Why Gen Z Kids will fix the world- or at least help people know why it's broken

When

⚠️ DEPRESSING, POSSIBLY TRIGGERING ⚠️

When did you stop living for you?

When was it you had to force yourself to stay alive for a few people and something small as "Someone has to feed the cat" or "I wanna read on the hammock in the warm sun this summer."

Cause I wanna tell you something.

When you stop living for you, things get tricky. So tricky you wonder if you lost it all one day of you would finally let yourself go.

Maybe I don't wanna live anymore. Maybe I've been considering going to a hospital so I don't have the pressure on me at school and maybe I've been considering going to a hospital so I can rest.

Cause it gets harder. The amount of times I think about death in a day is enough I should be in a mental ward anyways. But I smile. And put on my same jacket. And walk the halls trying to fend off my mental illnesses because school simply doesn't have time for it.

Man. I didn't think I would make it this far. However old you think I am, I'm younger. And I'm still wondering why I'm here. 

Sometimes I think about it and go "What about the people I could've helped in the future?" And realize that I might care a bit, but that there's millions of us and we are all capable of doing the same things. So why would I make a difference anyways?

I have AKF written out on my wrist every day, but the more I get stuck in the more it loses effect.

When you're only living for FIVE THINGS in this world filled with stuff and people, that's sad.

And these five things could disappear quickly.

Because there are 7.53 billion+ People living in this world, why would it matter if I made 4 of them sad and why would it matter if I walked off the face of the earth? It wouldn't. Why would I have the audacity to think I matter?

Sorry if this is a lot of weight. I'm just. I dunno I use this as a diary? Maybe? I'm not sure exactly. I'll stop rambling now