The Clone

20.

Sara sits in Sam Wilson's therapy room, she's waiting for him, in the dark, the door opens letting the man step into the room, he switches on the light and turns. Sam screams like a little girl seeing Sara sat on his sofa.

"Sara!" He scolds. "What the hell?"

"You talked Bucky into breaking things off with me?" she asks standing.

"Okay, no" Sam corrects. "We talked it out, and he came to that conclusion on his own...." Sara crosses her arms over her chest, Sam looks a little afraid. "Tony warned me you have a dark temper" Sam points out. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No, I don't want to talk about it. What I want is for people to stop deciding what they think is best for me" she answers. "You don't know me, Bucky barely knows me, what the hell gave you both the idea that you could....." she breaths a huff through her nose. Trying to control herself.

"Sit down" Sam tells her moving to his own. Sara glares at him. "Sit" he repeats, she does as she is told. "Just then...when you should have let yourself feel that anger, that betrayal, you pushed it away"

"I worked very hard at learning to control my emotions" She admits. "The dark ones anyway....."

"Why?" Sam asks, Sara looks away.

"There was an issue...a few of them, with the cloning process. Side effects. There was in all of us, but...mine didn't manifest until....after the program was shut down. If it was always there or not I can't tell you. Howard said I was inhumanly sensitive" she shrugs. "I attacked him with a wrench" she admits looking to Sam. "When I was ten"

"Why?" Sam asks.

"I was just so angry" she answers. "I wanted to go outside and play with other children and he told me I couldn't. I was too special to play with other children, too precious.....but I wanted it so badly that I just....when he said no....I don't know what happened. That was the first time that I felt a bad emotion that intensely. And it wasn't the last....so I started to learn to control myself, to force away bad emotions, so I didn't hurt anyone...."

"Have you ever hurt anyone else because of it?" Sam asks.

"After Howard died, Tony took me to a bar for the first time, I had my first drink....I actually had fun" she fidgets with her silver ring. "There was this guy sat two or three seats down the bar, he waited until Tony went to the bathroom before he approached me, started flirting. I didn't know how to process it" She admits. "Howard had me so sheltered that I didn't know how to.....process some guy talking to me like that.....Sooo....I rammed his head into the bar, 12 times and broke a bar stool over his back....fracturing his spine"

"Wow" Sam breaths. She nods. Sam leans forward. "Do you let yourself feel guilt? Do you ever feel it?" he asks.

"Yes" she answers. "I have to....without guilt...I'm a monster" she then snorts and shoots Sam a look. "You're crafty and sneaky" she points out, Sam smirks at her.

"Yep...feel better?" he asks, Sara looks away and sighs. "It's okay to let it out" Sam tells her. "To feel these things....is to be human"

"I can't" she admits. "That side of my personality, that side effect, it's dangerous....and bloodthirsty" she looks to her lap and pulls a thread from her jeans. "I don't like to think of the damage I could do, if I was to allow myself to be that person. So no..." she looks back to Sam. "It is not okay for me to feel those things...I concentrate on the good, I see the good in everything, even my break up with Dean"

"How so?" Sam asks. "What good came from that?"

"I met Bucky" she answers warmly. "Why would I be mad or upset about the events that lead me here, to this point in my life?" she asks him back. "Yes, it hurt that he walked away from me, that he threw away the life we had together, but I don't want to dwell on it, I want to get on with my life, I want to move past it. To be the better person here. I want to win this break up" Sam smirks at her, Sara sighs a little.