Cigarettes [Bennoda] ✔

Chapter 81

I'm sorry this chapter is really boring. It's pretty much just a recap of the months after the incident in the last chapter told of each of the boys' point of views.

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Chester's POV
I didn't go back to the drugs. I wanted to, but knew I couldn't. I had a husband and a six month old. I could not fuck up the life I had. It was so hard at first, with the withdrawals and all. When I was first on drugs, the withdrawals I had when I quit weren't near as they were this second time. I felt so miserable. It went from feeling so dizzy and sick and having some trouble concentrating, to the worst aches in my muscles I've ever felt, and then lastly to suicidal thoughts. Mike was there for me though. I knew he was trying his hardest to be as supportive as he could. I knew he was still a little ticked off at me, but he wouldn't say anything.

After almost a week, the withdrawals stopped. The cravings came and went for few months after that.

Mike and I were slowly becoming more and more intimate again. I tried to just focus on him and not think about anything else. Some days I still didn't want him to touch me at all and when he'd notice he understood and was patient with me. I know that some days he'd get frustrated with me, and that made me feel bad, but I didn't know what to do.

There was still this unspoken tension in the house and I wasn't sure if it would ever go away. Even when we had a fun, happy day, there was still that tense, awkward feeling deep down that I know both of us felt.

We both kept saying how we wanted everything to go back to the way it was, but I think we both knew that there was no way things would go back to the way they were. To much dumb shit had happened to us for it to just go back to normal. He wasn't the same musician I had fell in love with, I wasn't the same kid who had fallen so head over heels for him before I was even sixteen.

Mike's POV
Was part of me still mad that I had to spend half a million to get my husband out of jail for drugs? Yes, but in the end, all that mattered was the fact that he was alive. It could've been so much worse. He could've overdosed, hell he could've been a part of some sketchy drug selling and got hurt.

When he was going through withdrawals, that week was so hard. I hated seeing him in pain like that. All I could do was be there for him and make sure he knew that I cared and was worried.

After that, he told me he still had cravings for the coke and that worried me. He didn't go back to them though. He was strong and fought through all of that.

We were becoming more and more intimate again. I was happy about that. He started to become more and more trusting again and started to enjoy it again. Of course there were those days when he didn't even want me touching him, but that was okay.

I knew things weren't going back to the way they were though. It was clear that things wouldn't. We loved eachother, but too much had happened for it to go back to normal. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to live with the tension in the house anymore, but I didn't want to live not married to Chester.

I just kept trying to live my life as happy as I could be. Our baby girl's first birthday was coming up very soon, so I knew that at least that day would be amazing and full of love. I just wished everyday could be like that.