Canem Story Time with Prince

If I was your girlfriend, would you tell me?

Can

I am meeting Sanem to take her to lunch. As I pass by Leyla's office, I can see Sanem is there talking to her and Guliz.

I can hear the women laughing and talking animatedly through the glass. When I knock, it suddenly becomes silent and they look at me like they were caught doing something they shouldn't. I wonder what they were talking about that they didn't want me to hear. Sanem stands with a wide smile. "Can! You're here!" She comes close to me, stands up on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around my neck for a quick hug. She slyly presses her lips against my cheek on the side where Leyla and Guliz can't see before lowering herself and stepping away from my body. I love when she does things like that... When she gives me affection even though she's afraid that someone will see. I think it's brave. But I think everything she does is brave. "I am almost ready," says shyly, not making eye contact, "Let me just get my purse." She runs around me to go to her work area. Even though she's brave, she's still shy about it. And I love that too. I love everything about her.

She's back quickly, and we wish Leyla and Guliz easy work and head to the garage. Once we are all alone and have driven a couple of blocks away, I feel it's safe to broach the topic of my curiosity. "Sanem, what were you ladies talking about before I arrived? You suddenly became so quiet after I knocked."

Her eyes grow wide and she blushes. She looks down at her lap and shakes her head to dismiss the topic. "It was nothing, Can. You know, just girl talk."

I don't like the idea of her not feeling comfortable telling me anything. I want to know everything about her. I don't want there to be any part of her that she is not willing to share with me. I feel irrationally jealous of the ladies who are her trusted friends. I know that she would tell them anything without hesitation. Why does it have to be different with me?

Sanem is looking at me inquisitively, trying to figure out what I'm thinking. "Can? What are you thinking about?"

"I don't know if I am just being silly. I don't know if you will understand."

"Why don't you tell me, and we will figure it out together? I don't want you to keep things from me, Can." She's looking at me now and her eyes are sincere.

"That's what I was thinking about. Sanem, are you embarrassed to tell me what you were talking about? I don't want there to be any part of you that other people know better than I do. Does that sound ridiculous?"

"I understand you, Can. But I think it impossible for you to know every part of me better than everyone else. As it is impossible for me to know every part of you better than anyone else." She turns her body in her seat to face me, I know she wants to be able to read my face better. She can read me better than anyone.

"I understand that, but I mean for example what you were talking about with your sister and Guliz. Why can't you tell me? There's a part of you that exists and you won't let me in. And I want you know every part of your mind. I love you so much that I need to know everything that goes on in your beautiful head."

"Do you tell me everything that goes on your head? There are some things that I think in my mind that I never share with anybody. I think all of us have that part of ourselves that we keep secret, don't you?"

"What you are saying is true, Sanem. But I don't want it to be true about you and me. Even something that is so private that you don't feel like you tell anyone, I want you to feel like you can tell me. I want to know the deepest, darkest corners of your soul. Can't you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I understand you." She's quiet for a moment, looking out the window. "You really want to know what we were talking about before you came?" she says, turning to look at me.

"Yes, I really want to know. Tell me what made you look away and blush the way you did when I asked you about it."

"Guliz was teasing me about you..."

"What exactly was she teasing you about?"

"Your beard..."

"My beard? What about my beard? This is getting very interesting." I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye and I can see that she is uncomfortable and she doesn't want to tell me. That only makes me want to know more. I reach over and take her hand and kiss it before I flatten her palm against my thigh and cover it with my own. "Please, Sanem. Tell me what has you blushing so beautifully. I have to know now."

The words tumble out of her before she can stop them, "She was teasing me about kissing you with your beard. Asking if I can find your lips. She was joking, you know...it was silly..." she said with a nervous laugh. "And about how it feels when you kiss me." Her eyes can't meet mine now, and she looks out the window again. I squeeze her hand in mine where it rests on my leg to encourage her.

"What did you say?"

"I told her to mind her own business!" she insists loudly. When she continues, it's a whisper, "But then I told her that I've never felt anything more magical than your kiss and even though our first kiss happened in the dark, we had no problem finding each other's lips--like we were attracted to each other by some powerful unseen force. And your beard... the feel of your beard against my face, and the way I can still feel it and see evidence of your kiss on my skin hours later--it's my favorite feeling in the world." That last part she said with her eyes locked on mine.

I can't help myself; I have to kiss her immediately, so I pull over and I take her face in my hands and kiss her soundly. She whimpers softly when I suck her bottom lip into my mouth and she brings her hand up to stroke my beard. I pull back and smooth her hair with both hands. Her eyes are still closed and her plump lips are turned up in a slight smile. She opens her eyes slowly and her eyes are dazed. She pulls her hand forward on my face and traces my lips with her thumb. My heart is beating wildly in my chest with the love I feel for her. "Thank you for telling me. Are you OK?"

"Yes, I am actually really OK. I like that you know how your kiss makes me feel. I mean, I know you know I like it when you kiss me because I kiss you back," she says with her trademark mischievous smile. "But I'm glad I told you in words. I want you to know the deepest, darkest corners of my soul, Can. And I want to know yours, too."

"My soul is yours, canim."