A Girl Named Callie

<Jasper> A Boy who Might Have Another Chance

Chapter 14

<Jasper Coven>

Don't call me. The blunt, harsh words rattle around in my brain. Callie's voice is tearing me apart, her words shredding me like a thin fishing line running over the same patch of skin on the left side of my chest. I can't believe I made her cry, I can't believe I drove her to shutting me out, but at the same time, I can't believe it didn't happen sooner. How could she stand me for these four years? How could she have been pining for me, and I was too dense to see any of it? How could I let this happen?

My head continues to spin, a mixture of guilt, anger, and last night's tequila turning into a toxic combination thanks to my messed-up brain chemistry. I stumble out of my room and grab a bottle of water from the fridge. I chug the entire thing, trying to focus on the burning cold in my throat and not the fishing line sensation in my heart. I crush the bottle when I'm finished, and grab a pair of kitchen scissors. I begin to slice through it, letting my anger take control. I slash at it until I see blood dripping from three of my fingers. I wince, setting the scissors and the shards of the bottle down on the counter.

I go to the bathroom and grab some Neosporin and a band-aid. After cleansing and disinfecting the cuts, I slather them in Neosporin and wrap them tightly in the bandage. I bite my lip as I try to stop focusing on the shooting pain in my fingers. I turn over my wrist and look at the red scars that occupy the space in the absence of my string bracelets. An inky black heart surrounds the concentrated space, another reminder of Callie I had to have on my body. See Jasper, these cuts aren't nearly as bad as the ones you used to give yourself. I trace the black heart, my mind flashing back to the first time I showed Callie the cuts. She didn't judge, she didn't flinch, she just did what she always did: pick up the pieces. She showed me compassion and love, not the judgement or the disgust I had expected. Damn, I was so lucky to have her. I shake the thought from my head. I don't have her anymore and I don't have the cuts either. It's the only good thing alcohol has ever done for me.

I wander back out into the kitchen and grab my half-finished bottle of tequila from last night. With hand still throbbing, I take a long swig from the bottle, the liquid burning my throat as I look around the empty apartment. I think back to my conversation with Callie this morning, before she told me to leave her alone. Her comments about my music slowly begin to replace the ending of the conversation and an idea takes shape. Before my mind can change, I walk into my bedroom and plop down in front of my laptop. I take another swig and log onto my Youtube channel. The video of the song has almost tripled in views since I last checked and the comments seem to be overwhelmingly positive.

With this positivity driving me, I search through the videos I have of other songs I've written. I begin to upload them one by one, each one launching me into the next. I have no qualms about putting myself out there; it's what I've wanted to do since I arrived in L.A. and now, nearly five years later, I'm finally getting the chance. The last one uploads and I lean back in my chair, taking another sip of tequila. Screw you, Mr. Olson, I'm taking matters into my own hands and you can't stop me.

~~~~~

"Are you out of your damn mind, Jasper Coven?" Isaac seethes over the phone a few hours after I uploaded my videos. They've been trending all day and my fans are demanding more.

"I've never been thinking more clearly in my life."

"You've got to be kidding me. What the hell are you on? You cannot possibly be thinking clearly." Isaac says, trying to remain as calm as possible.

"I had an epiphany, Isaac, and I did it. I don't regret it; have you seen the comments?"

"You are out of your damn mind," I can visualize Isaac's face getting progressively redder as our conversation continues.