Angels With Filthy Souls R-18 (COMPLETED)

#11

Good thing Ava happened to me. Siya palagi ang kasama ko at kung minsan ay kasama namin ang ka-MU niya ring si Lordvy. She's a real lesbian but not a cross dresser. Hindi naman masakit sa mata ang pagpapahayag nila ng pagkagusto sa isa't-isa. Sa totoo nga never ko pa silang nakitang mag-PDA, hindi ko alam kung nahihiya sila sa akin dahil kakagaling ko lang sa isang epic breakup o sadyang sensitive lang talaga silang dalawa.

Patapos na rin ang second week ng January at sa tuwing nakikita ko sila sa loob ng room ay hindi ko mapigilang huwag magselos. They do not look like they think of me, they're not bothered and that gives  me a daily wound. Hindi pa nga naghihilom ang sugat na binigay nila ng mga nakaraang araw ay heto na naman at may bago na naman akong iniinda. They did not even approach for more apologies, nor for explanations and comforting me. It was a lonely and futile battle for me. 

"You're spacing out again, bitch! Gustung-gusto mo talaga na pinagtatawanan ka nila, 'no? Get over it." I sigh at what Ava said. Ginalaw-galaw ko pa ang pagkaing nakahain sa harapan ko. 

"How can you make moving on sound so easy?" Tiningnan ko siya at pinaikutan niya lang ako ng kanyang itim at nangungusap na mga mata. 

"Because it is. It's just a matter of choices for ourselves. Yes, you can mourn for your broken heart but how long you want to suffer depends from within but it's much better to get up and start a new page. Doon din naman tutungo lahat ng sakit bakit ko pa papahirapan ang sarili ko?" Ava sips on her orange juice. Hindi namin kasama si Lordvy ngayon dahil may training na agad sila ng footsal for the upcoming event of the school. 

What she said has a point but it's also a fact that it's much easier to say than to put it in action.

Pagod akong makipagdebate sakanya ngayon kaya hinayaan ko na lang. Masyadong drained ang buong sistema ko sa loob ng isang linggo na ito.

Next week na rin pala ang simula ng deployment of work immersions namin. Pinili ko ang kakabukas na publishing company nila kuya dahil iyon rin ang sinabi niya sa akin. Besides with the fact that I love books and reading respectively will not bored the hell out of me. I decided to join the training as a manuscript reader. I'll help the other professionals screen worthy manuscripts from different aspiring authors.

Ava and Lordvy will be coming with me. When she heard the news about my work immersion site she immediately changed hers as well. Sumunod din si Lordvy dahil 'yun nga, ayaw mang aminin ay clingy rin sila sa isa't-isa.

Palabas na sana ako ng room namin dahil uwian na pero naramdaman ko ang marahang hawak sa aking siko. When I looked back, I saw Elijah with an apologetic expression written on her face. Her eyes are glassy and her breathing becomes rapid.

"Lana." She calls out my name breathlessly. Ah, pinipigilan niyang huwag tumulo ang luha niya. Wow, that's... wow!

Pinatigas ko ang ekspresyon sa mukha para naman makita niyang hindi na ako apektado pero sa totoo lang isang tulak niya lang ay matutumba na ako.

Unfortunately Ava is not here to watch the show because she did not attend the last period. Sayang talaga.

"What do you want?" I shake her hand off my elbow and cross my arms just below my chest. I lazily stand up in front of her as I wait. It's unusual not to see them three hanging aroun. Nasaan kaya ang dalawa?

"Gusto ko lang humingi ng tawad. Wala naman akong kinakampihan dito, Lana, eh. Pareho ko kayong kaibigan ni Sapha at ayaw ko ang nangyayari  ngayon sa pagkakaibigan natin." Nasa naglalarong mga daliri niya nakatuon ang kaniynag buong atensyon. 

Hindi makapaniwala akong napanganga at napailing. The nerve! I scoff at her and give her a sarcastic smile. 

"That's so sweet of you Elijah. Pero gaano na nga ba katagal?" Umangat ang tingin niya sa akin. Nag-aalangan ang mga mata niya pati ang bibig niya ay kanina pa bumubukas at sumasara. "Answer me or I'll end this fucking conversation." Nauubos na ang pasensya ko kaya napasigaw na ako sa inis. 

Humigop siya ng isang malalim na hangin bago ako sinagot. "One month na ata." Napaawang na naman ang bibig ko sa narinig. My mind speaks shit my mouth cannot spit out. I grip the backrest of the desk hoping to get some strength from it. "Pero ngayon ko lang nabalitaan ang sa pagbubuntis niya. Please, Lana. Balik na tayo sa dati." 

Elijah tried to reach out fro me but I was fast to avoid my body from her direction. I turn my back against her to also hide my teary eyes. I make it disappear by staring at the ceiling and blinking it a couple of times. 

"Putangina mo naman, Elijah. You're one hypocrite being. Anong walang kinakampihan? It's fucking obvious that your side is on Sapha's because if not you could have told me the news the moment you confirmed it's true. But neither of you two informed me. You just let them fool around and fool me at the same time. But I am spilling you one fresh news." Huminga ako nang malalim para kapain sa sarili ko kung kakayanin ko rin ba ang sasabihin ko. 

"We are not friends anymore. From now on, you, Danny and Sapha will be strangers of my life. Nagsayang lang pala ako ng ilang taon kasama kayo tapos maglolokohon lang pala tayong lahat. Unfair niyo naman." I saw how tears crept out from her eyes at and before our tears even began to sync I left her with my last words. 

Agad akong napatakbo sa pinakmalapit na comfort room at umiyak na naman sa isa sa mga cubicle roon. Why are these happening to me?  Mabait naman ako sakanila. I went away from my rules just to spend more time for them. Masyado naman nila ata akong t-in-ake advantage. Sakit na sakit na naman ang puso ko. Maybe that's the aftermath of giving your all. The more you become generous, the deeper internal wound you'll receive. 

Ilang minuto rin ang pinanatili ko sa loob ng cubicle bago nagdesisyon na lumabas nang matanggap ko nag mensahe ni Daddy na nasa Gate 2 na raw at nakahintay ang sundo ko. Sinugurado kong wala ng bakas ng pagluha ang aking mukha para wala nang masabi sila Daddy sa akin. Hirap akong sagutin sila kung mangyari nga iyon. 

And it seems that the weather saw how hurt I am right now as it starts to drizzle. I run towards the blue Skoda Octavia hatchback trying not to wet my clothes. It's thirty minutes past five when I got home. The rain has finally poured and it's a good thing I am already inside the house. 

Halakhak nila ang bumungad sa akin. I see Mom and Dad sitting on the love seat and my heart skipped a beat when I see the person whom I haven't seen for weeks now. 

"Mommy, Daddy." I call for their attention and kiss both of their cheeks. 

"Ninong." Tawag ko lang sakanya bilang tanda nalamang ng respeto. 

He looks much older from the last time. He had grown some stubbles which makes his jaw more define. The bags under his eyes are also big compare from the last time but that did not lessen his appeal as a man. He looks old but still hot. I blatantly stare in his eyes trying to send a message of which I do not what is. 

"I guess I need to go now, Uncle, Auntie. Lumalakas na rin ang ulan at paggabi na." Paalam niya sa mga magulang ko pero nasa akin nakatutok ang kaniyang mga mata. 

Biglang bumigat ang puso ko sa narinig. Mas lalo ko pang siyang pinakatitigan. 

"Are you sure you don't want to stay the night?" Mom asks.

I try staring him some more with the message I have in my mind. Please stay. My eyes relay the message to his eyes but he did not seem to notice that which made me sigh in the end. He starts to walk towards the main door and I am just here staring as his bum contracts and relaxes every time he take some strides. I badly want him to stay. I miss the feeling of home. I miss Forsythe. But there's nothing that I can do to make him stay. 

Nagtaka pa ako nang bigla siyang tumigil at nilingon kaming tatlo. Then he fixes and glues his eyes to mine.

"You know what, Auntie you're right. Maybe I should stay."

- - -

just a thank you update, nothing more :>