Cigarettes [Bennoda] ✔

Chapter 73

Mike's POV

"Maxey! How is my baby girl today?" I asked as I sat down with Max. "Daddy is helping auntie Kat, well momma Kat I guess. Anyway, dad's helping her pack right now, but he'll be here later to see you I'm sure." This was about a week after she was born. She had gained a few ounces and I was happy about that. She was so tiny and fragile and I wanted her to start gaining more weight and getting stronger so we could hold her finally. It was hell seeing her every day, but not getting to hold her and just barely touch her through the glass. They said she would need to be at least four pounds before we could even consider taking her home.

She was awake when I showed up this day to see her, and looking around a little. The doctors said that her heart rate hadn't spiked as much over the night as it had been, which was good. The beeping always scared the fuck out of me, and I was happy to hear that it wasn't really happening anymore.

I felt like things were going good, until a nurse gave me some news that I would've been better off not hearing.

"I need to update you on something we found wrong with Max last night. Would you like me to wait until Chester gets here? Or tell you now?" She asked. "Um... You can go ahead and tell me now I suppose... I'll just tell him myself." I said. "Well... Max has some bleeding on the brain... in about ten minutes we're going to get some doctors in here and see what we can do about it." She said. I took a deep breath and raised my eyebrows.

"Um... holy shit." I said. "Will she be okay? Do babies die from that kind of thing?" I asked. "Some don't make it. We have a good feeling about her... but there's always that possibility..." She said. I nodded slowly and looked away. "Um... okay. I'm gonna step out for a second." I said as I got out of my chair and went outside to lean on the big window sill like I always did when I was worried about her.

I just stood there for a few minutes before calling Chester.

"Hey, Mike." He said when he picked up. Tears started to fall then out of nowhere. "Hey, baby..." I said, sniffling. "Hey... what's wrong?" He asked. "Max... she has some bleeding on her brain, and they told me that some babies die from that... I'm scared, Ches. Everyday it's always something new to worry and stress about." I said, crying.

"Hey... hey. Calm down, Mike. I know it's scary... I'm scared too... but we gotta keep it together... I'll be there in a few, babe. Okay?" He said. "Yeah... yeah." I said. "Okay. Bye. I love you." "I love you too." He hung up and was there twenty minutes later. He stood beside me by the window and put his arms around me. I turned to him and put mine around him as well.

"We're gonna be okay." He whispered. I just nodded.

"You're definitely the better parent already. You're always so calm and collected when it comes to her. I'm a mess." I said after a few minutes. "That doesn't make me the better parent though. I'm collected on the outside, but trust me... I'm a bit of a mess on the inside. I just try and act calm to keep you more calm. We can't both be a mess. One of us has to keep the other in line to balance us out." He said. "You're so smart, too. What the hell." I said. He chuckled and looked up at me with a smile. I smiled back and put my forehead to his.

"I'm really, really, really scared though, Chester." I said. "I know, Mike. I am too. We just have to trust that the doctors know what they're doing, and trust that Max is a fighter. You said it yourself, she's got Shinoda and Bennington blood in her. She's gotta make it." He said. "You're right." I said.

"We just have to take this one day at a time. It's not like it's gonna get easier either. We've got this job for the rest of our lives now, you know?" He said. I sighed and nodded. "I know... I just wanna get past this part. Where we aren't sure if we'll ever get to take her home. If we hold her and finally get to take her home... I feel like I'll just feel so much better." I said. "Yeah me too."