Joe and Dianne: My Suicide Saviour - Part 2

Found in a loss of hope

Narrator's POV:

"I thought I'd find you here" Joe said quietly. His voice was choked and his mouth felt like a desert. This is the first time he had seen Dianne in over 24 hours and it was fair to say that it was encounter that neither of them ever wanted to have between each other.

Dianne stayed quiet. She stayed perfectly still as her eyes trailed the skinny figure in the doorway - tears threatening to pour down her skin. She kept her hazel eyes on Joe's body as he slowly walked across the polished floor. He held out the coffee cup to her and spoke gently.

"I didn't know if you'd had anything this morning so I got you a drink. It's just a black coffee. Nothing special just your bog standard cuppa'. I remembered it was your drink of choice whilst we were training in here..." Joe started to ramble nervously as he slowly traipsed around on the wooden floor. His head hung low as he talked in an awkward way as if he and Dianne had never had a conversation before. Dianne got bored of his charade and spoke loudly to interrupt him.

"Joe why are you here?" She said impulsively.

Joe looked up quickly towards the red head, who hadn't moved since walking in. He brought his hand up to the back of his neck and solidly pressed his finger into a pressure point causing him pain. Joe always did this when he was stressed - he did it so much it was almost part of his routine.

"Joe?" Dianne repeated impatiently, watching Joe fiddle his fingers around his neck as he thought of an answer.

Conversation:

J: I came here to apologise Dianne

D: Go on then

J: Look, I'm sorry for this whole situation. I should've told you about Evie the moment she showed up in my life again. I had no idea that she was going to kiss me and I want you to know that I stopped it right away.

D: Wait that girl in the photo is Evie

J: Yeah I thought you knew that

D: No I didn't Joseph! That's the girl who almost killed you - the one who abandoned you - the one who you blamed for the reason you cut yourself - the one who ruined your life. Yet still you'd go back to her even though I am right here!

J: No Di it's not like that...

D: THEN WHAT IS IT JOE!! BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO GO THOUGH THAT AGAIN RATHER THAN JUST STICKING IT OUT WITH ME!!

J: Dianne just let me explain, listen to me..

D: No

J: What?

D: For once Joe I'm going to say what has been on my mind for the past 10 months okay. For the time that we have been together you have taken bullet after bullet for me Joe. Both literally and metaphorically. And you tell me that you did those things out of love, but how can I be sure. You never tell me what's going wrong - you never tell me what's in your head, which by now must be pretty fucked up to say the least.

J: You know what Di you're right. My head is fucked up and maybe that's why the moment that someone else got close to me, my initial reaction was to run off and get drunk. My initial reaction was to drink and cut away the pain because that's all I know how to do Dianne

D: Joe , repeat what you just said again

J: What bit?

D: Joe.

Narrator's POV:

Dianne walked towards Joe who was now way across the Other side of the studio, they kept harsh eye contact on one another as Dianne walked over with each step gaining more purpose. Her nostrils were flared and her anger was only rising from the situation.

She kept eye contact with Joe for a brief moment before dropping her gaze to his arms as she got closer to his cold and frail body. She slowly lifted up the sleeves to his jacket.

Across Joe's arms were tens, if not hundreds of little cuts across his arms, intertwining with the faint scars that already lay there. His arm was red and scratchy. It brought back so many horrible memories for the both of them

Tears began to fill in Joe's eyes as he looked down at the state of his flesh, then over to the distraught red head who stood in front of him. Tears began to fall from Dianne's tired eyes as she spun away from Joe and walked off.

"Joe why?" Dianne said in a chocked and teary voice

"I'm sorry Dianne. For everything. For all that I've put you though in our time together. I'm sorry. Please give me a second chance. I love you." Joe said as tears rapidly rolled down his cheeks. He looked at Dianne through the wall of mirrors, trying to figure her out.

Dianne looked back towards Joe, through the mirrors. Their indirect eye contact somehow wrecking everything they love about each other but highlighting it as well.

Dianne cleared her throat before speaking.

"You know what Joe, maybe you should have jumped when you had the chance."