A Girl Named Callie

<Callie> A Girl Who is Starting her New Life

Chapter 13

<Callie Stevens>

I hang up the phone, scrubbing the tears on my cheeks with the back of my hand. I walk over to the mirror in the corner of my room and find a smeared mess where my graduation makeup used to be. Thanks a lot, Jasper. I think to myself as I try to blot away the dark streaks under my eyes. I look like a raccoon, shades of black mixing with the purple of the bags that have been under my eyes since freshman year of high school. Using my concealer, I blend under my eyes, praying that it'll take some of the edge off the dark streaks.

Once I looked freshened up, I slip into the heels my mom bought me a few days ago. They're stiff, the pointed nature of the toe crushing my foot uncomfortably. I wince as I take a few steps around my room, a feeble attempt to break them in. I make my way back to my mirror and admire how well they match my dress, despite the pain they're causing my feet. I grab my graduation cap and gown from my closet and put them on. My mind flashes back to my high school graduation, the one Jasper actually came back for.

He had a few days off from recording and he came back to Everington. Jasper stayed with his mom and spent every spare minute with me. On Friday night of that weekend, I graduated with honors, Jasper and my parents applauding wildly from somewhere in the middle of the crowd. My mom made dinner that night, my favorite lasagna and a peach torte for dessert. She wouldn't let Jasper go home without taking at least half the torte back to his mom. I walked him out to the porch and kissed him goodnight before watching him get in his truck and drive off. Two weeks later, I went to L.A. to visit him and then it was almost four years of silence.

I bite my lip, willing myself not to cry again. He doesn't deserve your tears. This is your day, Callie, don't let him steal that from you too. I place the cap on my head and pin it until there's no movement when I swish my head side to side. I grab my purse from my bed and slip my phone inside before heading out to the living room where I pick up my sunglasses. There's a knock at my door and I open it, finding Andrew standing there, dressed in a pair of khakis and a blue button down with his black graduation robes fitted nicely over the outfit.

"You ready?" He asks, holding out his hand for me.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I reply, feigning a smile.

"You okay, sweetheart?" Andrew tilts his head, his eyes glossing softly over the pained expression on my face. "You look like you've been crying."

"Is it really that noticeable?" I ask, the familiar hot prick beginning in the corners of my eyes.

"No, baby, of course not." Andrew says, pulling me into a hug and kissing the top of my head. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks for lying, Andrew. I have been crying, but it's not worth hashing out right now."

"You wanna talk about it later?" He places his hand on my shoulder as we walk towards the front door of my apartment.

"There's nothing to say except I kicked Jasper out of my life," I inhale deeply, willing myself not to burst into tears.

"Oh, Callie." Andrew pulls me close, my nose pressed into his shoulder as the burning in my eyes becomes painful to bear. "It's gonna be okay."

"I shouldn't have done it, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand his emotional 180-s and the long periods of silence, and he called and he was yelling at me and I did the only thing I could think of," I draw in air sharp and quick, the tears spilling over my cheeks.

"Callie," Andrew pulls away, holding me at arm's length as he stares into my eyes. "You don't deserve to be treated the way he treated you. You did nothing wrong by kicking him out of your life and you shouldn't let him make you feel like you did anything wrong. You aren't always going to be waiting around for him to 'feel in the mood' and he needs to learn not to take you for granted."

I nod, letting Andrew's words sink in as we walk out to his car. Before getting in, he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and lets his fingers linger on my cheek.

"Don't let him make you feel like you're worth less than you are, Callie. Your worth is insurmountable compared to the version of you Jasper was trying to create." Andrew leans in and kisses my cheek before opening the passenger side door for me.

~~~~~

My legs are sticking to the plastic chairs in the sweaty arena where me and five-thousand of my closest friends are impatiently waiting for the university president to finally start calling our names and allow us to begin our lives. The keynote speaker finally finishes his address, to thunderous applause, and the president of the university steps up to the podium. An intense silence falls over the crowd, people leaning forward in anticipation.

"We will now begin the conferring of degrees. Will the Dean of the College of Education please step forward?"

I lean back in my chair and watch as the dean I've spent the last four years getting to know steps up to the podium. He begins to call off names and I watch as my classmates walk across the stage to receive their degrees. Before I know it, we've reached the S-section of the alphabet and I'm up next.

"Callie Stevens, psychology major with an education concentration and a minor in social work." The dean smiles warmly as I make my way across the stage to him. With tears sparkling in my eyes, I accept the degree and smile for my picture. My eyes look out on the crowd and I catch sight of my parents in the third row. My heart twinges at the fact that Jasper should be there but isn't. I exhale deeply and walk off the stage, so I can snake my way back around to my seat. Once seated, I set the degree on my lap and stare at it for a while. I did this and nothing Jasper says or does can take that away from me.

~~~~~

"Look at those graduates." My mom applauds as Andrew and I, hand in hand, walk into Ray's barbeque where our families decided to have a post-graduation lunch. I smile, my cheeks turning pink as I take my seat at the table.

"You're making her blush, sweetie." My dad chuckles as he pats my hand.

"I'm so proud of you, Callie." My mom kisses my cheek as she takes her seat.

"Thanks, mama." I tilt my head and then turn to face Andrew's parents. "I'm Callie, it's so nice to meet you." I hold out my hand to them while Andrew goes to shake my parents' hands.

"I'm Edward and this is Susan." Andrew's dad, Mr. Tate, says as I go to shake his wife's hand.

"We're so happy to finally meet you, Callie, and congratulations." Susan says warmly, her blue eyes shining in the sunlight streaming in from the window behind her. "I know you probably hate this question, but do you have any plans now that you've finished college?"

"I'm going to work with Hope Restoration Ministries in their prisoner reform program." I reply, folding my hands neatly in my lap.

"So is Andrew, but I'm sure you already knew that." Susan chuckles and unwraps her silverware from the napkin.

"Yes, ma'am, I'm so glad we'll both be working together."

"It's very admirable work you two are doing. I know I'd never have the courage to do that."

"It's something I feel like I've been called to do. I've had such a privileged life and I feel like God wants to use me in this capacity." I reply honestly as a waitress comes by to take our order. Once she's scribbled down orders for everyone, I allow Andrew to steer the conversation, bridging the gap between our parents.

I discreetly pull my phone out of my pocket and check the lock screen. Not a message in sight; just a picture of Jasper and I staring back at me. I should really change that. I think to myself as I look upon the pair of us smiling, a lie that stabs my heart repeatedly. As if a trip to Disney Land could have fixed the distance already growing between us. For a moment, I think of deleting his number, of changing the lock screen and truly moving on after almost five years, but something stops me. My thumb hovers above his immortalized blue eyes, the eyes that have haunted me for years, and I can't change the picture. I can't let myself believe that there's no hope that our paths will cross again. So, I shut off my phone, slipping it into my purse, and tune back into the conversation. This is where I belong. Not stuck on a pair of blue eyes that wouldn't come back to me if I begged.