Love Can Save {An Aphmau Fanfiction}

Laurance

We had been walking for three weeks. Three weeks of nothing but the trees and dirt, slowly wearing away at our minds until we couldn't stand waking up in the morning anymore. I was beginning to sort of regret ever agreeing to this scouting mission. I could tell from the looks in the other's eyes as we paused for lunch that they were thinking the same.

"Ugh..." Lucinda leaned her head back against the massive trunk behind her, looking for all the world like she was about to fall asleep. "My feet are falling off!" Dante laughed, pulling his bag from the ground towards the small of his back. "Why can't there be a spell that takes us straight to the place Tula is?" Garroth chuckled at that, copying Dante's movement in what seemed to be an attempt to nap before we took off again.

"I'm honestly surprised there isn't," I added, doing my best to get comfortable against the large rock behind my back. Garroth nodded, a far-off look in his eyes. I studied my brother-in-arms discreetly, trying to figure out his mood and thoughts. The Garroth I had known three years ago was rarely seen nowadays; he was a lot more subdued and rarely was without that distant look in his eyes. Thalia had told me all about Alice and what she had meant to Garroth, and I had witnessed her sacrifice in the village square. I wasn't sure why, but for some reason, this mission was bringing up those old memories. Actually, a thought appeared in my head, leading me to frown as I thought about it. I don't think he's been the same since whatever happened to him that morning of Aphmau's party. And I don't think he ever told us what actually happened... With that thought in mind, I leaned back against the rock and continued to watch Garroth until he finally noticed, a good ten minutes later.

"What?" He mouthed, glancing over at Dante and Lucinda who both appeared to be asleep. I shrugged, shifting my legs in front of me and keeping my voice low so not to disturb the other members of our group.

"I dunno. I was just thinking about what happened two months ago. You know, the morning of Aphmau's party?" There was a shift in Garroth's demeanor as he remembered what occurred that morning. I continued at a whisper, not wanting to push him too much. "You never told us what happened."

Garroth sighed, leaning his head back to stare at the blue sky hidden behind the massive trees of the forest. He was silent for several minutes, and by the shifting Dante kept doing, I knew that he was waiting for Garroth's answer as much as I was. Eventually he sighed, looking over at me once again. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again before groaning, running his shaking hands through his hair in frustration.

"I'm sorry, it's just-" He blew out a breath, hair stirring on his forehead with the action. "I've only talked with Nana about this, so it's... well, it's kinda... it's really hard to get the words out." Lucinda was watching now, making no attempt at pretending to sleep like Dante was. Garroth sighed yet again, focusing his attention on the hands that were now falling into his lap. "Alright, umm..." He floundered for words again, breath coming in short bursts, and I was shocked when he started gasping, a hand resting over his chest. "I can't- I can't breathe." I looked at Lucinda with wide eyes, but she was already in motion.

She placed her hands on either side of his face, drawing his attention to her. "Garroth, look at me." He did just that, staring into her eyes while he tried to slow his breathing, his hands wrapping around her wrists as he anchored himself to reality. Dante was sitting up straight, fingering his sword hilt while we watched the pair together. Garroth's lips moved silently while Lucinda breathed in and out with him, leading him out of dangerous waters.

A few minutes later, Garroth took a shuddering breath, squeezing Lucinda's wrists before pulling away. She smiled gently, moving back to her seat by the tree. "You don't have to talk about it Garroth. Obviously, it's triggering something that doesn't want to be brought up."

"No," he murmured, tightening his fists in his lap. "I need to talk about it. This whole trip has just... it's just bringing back a lot of bad memories." Dante made a small noise of agreement, trying to relax after the panic he felt seeing Garroth losing it. I shifted forward, patting Garroth on the knee before handing him my water canteen. He took it gratefully, a tired smile flashing before he drained the rest of my water.

"That night, well, morning, umm..." Garroth cleared his throat before raising his gaze to mine, our eyes locking as he found support in my face. "I was coming up from a night shift, and..." The story tumbled out of him, words that he had kept locked up for over two months. We sat there in silence the whole time, shocked by the tale he wove. Then he told us of his discussion with Nana almost a month after his vision, and the advice she had given.

"By the Six..." Lucinda murmured, shaking her head in disbelief. "That's quite an adventure Garroth." He snorted, running his hands through his hair in an attempt to control the emotions I was sure were raging within. Dante whistled, rummaging through his bag for something else to eat. Of course, we should probably be on our way, but I had a feeling that none of us wanted to walk again today after the bomb Garroth had just dropped.

"Why did you say anything sooner? No," Dante answered his own question, "of course you couldn't tell us. I am glad you talked to Nana though. I wondered how tea got on the couch cushions." Garroth attempted a smile, but I knew he was still shaken by the recounting of his story. I clapped him on the shoulder, stretching my legs out in front of me.

"I'm glad you were able to tell us, Garroth. I'm sorry for asking about it in the first place. And I think Nana had some good advice, eh?" He nodded, turning his gaze to the ground beneath us rather than face any of us.

"Thank you all for listening. I think... I think that just talking about it makes it easier to deal with. Ire-" He shook his head, and I laughed along with him. "I never know what to say anymore. But this entire mission, I don't know... it's like every bad thing that happened last year is coming back to me, and there is nothing I can do to get rid of these... thoughts."

Lucinda smiled tightly, reaching out to pat his knee. "It's probably this stupid forest my mother created. But don't worry. We're always here to talk to you. We may not see each other as much anymore now that we aren't being dragged all over creation with Aphmau," we all laughed at that, "but we're all still friends, and that's more than I could ever ask for." Dante nodded energetically, tossing an extra apple towards Garroth.

"Come on, let's set up camp. I don't think we could handle more walking today."