You said you loved me

2. Wrapped around your finger

After that night with the waiter things only got worse although at the time I didn't notice. You became so possessive over me. You didn't even want me hanging out with my best friend but it was okay. I got to spend more time with you.

You were so sweet to me when you were trying to make up for hurting me. For a week after the incident you would do tiny gestures like bring me lunch at school or buy my flowers and stuffed bears. It was like we had both entered the honeymoon stage of our relationship again.

The second time you hit me was three month after the first. It was because I forgot to text you I would be a little late for our date. You thought it was because I was with someone else but in reality it was because I was finishing a project I had due the next day. You hit me for 'cheating'. You kissed me as apology promising that it was the last time it would happen and I believed you.

I was so stupid to believe you. You were sweet to me after but then it would happen again. It was an endless cycle.

I tried to end things but you would only drag me back in with empty promises of changing. After graduation you said you wanted us to move in together. It would be our new beginning you said. We would be away from all the drama and jealous people. It sounded great. It would be you and I. What wasn't there to love about the idea of living with you.

That was the beginning of me loosing everyone in my life. I lost contact with my friends and family when my phone 'accident' broke. You got me a new one with a new number. By then we had moved hundreds of miles away and I wasn't able to get the numbers back. I went back to visit my family only to find out that they had moved houses for some unknown reason.

The violence became worse. The periods of kindness began to shorten to the point were you would hurt me say sorry and go right back to abusing me.

—

"Fucking useless!" Jimin silently nodded as he focuses his attention on the plates in front of him. His hands shaking, risking the soapy dish to fall out of his hands.

"I work all day! I can't even come home to a clean house. Useless! Why did I ever pick you?"

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm doing it now. Don't worry about dinner either. I'll do it. Just go sit down and relax." Jimin replied. He held back tears. He didn't want to be called pathetic for not being able to man up and handle his words. He was right after all. Jimin had been home all day and hadn't cleaned a single thing. He deserved this treatment.

-

I began to believe every single word you would tell me. Everything. You hit me to teach me a lesson. I wouldn't learn otherwise. You hit me because you loved me and wanted what was best for me. To me pain meant love. It was as if I was brainwashed.

When things got really bad I thought back on all the dates we used to go to. When we were still in high school. I remember you bringing me around to all your friends and proudly saying I was yours. At the time I thought it was sweet. I thought that it was a privilege but as the years went by I began to feel like an object. But that was okay because that meant I belonged to you. I was yours and only yours.

But you weren't just mine. I remember when you started to take more hours at work. I'd never questioned why you were coming home late. I trusted you. Why would you be lying about working overtime? It just didn't make sense to me.

—

"What the fuck is this?" Jimin asked tossing the lipstick stained shirt at his boyfriend. Taemin caught it staring blankly at it. "Explain! Why the fuck is there lipstick on your shirt? What have you actually been doing when you say you're doing over time?" Jimin didn't yell often. He was always scared to but he couldn't hold back this time.

Taemin scoffed standing up from his positioning the couch. "Giving you a test of your own medicine." The younger looked at him flabbergasted.

"My own-" He panted his eyes tearing up. His fist clenched, nails digging into his palms. "Your kidding right?" He chuckled humorlessly. "Taemin you can't possible be serious!" Jimin was getting more agitated as the minutes passed. "I've never cheated on you! This is bullshit-" he was cut off by a hard slap that sent him flying to the floor.

"I let it slid at first but quit cursing at me. It's unattractive."Taemin said throw his teeth as he stood over the man's body. "I know you're a dirty little slut. I'm just showing you my perspective." He sneered. He watched his cowering boyfriend hold his cheek where his hand had made contact with. It was already a bright fire red. Tears were running down his face making Taemin feel sick.

"I don't want to be with you anymore."

Taemin smirked. "Where are you gonna go? Nobody wants you. You have no friends. Your family doesn't even want you around."

"That's not true! My family loves me!"

"If that was true why haven't they came to visit you? They move houses right as we moved away to make sure you wouldn't be able to go crawling back to them. I'm the only one you have left. Be a little more great full."

"Stop being so pathetic." Taemin walked out the room without a second thought.

—

Why did I continue to stay with you? I'm not even completely sure of the answer to that. Maybe it was the fact that you were the only person I had left in my life. Or maybe it was because I genuinely believed what you said. you thought I was cheating it was only fair that you got to do the same. It possibly could have been the fact that I would be completely lost without you.

You had me wrapped around your finger. I was putty in your hands and you made sure to mold me exactly how you wanted. You installed fear in me. You made me insecure and feel unwanted by everyone except for you.

Congratulations it worked. It worked for years. You said you loved me. I believed it without so much as a hint of doubt.

Until I met him.