You said you loved me

5. Oh baby

That was the beginning of life turning upside down. A complete 180. Both good and bad.

Yoongi was around a lot more after that day. I stopped pushing him away because I truly needed a friend. I needed at least one person in my life that wasn't just an acquaintance and that wasn't you or associated to you. I just need someone. Anyone. And you know what he was the exact person I needed and would need at the time. I truly think that if it hadn't been for him life would still be hell. I wouldn't see you how I see you now. Maybe I wouldn't even be alive now.

We were okay after the choking situation. We just acted like it never happened. Just like every incident that ever happened. I loved you enough to look past all the abuse because you were the one person who 'cared' for me. So why wouldn't I ignore the choking situation.

—

"I love you." Taemin mumbled kissing Jimin's neck. Jimin closed his eyes repeating the same three words. Taemin's hands ran up his partner's leg up until his reached Jimin's ass cupping and squeezing it. Jimin slightly flinches, Taemin has a habit of being rough.

"I want you so bad." He said breathlessly. Jimin could feel his hot breath in his neck causing him to close his eyes. "Will you be a good boy for me?" Jimin could only nod. He felt Taemin lift himself so he could be on top.

—

You know I don't know if I regret what happened next in our life. I don't know if I regret it ever happened or if I just regret you being around. I just know that it left me with a hole in my heart that don't think I'll ever be able to fill. This was how you broke me. This is what led to all of this happening. This is what made me finally see you as the monster you really are.

—

"Taemin." Jimin slowly approached the male. His hands behind his back holding the little objects. His heart was pounding heavily in his chest.

Taemin looked up from the tv to see his fiancée staring at him nervously. "What?" He asked trailing off. He stared at the slightly shorter male with squinting eyes.

Jimin bit his bottom lip, took a deep breath, and reached his hand out to place the object into Taemin's hand. Taemin softly gasps looking up at Jimin with big round innocent eyes. "You're-"

—

A baby. We had made a baby. A little human. Half yours. Half mine. Ours.

Now I'm not gonna lie. You were amazing when you found out. You had been so happy. So supportive. You had picked me up and spun me around out of pure joy when you heard the news. It was amazing. The smile on your face couldn't be knocked off with a sledge hammer. You kissed me telling me you loved me and that you loved our baby already. That you couldn't wait for him to be born.

At the time I just couldn't wait to finally hold him in my arms either. I couldn't wait to raise him with you. I was so happy. Do you remember that feeling? Do you remember being happy about the baby? Or was it all just some big act? Because now looking back at the memory after knowing what I know now, after living what I lived, I'm not so sure you genuinely were happy. You deserve an Oscar for that act. But let's not skip ahead. I want you to remember everything from my point of view. I want you to know what I felt because of you. What you made me endure. If there is any part of you that is human I hope you feel immensely guilty for what you did.

I told Yoongi a little after I told you. He was the second person to know. He could see the excitement radiating off of me. He held me tightly in his arms. Told me how happy he was for me. I know it's true because that is the only thing he's ever wanted for me.

—

Yoongi rocked them back and forward. "I'm so happy. You have no idea." Jimin said pulling away. The smile on his face looking almost painful. The older smiled softly in return. "This is amazing. You're going to be the best parent ever."

"Thank you. I must admit I'm nervous."

Yoongi hummed leaning against the locker room door. "I think every parent is before their child is born. But trust me I know for certain that baby," he points to Jimin's flat stomach "will grow up with the best life. I'm sure you and Taemin will make sure of that."

Jimin's smile faltered just just a moment. Maybe this was what would make Taemin change. Maybe this would stop the violence.

—

I was so stupid to think you would change for our baby. God. I was so so stupid. You're a monster and I wish so badly that I had realized that sooner. But I didn't. Now I have to live with the consequences.