one night | jeongchan ☑

35

chan pov

it has been a little over 5 years since kyung mi and hyunjae were born. i don't know what i would do without them now. but today...i'm proposing to jeongin.

tonight is date night, we have date night once a week usually on friday. since we still live with hani and junhyeok, even though we are trying to find our own place, we just leave the twins with them.

i'm taking jeongin to our favorite park by a beautiful lake. then i'm just going to wing it. 

"where are we going?" jeongin asked.

"you'll see." i said. we sat in comfortable silence most of the way there.

"we're here." i said and jeongin got out of the car.

"we're at the lake! you haven't taken me here in forever." he said excitedly.

we walked over to the bench that sits in between a few tall trees. it is closed off from the rest of the park but there is an open view of the lake. and it is almost sunset now.

we sat on the bench with jeongin just leaning his head on my shoulder for awhile. once it was sunset i got up from the bench confusing jeongin. then i pulled the ring box out from my back pocket and got on one knee.

jeongin was so shocked and i could see tears forming in his eyes. he covered his face mostly because of the tears.

"jeongin. we have been through so much together...so will you make me an ever happier man and marry me?" i asked.

he nodded vigorously first and then yelled "of course i'll marry you, you idiot!" which made me laugh.

~1 year later~

jeongin and i have been married for a little less than 6 months and i couldn't be happier. today he said that he wanted to talk to me about something but i don't know what it is.

"jeongin? what did you want to talk about?" i asked.

"oh. i just wanted to ask you if you ever wanted any more kids?" he asked shyly.

"i'd rather not, right now. i want to get our own place and more steady jobs before we have more kids." i said.

"oh okay." he said and tried to leave.

"what's wrong, jeongin?" i asked grabbing him by his arm to stop him from leaving.

"n-nothing. i was just hoping you would say you wanted more kids because i really want another kid. i really want a boy too." he said without looking me in the eyes.

"like i said. maybe in a year or two i would be fine with it...but just not now." i said trying to stay calm.

"what if i told you i was pregnant right now?! what would you do?! would you divorce me?! would you just forget about me?!" he started yelling with tears in his eyes.

"no, no i would never do any of that...calm down baby. but are you...are you actually pregnant?" i asked.

"no! i just want more kids and i know that if i had a kid then you wouldn't support me anymore! do you remember that fight we had like 6 years ago because you were having second thoughts?! what if you had second thoughts about me? about our marriage? about our children?" he yelled and then started to sob. 

i tried to hug him but he just knocked my arms away.

"appa! daddy! why are you fwighting?" a scared and crying kyung mi asked.

"it's okay kyung mi, just go to hani and junhyeok with you sister please." i said and she quickly ran off.

"jeongin...calm down. none of this would ever happen. it's alright." i said and tried to hug him again only to get my arms knocked away for the second time.

"i'm not going to calm down because you know god damn well that it is true!" jeongin yelled and ran off to our room. i heard him slam the door.

i went to our room but the door was locked. so i just spoke to him through the door.

"jeongin. i don't know why you are acting like this but if i did anything wrong, i'm sorry." i said softly although loud enough that he could hear me.

"pick the lock, i don't want to get up." i heard jeongin say. so i went and got a bobby pin and then picked the lock.

i expected to see jeongin in the bed but he wasn't, he was in the bathroom. and there was blood everywhere.

"jeongin! what happened in here?" i asked looked at the poor boy with tears running down his face. i looked at his body but there were not cuts so...how did all the blood get everywhere.

"remember h-how i sa-said i wasn't p-pregnant?" he said shakily in between sobs.

"yeah...why?" i asked.

"because w-when i got that m-mad at you and scared m-myself i-i had a m-miscarriage..." he said.

"jeongin...i d-don't know what to say..." i said and then a few tears ran down my face.

there was still more blood from the miscarriage...jeongin and i sat together in the bathroom crying for awhile before hani knocked on the door asking if we were okay.

"i'll go talk to her..." i said and jeongin nodded. i walked out of the bathroom and closed the door before i opened the one the our room.

"what happened? is that blood?!" hani asked when i went out of the room and into the hallway with her.

i couldn't hold it in and just started to sob. hani rubbed my back and asked me what was wrong and if jeongin and i were okay.

"o-okay i'll tell you what happened. so...jeongin and i were just in the kitchen when he asked me if i wanted any more kids. i replied by saying maybe in a year or two. then he just started freaking out and saying all these crazy scenarios that would never happen...then he ran off to our room, when i came in he was in the bathroom covered in blood. it was because he..he...he had a miscarriage..." i explained and then went back to crying.

"it's okay chan. it isn't your fault..." she said.

"yes it is! if i had said that i wanted more kids now then he would have been okay! our child would have been okay!" i yelled.

"that isn't true chan. you weren't ready for more kids...you can't just lie to him." she said.

that was the worst night of my life...

-

i think within the next two chapters i will finish this book...i'm too lazy to proof read so sorry for mistakes...