Outta My Limit | Michael Clifford

Chapter Twenty Two - Michael

That night Michael didn't sleep, everything Felicity told him circulated through his mind. When he tried to sleep her words would dash back to him. It terrified him so much he didn't want to go to sleep, too scared that the image of her hanging from the rafter would haunt his dreams and turn them to nightmares.

"I tied a rope around my neck and just, dropped."

Thinking of her voice as she spoke sent a shiver down his spine. Looking at Felicity you never would guess how bad she's had it, you wouldn't be able to tell she once felt so low that she wanted to end it all. Michael couldn't help but admire her strength.

Somehow throughout the night he found himself sitting on the couch of the tour bus as it drove to the next state they were due to perform in. He just sat there, thinking. Over thinking. Eventually his thoughts became too much and needed a distraction so he went to Twitter to see the fans reactions to their recent EP drop.

He followed and tweeted some fans to get his mind off Felicity's past but he just couldn't. How she managed to pull through the lose of her entire family and her attempted suicide he would never know but he was glad she did. It was funny how important she had become to him in such a short amount of time.

Michael knew that thoughts of suicide were common in most people, when things get tough people look to drastic options. He would lying if he said the thoughts never crossed his mind on the days when everything seemed like it was going downhill, but it was never enough to make him actually do it. He couldn't even begin to contemplate how low Felicity must have been feeling to do that to herself. He could feel his heart break at the thought. He was never one to act like this, most of the time on tour it was hook up and move on, but with Felicity he could imagine a future. A future that was so vivid it scared him, they weren't even together.

"Fuck." Michael whispered to himself, he began thinking of how badly he treated her at the beginning of the tour, although their hostility towards one another didn't last very long he still hated that it even happened at all. Felicity was one of the best people he had ever met and he was prepared to spend forever finding ways to thank her for giving him a chance after his less than acceptable first impression.

He wanted to know everything about her, whether it was good or bad but thought her not being here tore him apart. Sighing to himself, Michael couldn't help but realise how he had fallen for her, and he'd fallen hard and fast. They had yet to even kiss, and boy did he want nothing more than to kiss her, but he was happy just being around here.

"What has you up?" Michael cocked his head up to see Matt sitting down on the floor across from him. Matt had a really weird thing about sitting on the floor, if he was with just one other person he would always sit on the floor but if he was with a group he went out of his way to get a seat. Michael didn't bother questioning it.

When he saw it was Matt in front of him he wanted to jump off the couch and pull the older boy in a hug. Matt had no idea how thankful Michael was that he was there in time to save Felicity from the rope around her neck, and that he stayed around to save her from herself.

He was glad to see Matt because he knew whoever was sat in front of him would want to talk and he would just rather it not be one of his bandmates at that time.

"Just thinking." Michael replied, his voice was a low and worn out whisper making it obvious that he was exhausted.

"About?" Matt spurred him on, he could telling something was bothering the boy and wanted to help.

"Why was I such a dick to Felicity? Why didn't I realise how amazing she is at the start of this tour? Why did I waste so much time being stupid instead of getting to know her? Why did I-" Michael began to bombard Matt with questions that were seemingly rhetorical because both of them there was no answer to any of the questions.