Problems

Worries

Tw: self deprecating thoughts and cutting, slight body shame.

Roman's POV

They make their way to Virgil and Patton's room. As they entered Roman was hit with a wave of guilt. If he hadn't played that prank then Patton would be in his room and Logan would be the one sharing with Virgil. He didn't really mind it that much, he quite enjoyed the late night chats that they had, and Logan wasn't too bad looking himself *wink wink*. No that wasn't the problem, the problem was that it was a reminder. A reminder of how much of a useless screwup he really was. A reminder the fact that he couldn't even make friends without hurting someone.

"Roman what do you think about golden retrievers?" He realised that the conversation had continued on without him. When he didn't respond everyone started staring at him, concerned.

"They are superb, why would any dog be anything less?" Roman relaxed as the attention was turned away. Not that he didn't love attention but he hated when that attention was because people were worrying about him. He looked at the others and noticed that Virgil was still looking at him. Their eyes met and there was a brief, but intense staring contest. Virgil blinked first then looked away, favoring instead to tune back into Patton and Logan's conversation about dogs.

His thoughts drifted off. Left to his own devices the thoughts started to creep back in. 'They only became your friends because they pity you. They laugh at how broken you are.' The voices morphed into those of the boys around him. 'You would be beautiful if you weren't so fat.' That was Logan's voice. Then came Patton's. 'You made me cry, you hurt me, and you think that a couple of words will change that? I'm never forgiving you, you don't deserve it. You're so fat and ugly that you don't deserve anyone's love or forgiveness!'

Roman mentally braced himself for the last of the three. He started quiet but his voice gained volume as he continued. 'You really think they you're something special. You're just a worthless piece of garbage. I can see it. Patton can see it. Logan can see it. Even Pancini can see it. Why else would you not have an personal appointment. You're to far broken for them to even try. Why are you even trying. Give into the urge.' Many voices joined his. 'Give into the urge. Do it. Let go!' The voices chanted in his head so loud Roman barely heard as he excused himself to his room.

Virgil's POV

Roman was a bit out of it the moment we stepped into the bedroom. He was staring of into space and took way to long to answer the simple question that Patton put towards him. Something was wrong. Virgil didn't realise he was staring until a staring contest was initiated. Roman obviously won since Virgil had been staring before and his eyes were obviously tired. He turned to Patton and Logan, who were having quite an interesting conversation about dogs, but his focus didn't stay there for long. Roman was starting of into space. That wasn't really what got his attention it was Roman's expression. It wasn't peaceful, but hurt, submissive, like someone was insulting him and he accepted that what they said was true.

Roman flinched, then got up, mumbling an 'excuse  me' as he bolted out of the room.

Virgil met Logan's eyes as Patton started off on another tangent about how cute dogs could be. They had seen this behavior before.

'Go to him. I'm keep Patton occupied.' Logan mouthed.

Virgil got up, not even excusing himself as he followed where Roman had gone.

He checked every room along that hall, the kitchen, the main bathroom, the gym, he was nowhere to be found. Virgil finally checked Roman and Logan's room. He was about to leave when he heard something in the bathroom. He rushed thru the door to see Roman. Roman was sitting in the  floor with a razor gripped tightly in his hand. He was drawing it frantically across his already bloodied arms. Virgil rushed forward, grabbing Roman's hands, the only place on his exposed arms were there wasn't cuts.

"Roman, Roman look at me! Drop the razor. You don't need it. I'm gonna get you cleaned up, you got that." Roman's grip loosened on the razor and it fell to the tiles with a loud clanging. Virgil lead Roman over to the sink, kicking the razor as far away from Roman as possible in the process. Virgil turned on the water placing Roman's arms under it before opening up the medical cabinet and pulling out the bandages. Logan always kept them stocked, just in case something like this happened. Virgil took a strip of the bandages and wet it down, using it to wash off Roman's arms. The right arm was covered in random cuts, on the left arm there was a single word scratched into the skin. 'Broken.'

Virgil hissed under his breath as he started to take care of his wounds. He looked up at Roman to see the usually proud boy caving in on himself.

"Roman look at me." Roman raised his head slightly so that he was looking at Virgil's chin instead of his own lap. "You're not broken."

"Yes I am! Look at me. I can't even make friends without permanently scaring someone."

"Permanently scaring someone?"

"Yes! You said it yourself, Patton had a panic attack BECAUSE OF ME."

"A panic attack is far from permanently scaring someone. That's not the only reason, is it?"

"Don't try to say I'm not broken! I'm to broken for anyone to even attempt to fix!"

"What do you mean by- oh is this about how you haven't had a personal therapy session with Pancini yet? That just means that you're not that messed up, and he isn't worrying that you won't get better. It's helped with multiple cases where therapy sessions actually worsened their problems by reminding them that they're not normal."

"Oh, really? Now I feel like some overdramatic diva who acts before thinking."

"Princy, I hate to break it to you but, you are an overdramatic diva who acts without thinking."

"I guess I just feel bad now. I've hurt myself and caused everyone to worry."

"Actually, if you want no-one had to know about this. I mean Pancini will have to know, and Logan already guessed what was happening, but other than that this can disappear."

"Really? A thousand thank yous to you. I really am sorry about this, I overreacted and listened to the evils in my head."

"It fine, sometimes they can take you unawares but the most important thing is to reach out. No-one can fight these demons alone. I'd rather myself be a little inconvenienced now than find you passed out in a pool of your own blood like Logan found me."

"Wait a minute you..."

"Yea, I was a pretty messed up kid when I first came. Anyways Logan and Patton will be worrying so we better get back."

Roman angst yay! Next chapter might be a filler chapter or it might be foreshadowing for what is going to happen next. You'll never know.