His Soulmate | Bucky Barnes ✔

Chapter Thirty

I woke up to Bucky wiggling around in the bed. I craned an eye open to see him slowly twisting and stretching his leg, lifting the duvet up and down as he rotated his hip, and pushed his torso up. He still had an arm wrapped around me, holding me tight against his chest, but he hadn't noticed I'd woken up.

He released a satisfied sigh before flopping down on his front, nearly crushing me in the process. I darted my head away from the pillow just in time, only for him to chuckle, slowly lifting his head up. "Sorry doll, didn't mean to wake you up." He pressed a kiss to my cheek before wrapping his arms back around my waist.

"What are you doing?" I yawned, nestling my back into his chest as he tugged me closer to him. I instinctively wrapped a leg around his as he manoeuvred himself under the duvet, and I felt the familiar wave of security whenever Bucky held me wash over me.

"My leg went dead, and I got pins and needles." He mumbled quietly, then dove down, lowering his head to cover my neck in quick kisses. His hair tickled my cheek as his lips danced across my skin, and my eyes fluttered shut with the tingling sensation that spread from our contact.

His hair was soft, his shampoo filling my nose as he softened his assault. I leant back into his touch, pushing away the unnerving dream from the night before.

The night before... Christmas Eve.

I squeezed my eyes shut as a montage of holidays spent with my family pushed themselves to the front of my mind. A sudden feeling of dread twisted at my gut as I realised I wouldn't be able to spend the holiday with mum.

I rolled back to face Bucky, tilting my head back to look into his eyes. Small flecks of darker blue were littered in the icy pools of his eyes, though the warmth they held made me feel almost guilty for feeling sad. "Merry Christmas James."

"Merry Christmas Doll."

Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks as the lump in my throat grew thicker. With a mumble under my breath I slipped from his grasp and darted to the bathroom, the tiled floor cold under my bare feet. I stared at the reflection over the sink, not surprised at seeing the bags hanging low beneath my eyes, nor the wild mess my hair had become from the inevitable tossing and turning from haunting dreams during the night.

"Just one day," I whispered at the broken girl in the mirror. "Just one day to smile, and be happy. Peter is here, James is here. Tony and Steve are here - just take a deep breath and you'll be okay."

Not fully convinced by the weak pep talk, I splashed my face with water and stuck my tongue out in an attempt to cheer myself up. "You can do this." I forced a smile onto my face, then left, grateful to see Bucky propped against the headboard watching me walk towards him.

He lifted the duvet up so I could join him, then tucked it carefully around me. His arm lowered to form another pillow beneath my head, whilst his cool metal hand traced small swirling patterns onto my hip. His yawn was muffled by our knotted hair, and his shoulder that he'd wedged between us.

"Buck?"

"Hm?" He leant back, tilting his head down so I could see his eye brows furrow as he smiled at me.

"I..." I swallowed a gulp of air, and tried to push the bundle of nerves away that had begun growing since I'd realised what day it was. "I know it's Christmas but... I don't- I mean, it's only been a few months and," I sucked in a deep breath, remembering the tips Eve had given me for calming down. Breathe in, hold your breath, and slowly release it.

Bucky's head dipped down, his eyes flicking between mine as I mumbled over my speech. "You don't feel like celebrating."

I nodded, worried about how he'd react. But I was surprised by Bucky gently moving his face forwards so his lips met mine, a light tingle flushing my face a pink in the early morning light that crept around the curtain. He pulled away a little, leaning his head against his arm so we could watch each other. "I understand."