His Soulmate | Bucky Barnes ✔

Chapter Fifty

"Infertile?"

The doctor nodded, a solemn look on her face as she looked between the results on her desk and Bucky's face. Her eyes flashed with something between sympathy and empathy as she caught my eye, her head bowing as she waited for the news to settle in.

Bucky looked like someone had slapped him. His skin had paled, and his eyes stared off into the distance, unblinking. His chest rose slowly, before sinking and his head slowly shook.

I twisted in my chair, my hand that had been cupped between his suddenly free as his grip lessened significantly. "Bucky? It's going to be okay."

I reached for his hand, wrapping my fingers around his, but his body didn't react in any way. He just sat there, cold and unmoving, like he'd been frozen.

Frozen.

That was the problem.

He'd voiced his fears to me, his worries that HYDRAs torture would leave him unable to bear children, and that's exactly what had happened. His worst fears had come true. The future that he'd painted so brightly for the two of us had dulled to grey slush as his tormentors laughed their last, twisted, evil, laugh.

"Bucky?" I called again, shooting an apologetic smile to the doctor who sat uncomfortably behind her desk. "Look at me."

He turned his gaze, his eyes shining with unshed tears, glistening as he blinked slowly. A single tear bled through his closed eyelashes, before sliding over his cheek. My heart shattered, my eyes stinging as I pushed my own tears away.

I faced the doctor, "can you give us a minute please?"

She nodded softly, and pushed herself from the chair. The door clicked softly closed as she left, and I positioned myself so I was kneeling between Bucky's legs. I guided his hands to my cheeks, only letting go when his fingers reached up and curled into my hair. I ran a hand soothingly along his thigh, staring up at him.

"I'm sorry." His voice cracked, a harsh break that made my head begin to hurt. "I'm so sorry."

I pushed myself up, and stood firmly in front of him. His knees squeezed my legs as I wrapped my hands around his shoulders, forcing his muscled back forward. His head lay against my stomach, his neck bowed as he shook silently. I clenched my jaw, holding Bucky tighter as his arms slowly lifted and wrapped around my legs.

I sucked in a breath, trying to steady myself from breaking down in front of him. I needed to stay strong for him, for the both of us. We were caught in a whirlwind of pain and upset, and I was struggling to keep it together.

The doctor knocked softly on the door, her head poking through the gap. Bucky reluctantly dropped his arms from my legs, but his fingers entwined with mine, squeezing just hard enough to show that he needed physical support. I slid back into the chair, inching closer to Bucky's side, as well as leaning forward so I could hear the doctor better.

Although he wasn't crying, the heaving breaths Bucky took filled the small silence as the doctor settled down and opened Bucky's notes.

***

"I... I need some space doll."

I paused on the step, one leg half bent as I turned around to look at Bucky. He still towered over me even though he was several steps behind, and I tilted my head slightly to see the most wretched, heartbreaking look in his eyes.

"Space?" I whispered.

"Not from you!" He darted forward, his hands gripping mine as his bottom lip wobbled slightly. "I just need to spend the day to myself, okay? I'll come home tonight, I promise, I just..." he trailed off, and leant forward to wrap his arms securely around me.