Solangelo oneshots

#3

Tw: mentions of cutting and suicide
(Based on the song, "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Lyrics are in italics)

Will PoV:
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears

The Apollo cabin's walls seemed to press into me, squeezing out any life I was trying to hang on to. The rest of my cabin was out eating lunch, practicing archery, or just hanging out. Their lives were fine; they continued as if nothing had happened to them, as if they weren't pressed down by pain.

And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

The memories were too painful, too vivid. The times we kissed, the nights when we would grab a ratty blanket and cuddle under the stars. The moments where we annoyed Chiron to no end, the times we constantly bugged Percy about not being his type. My fingers were tempted to reach for a blade of some sort, a razor or a dagger, to try and cut out the pain.

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

My head was pressed against the wall; I would probably leave a dent in the wood with the force I was using, but I couldn't feel a thing. Not five inches away from me was the first spot on the wall which I pushed him against for one of our passionate kisses.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I stood with him as his depression worsened. There were nights when I would hold him tight until he fell asleep, and waking up to his screams of pain. He blamed it on Tartarus, on his parentage, his sexuality. He claimed that none of it was curable; I lost count of the numerous times he denied any sort of medication. Now I wish I forced pills down his throat, anything to help him.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind

He was the reason I could go to the infirmary each day, to stare at the painful wounds that belonged to children. He was the reason for telling the injured that they had a reason to heal, and that was so they could find something or someone to be passionate about. I could see the campers knew who my driving force was, and they believed in me. He was always in black, yet he resonated such a powerful force of love to me. Now, I don't even leave this cabin. My siblings were probably struggling to take care of the wounded, but that didn't matter to me anymore.

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

I picked myself up just to crash on my bed, another painful reminder that I wouldn't wake up next to him. I wanted to fall asleep, enter a reality where I could find some sort of contentment, but each time I tried all I could see is his face. I had spent the first few hours after it happened trying to claw it out of my head, but I knew it wouldn't do anything to help.

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

My hand unconsciously found a dagger. The cold metal stung, but it was nothing to everything else. I tossed it back and forth in my hands. When the blade slipped I didn't feel anything, I just watched the crimson liquid spill from the crooked lines. But I knew I couldn't let myself continue with this. I picked myself up and left the cabin for the first time in days.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I ran. The harsh wind pounded into my now much more frail body, but I kept running. I made my way to the spot. This place that contained the source of my happiness. I felt my fingers brush the smooth stone. I felt the words engraved on it.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

The words that held so much meaning to me, the name of my lover.
Nico di Angelo.
The memory was too much for me. Just remembering walking into his cabin, planning to drag him to lunch. Walking in to see that one drop of blood on his sheets, then the trail of droplets leading to the bathroom. The door was wide open, and all I could see was the pale form of Nico. His pulse was still beating as I picked him up to carry him to the infirmary. I remember laying him on the bed to watch his eyelids flutter open and then hearing his last words: "I will always love you, sunshine." I remember placing the last kiss he felt on his forehead as the life left his body.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
You still have all of me, me, me

I stood up and surveyed the area, taking in the sight of colorful petals in remembrance to him. People only were sad for him when he was gone. That thought sickened me. The sun was starting to set, and I could feel my eyelids drooping. I curled myself up next to the stone and wrapped my arms around it. Tears flooded from my face, but I held on as if it were him until I drifted away.

__________________
So that's what it's like to rip apart the hearts of readers! I listened to the song about four times while writing this, and I would have cried if I wasn't in a public place. I had a lot of fun writing a oneshot based on a song, so I guess comment any recommendations for songs. I'm also working on an AU oneshot, so I hope that will be up soon. Hope you enjoyed :)