Angels With Filthy Souls R-18 (COMPLETED)

#30

"Dad, you can't do this to me." The moment we got inside the house, I plead Dad. I did not even shout, my heart feels heavy and tired all at once and although I am exhausted I dare to start this statement of which I know will end up to another argument. 

Tumiim ang bagang ni Daddy tila tinatantya rin ang sarili. Si Mommy naman ay tahimik pa rin simula nang makaalis kami sa bahay ko. Bumalik ang atensyon ko sa aking ama at kitang-kita ko ang paglambot ng kan'yang mukha. For once, I see the father I long to have since day one. His eyes speak defeat in spite of his straight face. My heart weighs heavy at the sight and now the guilt eats me slowly. How can I speak to him like that? 

Kahit hindi ko iyon sinasadya at nasabi ko lang dahil sa sobrang sama ng loob ay nagi-guilty pa rin ako. Hindi man siya ang ama na pinangarap ko pero kahit papaano ay naging ama ko rin naman siya. Pinigilan niya lang naman ako sa tingin niyang ikasisira ko. 

"Pasensya ka na, anak." Apat na salita lang ang sinabi niya pero ang puso ko ay parang hinila ng sahig at nabasag. Lalong bumigat ang naramdaman ko. I am between feeling pain and ecstatic. Tinawag niya akong anak pero kalakip nu'n ay ang kaniyang pag-ayaw. 

"I am sorry but I can't let you stay with Forsythe. He does not deserve you, Lana Bellamie. I don't want you to settle for less if I know that there's more to the world you need to see. I am not trying to be a villain here, 'nak. As your parent, I always want you to have and be the best. Hindi si Forsythe ang bagay sa 'yo." 

Pareho na kaming umiiyak ni Daddy. Ganoon din si Mommy habang tahimik pa ring nakamasid sa aming dalawa. It's as if she's letting us have this  moment. But I am really torn right now. Ang galit ko ay unti-unting nawawala nang marahan akong hinila ni Daddy sa isang mahigpit na yakap. Pinaramdam niya sa akin sa pamamagitan ng yakap ang mga pagkukulang niya. Sana nga ganoon lang kadali mapawi ng isang yakap ang lahat. 

"Okay lang na kamuhian mo ako, anak basta alam ko na hindi ka mapupunta kay Forsythe. Bata ka pa at marami ka pang makikilala, ayokong makulang ka sa taong ilang taon ang tanda sa 'yo."

"Pero siya ang gusto ko Daddy." Lumawag ang yakap niya sa akin at tinitigan ang lumuluhang mga mata ko. Nakita ko ang pagdaan ng sakit sa mga mata ay pagpigil niya sa mga luha para 'di tumulo. 

He cups my face and closes his eyes for a second and when he opened those, there's no more emotions. "I am not going to repeat myself, Lana Bellamie. What I want you to do right now is go to your room and rest but before you do that, give me your phone." 

"Dad..." My brows furrow as the rage I have for him earlier comes back. I shake my head while scowling. "How can you be this bad?" Hindi natinig ang mukha niya pero dumaan ulit ang sakit sa kaniyang mga mata. 

"Uncle," sabay kaming napatingin sa nagsalita. My heart skips a beat and I immediately run towards him and embrace his waist from the side. As his automatic response he pulls me closer to him while rubbing my back. 

"Auntie, good evening." He smiles a little to my Mom but she remains with her neutral expression. See how she has become a lapdog for my dad? 

"How dare you take step inside my house and please, keep your filthy hands off my daughter. Do it before I lose all the remaining hold myself to you." 

Tinuro ni Daddy ang kamay niya na nakapalibot sa akin pero parang naging bingi si Forsythe roon. Lalo lang niyang hinigpitan ang pagkakapit sa akin. "That, I am sorry, uncle but I am here to open an arrangement."

"Whatever arrangement you have, save that. I am not interested. The thing I want the most right now is your to get out of this house and the life of my daughter." 

"Dad!" Hindi na ako nakapagtimpi at napasigaw sa sobrang galit. Bakit ba ganoon na lang siya kapursigidong paghiwalayin kami. It's his role to support me firsthand but why this?

He squints his eyes at me as Forsythe squeezes my shoulder in order to calm me down. How am I suppose to calm down if my parents are as reckless as me? Dagdagan pa ni Mommy na nang tingnan ko para humingi ng tulong ay isang iling lang ang binigay sa akin. Damn. 

"Can you please listen to him?" 

"And now you're siding on him? I am still your father, young girl." Pinagdiinan niya ang pa ang kanyang huling mga sallita na nagpadaing at nagpatirik sa aking mga mata. I know those gestures are unnecessary at this moment but Dad is being dad. 

"But you never acted like one." I rebut that made the living room empty. We all become silent and staring at Dad gives me the conclusion that I hit something in him, like an ego I suppose. Even I is pained by what I said but I try to keep that behind a serious face. Alam kong magkakasakitan lang kaming lahat dito dahil galit na ang namamayani.

"Uncle, Auntie, I want to marry Lana if that's what you need as an assurance of my love for her." 

Tumigil ng sandali ang aking mundo dahil sa narinig. Nahilo ako ng saglit at napasinghap. Pati ang mukha ko ay tinakasan ng dugo. Lumawag ang hawak ko kay Forsythe at nang tingalain ko siya ay seryoso nga ang mukha nito. Dinamba ng takot ang aking nararamdaman. Marriage scares me. All of a sudden, it makes me think that I am too infatuated for this. But this is Forsythe offering a marriage, how can I say no to that? 

"No." Magkapanabay na sabat ng aking mga magulang. Umayos ako ng tayo sa tabi ni Forsythe at hinarap sila. Nakipagtitigan ako sakanila lalo na kay Daddy. One second. One minute. Two and he sighs, a defeated one. Then his shoulders sags along with his face.

"You know what? You're right, my little angel. I was never been a good father to you. The mere good word itself scares me. Masyadong maraming expectations at responsibilities na nakapatong at kapag na may mga ganoon may mga consequences as counter part. And this is what I get trying to be the best father I want you to have, it cost you and your heart away. This time, I will be a good father." He is nodding his head while  pursing his lips. My eyes tear up at the sight of him like giving up. 

"I always thought, I was the best. And now I am choosing this moment to be the good father. For the first time, I want you to follow of what makes you happy, but consider this as my last time of being your father." He then turns his back against us. 

Sunod-sunod ang naging pagtulo ng luha ko dahil sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko. Did he just disown me? Thinking that I don't have any father is like being locked away. I feel homeless now, lifeless even. Sinundan ko siya ng tingin at tuloy pa rin siya patungo sa silid nila ni Mommy. 

Bago pa man marating ni Daddy ang silid nila ay nakita ko kung paano siya humandusay sa sahig habang si Mommy ay napatili at sinubukan siyang tulungan na makabangon but he's unconscious. 

My body feels numb and I am not able to hear or sense what is happening right now. Nakatulala lang ako sa direksyon ng aking ama. My lips begin to quiver and it's a minute or two before I realized that I am having my own breakdown as they try to rush Dad to the nearest hospital. 

"Dad," I silently weep before falling unconscious as well.