Angels With Filthy Souls R-18 (COMPLETED)

#9

Christmas break has finally ended and my last encounter with him was Christmas Day itself. After that I intentionally avoid our paths to cross, if my hunches tell me that he's in the kitchen I rather stay up in my room or it's the other way round, when he's in his room I am in the kitchen or elsewhere that does not includes his presence. Isa pa sa mga pinasasalamat ko ay ang pag-alis niya sa bahay, I heard from Mom that he found a condo unit near Kuya EA's residence.

Luckily that day he left I was in the bathroom and think all possible excuses not to see him for the last time but he bid his goodbye behind those close doors. I admit that when he transferred to his new home something inside the house felt lacking, hindi ko alam kung ang buong bahay ba o ako lang ang apektado. Kasi si Daddy balik na naman sa pagiging seryoso, pang-Christmas lang ata 'yung sweetness na 'yun. Hindi man lang pinatagal kahit ilang araw.

I am back to the boring Lana Bellamie, the loner, the frustrated and I am back reading my book and watching my pending movies. Wala akong makausap dito sa bahay. Mom is with Dad while the maids are busy doing chores. Ayaw ko naman na makipag-usap lang sakanila dahil panigurado papagalitan sila ni Daddy. Hindi naman ako makaalis ng bahay dahil wala namang magda-drive sa akin. May driver nga kami pero hindi naman siya susunod unless it's Dad's order. You see, hawak kami lahat ni Daddy sa leeg.

Bukas na ang balik naman sa university at ramdam na ramdam ko na ang excitement sa loob-loob ko. Ilang weeks ko ba namang hindi nakita ang squad ko. I misses the bubbly Danielle, the serious Elijah and the sassy Sapha. My squad and I have our own distinct characteristics and I want to consider myself as the silent bitch among us. Kilala ko naman na ang sarili ko. Isipin niyo buong buhay ko sinayang ang oras ko sa aking sarili. I spoil myself, I love dressing-up and put art on my face, that's why I am that familiar.

Nagpagulong-gulong ako sa aking higaan nang ayaw pa rin tumigil ng utak ko sa kakaisip. Ilang minuto pa ay tumigil ako at napatihaya sa kama habang nakatitig sa kisame. Maybe if I did not keep the thing he gave to me we are probably talking to each other right now. Baka kung saan-saan na naman umaabot ang usaapan naming. Honestly speaking, I really love talking to him. Like it's a new knowledge for me whenever he say a word. He's a not just a man, he knows how to be wholesome and sensitive at the same time.

"You're fucked up, Bella!" I then slapped my forehead and move to the other side of the bed to curl myself as I hug my knees.

Ishmael, think of Ishmael!

* * *

Nagising ako sa tunog ng digital alarm clock ko. Ayaw ko pa sana ang tumayo dahil tinatamad ako pero nang mapagtanto ko kung anong ganap ngayon ay napaupo ako bigla.

I let myself adjust at first and when I got the hang of it I started moving abruptly like time is chasing after me. I did my shower in a short period of time as well as eating my breakfast. My excitement is way too higher than other students and I can guarantee that is incomparable. 

 Ako lang ata ang may malaking ngiti na pumasok sa gate ng university. Lahat ng nakakasalamuha ko ay nakasimangot o di naman kaya'y inaantok. Baka masyado nilang in-enjoy ang paputok noong New Year which is basically one week ago.

Kahit na kanina ko pa sinasabin excited ako ay hindi ko iyon mapangita nang husto dahil ayon nga sa aking ama ay kailangan ko  ng bigyang hustisya ang pagiging Del Fuego ko. I need to grow some finesse in me that's why I am walking like a supermodel on a runway. I am still showcasing my white set of teeth when I saw Ishmael standing near the comfort room. 

Mas lalong lumpad ang ngiti ko at binilisan ko na rin ang paglalakad para agad na makarating sa kinaroroonan niya. He seems occupied and by the looks of it, he's apparently waiting for someone. Even my presence did not distract him so to grab his attention, I poke his forearm. 

Napaayos siya ng tayo at nagtatakang tumingin sa gawi ko. Pati ako ay nagtaka rin sa inasal niya hanggang sa unti-unting napalitan ng ngiti ang pagtataka niya. 

"I miss you." Kinikilig ko pang saad pagkatapos ay binigyan ko siya ng isang halik sa labi. Mabilis lang iyon na siya ring nagpabilis sa tibok ng puso ko. 

Ishmael still gives me the feeling the first day we announced that we were together. And that's a relief since that only proves that my heart still beats for him. I may not be faithful but still my loyalty is  still there and even though I feel guilty, the fact that my heart finds its way back to him is what matters here. 

Mabilis niya akong hinila para sa isang mahigpit na yakap at tila bang nakasanayan ng sagot sa yakap niya ay hinagkan ko rin siya sa kanyang bewang. 

"I miss you more, Babe." Ikinulong niya ang mukha ko para sa isa pang halik pero mas malalim ito kaysa sa na una kanina. Kung wala pang may tumikhim sa likod namin ay hindi pa sana hihiwalay ang aming mga labi. 

"Oh, Sapha!" Masigla kong bati at bago lumapit sa kaniya ay pinalis ko muna ang kumalat kong Rosy Posy semi-matte lipstick from Kismet Cosmetics. Mahina ko ring kinurot ang tagiliran ni Ishmael na nagpangiwi sa huli. Loko talaga siya, nakakahiya na kay Sapha ang ginagawa namin. 

I should be sensitive, PDA is never a good thing. Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay ma-a-appreciate ng tao ang pagiging affectionate ng mga couple. There should be limitations to follow to avoid misunderstandings coming from the outside party. 

I give her a sincere tight hug another way of saying sorry for the show earlier. 

"Kanina pa ba kayo?" I inquire and go back to Ishmael's side. Sapha looks up to the guy beside me before giving me tight lip smile while nodding. 

"Yes. In fact, others are waiting in the cafeteria waiting for... us. Let's go?" Sapha leads the way while Ishmael heaves out a deep sigh. His breath touches the crown of my head. Is there something wrong?

Nagtataka ko namang ipinilig ang ulo ko sa kabilang side habang hinahayaan ko ang sarili ko na alalayan ng boyfriend ko. 

"Did I do something wrong, Babe?" Tiningnan ko pa siya at kitang-kita ang seryoso niyang mukha na nakatingin lang ng direkta sa harap. He shakes his head and gives me a reassuring smile. I take that as an answer. 

Bago pa man kami makarating sa cafeteria ay napagtanto ko na rin na baka ako ang may problema. Supposedly, weekends of Christmas break are for us friends but unfortunately most of it ay 'di ako nakasipot. The guilt creeping inside me makes me feel nauseous. 

Lalo ko pang naramdaman ang pagiging worthless kong kaibigan nang tumahimik ang iba pa naming kaibigan na nasa usual spot namin. Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin nila Danielle and Elijah sa aming tatlo. There is something in the way they stare at us. May-awa ang paraan ng pagtitig nila sa amin... o sa akin lang? I don't get it. Ano ba talaga ang problema?

"Sorry,"

"Sorry." Halos magkapanabay na sambit naming tatli excluding Sapha and Ishamael. 

I am still not getting th gist of what's happening right now and the curiosity earlier is now replaced by the curiosity being piqued. 

"Sorry for what?" My forehead forms a deep V as I intently wait for their answer. 

Nagkatinginan ang dalawa kong kaibgan na mukhang nag-aalangan na kung sasabihin ba nila o hindi. Nang malipat ang atensyon ko kay Sapha ay nakayuko lang ito tinitingnan ang pinaglalalruang mga daliri. She looks guilty but for what?

"We should've said this to you earlier but we cannot find a way to do that," si Danny. Huminga siya ulit nang malalim bago nagaptuloy.

"And we think now is the right time." Tinanguan niya si Elijah at ngayon ang huli na naman ang humigop ng isang malalim na hangin. 

"Sapha and Ishmael are together."

* * *

;)