Part 14: A Step Backwards

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Emma's pov

I walked into the cold white room unsure of what I was about to see. I felt horrible. I was just starting to be happy and the world decided that I couldn't. Everything crashed down on me that day. I didn't know if I was going to be ok after this. Not even Ashton could fix me anymore. I was gone.

"Daddy?' I whispered pulling the curtain away.

"In here Emma." He replied in a weak voice.

He was laying down on white sheets. His skin tone almost matched. A couple hours ago he was fine. I didn't understand what was happening.

I pulled up a chair next to him and I grabbed his hand. I was trying really hard not to cry.

"I should have told you. I didn't think it was this bad. I'm sorry sweetie." He said tears building up in his eyes.

"Are you going to be ok?"

"For a while." He replied. Which was good. I'd have more time with him.

"The cancer is strong but I can fight it. Don't worry." He managed to smile a little, but I knew he was in pain. I was hurting too. The people I loved were leaving and I could do nothing to stop it.

My dad fell asleep and I walked out to the lobby where Ashton was waiting. He stood up as soon as he saw me.

"Hey how is everything?"

"Um, he's ok for now." I said looking down at my shoes.

He pulled me into a hug.

"I am so sorry."

"It's not your fault." I replied. It wasn't anyone's fault. And that's what made me angry. I couldn't blame anyone. It was just how things were meant to be played out and I hated that I couldn't do anything to change it. I was frozen, forced to see all the bad things happen around me.

"I can stay here with you if you want." He said as he pulled away from me.

"No you need to rest for tomorrow. Go home."

"All I'm going to do tomorrow is sit in a bus all day. I'll sleep then."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah come on." He pulled me back into him.

We stayed like that for a while without saying anything. My mind was racing so if he did say anything I didn't hear it. I looked around at the bare white walls and the sad people and I remembered how much I hated hospitals. When Cody was sick this was where I would spend half of my week. I was familiar with them, but I hated every minute I was inside or even near one. Nothing good has ever happened to me at a hospital.

Ashton's pov

I looked at her and she no longer had the same look in her eyes. She didn't stand the same. She didn't smile the same. I felt horrible for having to leave. My stomach was in knots and my heart physically hurt. I was leaving her like this. Just when we had both accepted it, the rest of her world came crashing down and I wouldn't be here for her.

I looked at the clock and it read 6:47. The bus was going to pick me up last and I knew I'd be getting a call any second now. I looked back at Emma and she had her eyes on her dad, watching his chest rise and fall as if it could stop any second. Suddenly my phone vibrated. I went out into the hallway tp pick it up.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"ARE YOU READY TO ROCK AND ROLL?" Michael yelled in to my ear.

"Michael please tell me you guys are running late like we always do."

"Of course we are, but we'll be there in about half an hour. Why?"

"I'm at the hospital with Emma." I replied trying to not show any emotion in my voice.

"Do you need me time? I think I can buy you time. I just need to find something to break....ummm.."

"Thanks Mikey." I smiled.

"No problem. Now excuse me. I have to go pick on Luke and find his suitcase."

"Bye Mikey."

"See ya later."

I hung up and when I turned around Emma was leaning against the door frame watching me.

"You have to leave soon huh?" She asked walking over to me.

"Michael is working on buying us another 30 minutes." I chuckled.

"You can leave if you need to. I mean there's nothing much else for you to do here."

"I don't have much of a choice do I?" I shrugged.

"You have to leave. I made peace with it." She shrugged back.

"But you'll wait for me? You'll still love me when I come back?"

"I don't have much of a choice do I?" She laughed softly.

"No. I guess not. Just please let me come back to this Emma. I don't want to go looking for her again. I need you when I come back."

"I promise." She replied. A weight came off my shoulders. I pulled her into me and I wrapped my arms around her for what would be the last time in a long time.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too, Irwin." She whispered back.

"Come on." Keeping my arm around her, we walked to the parking lot and with each step my heart felt emptier and emptier. I wanted to stop and turn around back into the room where I could be with her and hold her so that she wouldn't feel so alone. I couldn't do that though and it killed me. I wasn't going to be there for her when she needed it most.

Emma's pov

I looked up at him as we walked out and I didn't know what to think. His eyes were never still, always wandering. I wonder if he was as worried as I was. We reached the automatic doors of the hosptal and stepped outside.

He let go of me and turned grabbing both of my hands intertwining his finger through mine. I didn't know what was going to happen now. Whether or not I was suppose to say something or do something. He looked at me with that look. The same look he had when he played.

"Well this is it."

I just nodded, not knowing what else to say.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He kissed me quickly, sending sparks throughout my body. But just as quickly as they came he pulled away. He flashed me a smile before turning around and getting into his car. He turned it on and the loud engine broke my heart. I wouldn't be hearing that anymore. He backed up and pulled up next to me.

"Did I mention I love you."

I laughed softly. Even when I'm breaking he managed to put a smile on my face.

"See you later Irwin."

"See you later Em."

He pulled out of the parking lot and disappeared down the road. Knowing the fact that he wouldn't be back anytime soon made me terrified. He was gone. Luckily, across the street the bright sign of a liquor store flickered, catching my attention. The bell chimed, letting the cashier know I walked in. I walked up to the desk and ordered my favorite ones. I walked out taking them out of the plastic bag. I looked down the street again longing for the sound of his car to come back. I knew that I wouldn't hear it so I gave in. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, letting it calm me down.

It was hard finding a serious picture of Ashton because he smiles in every single picture lol I love this boy.

Do you guys even like this story anymore? Lol please let me know cuz I'm probably speaking to no one and annoying everybody

:) don't hesitate to comment or vote. Thanks guys.

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