TRY AGAIN :: ᴊᴀᴇʜʏᴜɴ | ɴᴄᴛ

9

Why am I alone?
Among all the people surrounding me
Why am I alone?
I’m all alone, I need someone
I need someone right now

I need somebody// Day6

.

9th April 1951
Jaehyun's thoughts,
narration in first person.

HAVE YOU ever lost someone?

Have you ever thought about going to the same place they are by now?

Or

have you ever had the tentation to become the lost one?

Do you really think your dear ones would think of going to where you would be by now?

Well, I thought about both.

I think I... desired both.

Although I already know that life is unfair, I can't help but to be shocked by how many injustices it can make you go through.

Since I was little, I never saw death as an enemy.
Since I was little, I never saw people's lives taken away as a serious loss.

One day we would meet anyways.

For me these were like a journey,
a long and awaited journey to a Neverland on which you can't have access if not by giving up on your human form, on your body.
A new world were those who have been good in life, will go to the bright and happy side and the ones who have been bad, end up in the dark and sorrowful one.

I was really a strange kid, back then.

But now?

Now, I can't even recognize myself anymore.

My elders weren't kidding when they said that life experiences are made to change you completely.
Without even realizing, year after year, numerous events would eventually shape you into the person you are today:
and whether you like it or not, you'll surely look back at the past and miss your old self.

Everyone misses their old self at a certain point

and sometimes you just feel like giving up on everything you've worked hard on, because you just can't keep up with this new you and soon you realize that you're not actually living.

You're just surviving.

But to be honest, I don't want to feel like that as well.

I want to try again.

My heart desire is to try again.

I want to be born again,
so that I can pay the high price of my mistakes and live a life full of satisfaction and greatness.

I want to give,
I want to love,
I want to improve.

So mum, dad, Reira, Taeyong,
whosoever is following my thoughts right now:

even if we have to go around a long way, I will still feel the same.

We'll be alright,
I want to try again.

unedited.

Author note:
The chapter was cut short on purpose.