MC's Nomad (Broken Demons MC #5)

Chapter 14 - Evie

A/N: Hello lovelies, as promised to @oleelaura2 here is a double update for today. I hope you're enjoying it so far xxx

"So how have things been Evie? Still working on some self defence with Scarlett?" Dr Ashton asks as we begin our session

"I'm trying but Scarlett says when I punch I'm not putting my body into it, I need to put my whole weight behind it." I reply

"Well it will come with practice, do you think it's making you more comfortable at home knowing you could defend yourself?" She asks

"I don't know, but I'm leaving the house every day and my brother is home less and less at night, but I've only had two panics since I last saw you."

"Well you're definitely making progress, I'm very happy with how you're doing. Is there anything specific you would like to discuss today?" She asks and I nod

"Two things actually, but first, my brother. I want to help him get passed his guilt. Scarlett and Reaper have both been pissed with the way he's spoken to me but I know it's guilt. How can I help him move on?" I ask

"See it from his side, if your brother walked home because you borrowed the car and then you got a police officer on your door to get you to the hospital before he died, would you feel guilty?" She asks

"They told him I was going to die? No one told me that." I gasp

"I'm not going to break patient confidentiality, but I totally am. I've seen Socket for sessions a few times, I had to push him with his stubbornness, but he said if he hadn't been trying to impress 'some slutty cheerleader' then you wouldn't have gone through this. He said he wasn't there to know exactly what happened but what you told the police still lingers in his mind." I still remember that, Socket and Cordelia sat in my hospital room as I told the police every detail of the four men who kidnapped me, drove me into the woods, raped me, then tried to kill me. Apparently a group of hikers climbing up for the sunrise interrupted the murder me part and the men fled. All these years later and the police still have no idea who the men were, but Socket and I know.

"Are you still with me Evie?" Dr Ashton asks as I realise I had drifted off.

"Sorry." I reply. We discuss how I can help Socket for a while, but I don't know if his stubborn ass will accept my help.

"What was the other thing you wanted to discuss?" Dr Ashton asks

"Reaper, the man who brought me here last week, Indigo thinks I have a crush on him, but how can I have a crush on a man when I'm scared of all men?" I ask confused

"Well how do you feel about Reaper?"

"He scares me, because he's a man. But I haven't seen him in a week because I've been with Scarlett and the other girls at my brothers club and I miss him. But how can I miss him if whenever he was around I was locked in my bedroom? There's just something about him, he's been really patient with me and even though I haven't told him what happened he seems to understand better than my brother."

"Well a lot of people go through trauma similar to yours and are able to establish relationships in the future, you could certainly try slowly. If this Reaper is patient with you. I can help you work through your feelings, you could even bring Reaper with you so I can help you talk to him." Dr Ashton suggests. We continue to talk through my confusion, maybe I could like Reaper, even with my fears.

"I want you to try something before our next session. Try to touch him." I look at her fear clearly written on my face

"Not in a sexual way, in a friendly way. Whether it be his hand, his shoulder over his shirt, it doesn't have to be much, it doesn't have to be skin to skin. Just try it, if you can't do it you can't and that is fine, but see if you can and let me know how it goes and we'll take it from there." She says as she finishes our session.

I did it, I touched his hand. He's the first man I've touched in over five years and I did it! The warmth of his skin is something I can't describe, I liked it. I don't know if I can do it again but the fact I did it is huge.

But it's too much to expect him to wait for me, I may have just touched his hand but what if I can never kiss him? Or even more than that? He says he wants to try but eventually he's bound to get frustrated and leave, men have their needs and I can't expect him to go without just because of my past.

We finish lunch and climb into the truck, he puts the radio on and I remove my headphones. As we cruise down the road he holds his hand out

"If you can't it's fine, but it's there if you want to." He says looking straight ahead like it's nothing. I hesitate but then I lift my hand up and gently rest it on top of his, He interlaces our fingers, but doesn't hold my hand tightly, I know I can let go when I need to. He rests our hands on the console as he drives and I look out of the window.

I'm touching him again and I don't feel scared, I just feel... warm. I feel warm from his touch. My whole body is heated just from this little contact. For the first time in five years I feel, calm. I'm alone with a man in a truck holding his hand and I'm not shaking with fear. Dr Ashton won't believe me when I tell her!

"Are you ok?" He asks

"I.. I am, I'm ok." I smile as I look down at our hands

"Thank you." I say as I look up to him and he smiles as he looks from the road to me and back.

The only time I let go of his hand was when we pulled up at my house and got out of the truck, he offered me his hand again as we walked up to the front door and I took it as we got inside.

"Do you want to try watching another movie? I'll try and stay awake this time." He laughs as he points towards the living room with his free hand

"Ok." I reply as we walk hand in hand and I sit beside him on the couch.

"You have no idea how big this is for me." I say as I lift our hands up and put them back down on the couch.

"Well you're doing great." He smiles as we settle down to watch the movie.

"How about lunch tomorrow? After your work out with Scarlett." He says as we hover by the front door, I don't want him to go because I'm so excited that I can touch him, I never want to let go

"Ok" I smile. He lets go of my hand and I suddenly feel cold again

"I want to try something, but you can say no." He says and I feel the fear creeping back up

"I'm going to hold my arms up, do you want to try to hug me?" He asks as he holds his arms out either side of him. This is so stupid, a normal girl wouldn't be scared of wrapping their arms around him, the old me would be dragging him to my bedroom. I nod as I step forward closer to him. I rest my head on his chest as I bring one arm up and rest my hand on his side. I feel his hard body pressed against mine and again it feels warm, a warmth I've never felt before spreads through my body and settles with a strange feeling low in my stomach. His masculine scent surrounds me and I can hear the steady thump of his heart. I bring my other arm up and wrap around him tightly

"I'm going to lower my arms, but I'll let go whenever you say." He says softly and I nod against his chest as his arms wrap around my body. I'm scared, I am. He could refuse to let go, he could easily over power me, but deep down I know he won't. Reaper will not hurt me, I know it. As his warmth surrounds me any ounce of fear I have seems to just melt away and I actually feel safe.

His masculine scent is intoxicating as I bury my face in his chest and I feel the solid muscles under his shirt. Instead of being scared in the clutches of a man I feel safe, I feel he will protect me from anything. He isn't an evil man he is a protector, I feel so differently about him now than I did this morning, I'm not scared.

"I should go, but I'll see you tomorrow." He says as he lets go of me and steps back

"Tomorrow." I smile as I close the door behind him and watch through the window as he rides off.