At Times

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Sometimes I see you in that coffee shop you loved

Where you got me out of my dorm and into the world

Or in the food lines where you once kept me company

Because I have anxiety that makes it hard to order


Other times I wish I could hold you again

And have someone to run up to and embrace

With a smile so proud and wide everyone would know

We were in love


At times I try to recall what you've said

But I can't remember the sound of your voice

Or exactly how you look

Ever since I made you fade out of my life

So I could let the light in


Sometimes when you leave someone

Even after you've let them go

Your hands still grip at nothingness

In expectation of something

That is no longer there like you always thought it would be

With your muscles tensed,

And you don't know it yet

But you've just saved yourself

Even if you feel like you're being crushed under the weight

Of nothingness


This is how I feel, at times

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