious, what was the point?
"'ell oli, that..." he took a deep breath. "that i love 'im."
"we're doin' this for your own good, owen." his mother said sternly. "you should be thankin' us."
george stopped shaking. he stared into her eyes, hoping that she felt what he felt in that moment. she was hopeless. "thank you." she knew he meant none of it.
jenna, a young, beautiful brunette stepped aside from the door. she placed her delicate hand of his shoulder. george stood up, following the nun out the warmth into the rainy forest. the last of his strength was used to pull his suitcase. he could see oliver inside the car, focusing on the seat in front of him. he looked up and met george's eyes as george was lead toward another wooden building. oliver, disobeying his parents rules, ran out to him. his eyes red and puffy as he latched onto george.
"i love you." oliver cried.
"i love you too." george wanted to cry, he really did. but he had been rinsed of all his tears. "go back to the car, oli." george whispered.
"i don't wan' to."
jenna stood aside, letting the boys interact for a moment. "you 'ave to."
oliver hugged george tighter before letting go of his older brother. george wiped a tear away, giving the younger boy a weak smile. "be safe, okay?"
"okay." jenna took george again, leaving oliver in the rain. he watched as george was lead towards the back. oliver only hoped george didn't kill himself before they met again.
"this," cabin 6. "is where you'll be stayin'." said jenna as she unlocked the door.
as she pushed it open, george began to realize that he'd have to live here. with people who dedicated their lives to breaking kids like george. maybe the worst thing was that his whole life was in one suitcase. this was it, this was his peak.
against one side of the small area was a bunk bed. a single lamp on a small night table, another lamp on a much bigger desk. at the table were two chairs, a small shelf next to it. besides that shelf was a huge wardrobe, both knobs broken off. there was another door opposite to the front one, george assumed it was the bathroom.
"ll'leave you to unpack." jenna whispered softly. george would later find out that jenna was the only one who spoke to them that way.
george noticed the bottom bed was messy and undone. someone was already in there. he stood by the door long after jenna had gone. he didn't want to move, he had never been more afraid. he stared at the beds.
it's so small.
george didn't notice the door open again. "they're twins." startled, george jerked away from the door. a boy with dark hair stood where the nun once did, looking at the beds then back at george. his green eyes reminded him of stephen's mischievous ones.
"you must be the new kid." the boy then smiled sadly.
"y-yeah."
the boy walked towards the bed, falling onto his. "you can 'ave either, don't mind movin'."
that night george couldn't sleep, mostly because he was terrified of falling. he hated heights, but he would feel guilty if he chose the bottom bunk. he didn't talk to the boy at all, he kept his answers short but his roommate seemed to understand. it wasn't until then that george was blessed with tears again. he didn't know how late it was, or if the boy below him was asleep but all he could do was weep. the tears wouldn't stop, each one felt like a new dagger against his face. he hated it. he hated them. he wanted it to be a bad dream, he wanted to wake up to will's messy hair. he wanted to be in will's bed, not in the middle of such a morbid place. the air started to became limited, he didn't know how to make it stop.
"hey!" the olive toned boy was holding george then. he rubbed his back, straddling george. he hushed him gently. "t's okay, mate, jus' breathe."
if i could i would!
his breath staggered as he began to inhale and exhale. he repeated until they pulled apart, george feeling emptier by the second. the other boy placed a hand on his, his concerned eyes watching as george hugged his legs to his chest.
"are you okay?"
george sniffled. "or as okay as you can get?" george didn't answer. the boy sighed, reaching into his pockets. he pulled out a small ipod, untangling the black headphones from around it. he gently reached over and stuck one in george's ear. he was too weak to protest. music already playing quietly from the device, george let it happen.
"m'antonio."
"m'george." george's eyes retreated down again, this time he caught a glimpse of antonio's arm. his heart slowed down as he noticed the lines across his wrist. he said nothing.
i am going to die here.
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sorry for any spelling errors
again, please, please take care of yourselves. you are never ever alone and if you ever need someone to talk to, i am more than happy to listen to you.
talk to ur friends and ur family (if not to other trusted adults), never shut urself out. ❤️
