The Path to Love

Chapter 42 - Sam's POV

The knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. I got up from my favourite spot in the house and walked over to the door, opening it.

Xavier was at the door. "Um, hi. What are you doing here?" I asked him. He was literally just with Hunter like a half hour ago.

"I came to talk to you. Can I come in?"

"Sure," I replied. I stepped aside to make room for him. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Is everything okay?" I asked him. He looked kind of worried, like he had something to say but he didn't know how.

"No, not really." He replied.

I sat beside him on the couch. "What's going on?"

"Hunter's gone," Xavier said to me.

"Like to school or something?" I replied, confused.

"No, Samantha. He's gone, gone. He just left."

"What do you mean he left? Where is he?!"

"I'm so sorry, Samantha. He just got on a plane and left."

"When is he coming back? He'll be back for prom and graduation, right?"

"No, Sam. No, he won't. He has no intentions of coming back." He replied.

"What do you mean, he's not coming back?"

"I think these will explain better than I can." I looked down at his hands and he had two letters. One had my name written on it and the other had Kira or Mae written on it.

My hands started to shake as I took the letters. "What is this?" I asked him.

"His goodbye," Xavier replied.

"No, this is a joke, right? He's just getting back at me, right? He's not actually gone. He'll be back tomorrow, right?" I started to cry. "Xavier, please tell me you're joking."

"I tried to talk him out of it, I really did. He was adamant about leaving. I couldn't change his mind. I tried."

I started to cry harder. "No," I mumbled.

"I'll leave you for an hour or so to read his letter. I'm sorry, Samantha."

He walked out of the room, and I heard the front door close. My hands shook as I started to open the letter.

Dear Sam,

I am so sorry for the pain I caused you. I will never be able to apologize enough for everything that has happened. I tried. I tried so hard to protect you, and I failed. For that, I am so incredibly sorry. I know saying it will never be enough, but you have to know that I never meant to hurt you.

You didn't fail, Hunter. You really didn't. You did everything right and I just kept pushing you away.

You're probably going to be getting this letter from Xavier, please don't hate him. He's just the messenger for me. He's going to be there to help you through whatever you may need, because I can't. He'll be able to protect you better than I ever could and should.

Xavier will never be able to protect me the way you do. You know that, Hunter. Why can't you be here to help me? This is our daughter! She needs both of her parents, Hunter. He won't be there for me the way you were or should be.

I brought you into a dangerous life and I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I never wanted you involved in this life, and if I could take everything back, I would in a heartbeat. I never wanted to put you in this position, ever. There's a reason I didn't tell you about that side of my life, and this is it. I never wanted to lose you, but I already have.

I didn't mind being involved in the gang; I just didn't want our daughter involved in it. I was protecting her, not myself. I wouldn't rewind time though, everything happens for a reason and this was meant to happen to us. I wanted revenge on Novak, and it was oddly satisfying as I stabbed him. I wouldn't admit that to anyone, but he had it coming. You never lost me, ever. I was crazy about you then and I am crazy about you now. It's impossible for you to lose me.

What feels like forever ago now, you told me that if we were to ever sleep together, we would never be able to go back to what we were. I hate to admit it, but you were right. This relationship quickly became something so toxic and draining for the both of us, we tried to make it work and we couldn't. Everyone was expecting us to be this unbeatable couple, but I kept too much from you and you couldn't trust me.

What kind of relationship doesn't have problems though? We were just trying to figure out what we were with the hand we were dealt. Everything that happened, is over now. We could have figured everything out. We really could have.

You and our daughter deserve someone better than me. I thought I could be enough for the both of you, but seeing the pain I have caused you, especially today, I can't be selfish anymore.

You would be the perfect father for our daughter. You know that, and I know that. I didn't mean what I said, I didn't actually want you to leave me, to leave us. We need you, I need you.

This is me protecting you, indefinitely. This is the only way I could think of to protect you forever. That is what I plan to do. To stay away.

Please don't. Please come back, Hunter. Please.

Thank you for everything you have done for me over the last 13 years of my life. Thank you for the greatest gift of all – our daughter.

How is it a gift for you, if you don't get to experience it?

I love you so much, Sam. I am doing this because I love you.

Hunter

I sobbed as I finished the letter. He never listened to me before about staying away from me, so why is he choosing to now? I didn't want this to happen. He was supposed to come over begging for forgiveness, take me to prom, graduate with me, go to college, and be there for the birth of our daughter.

And now, he's not. He made the decision to walk away. I walked upstairs and went into the washroom. I know the stress isn't good for the baby, but my baby daddy just left. I need to mourn the loss.

I looked at myself in the mirror and winced at the sight of myself. I wiped my eyes, splashed water on my face trying to clean my face and fixed my hair.

If he wants to leave, fine. I can't stop him no matter how much I may want to. I plastered a fake smile on my face and walked back out to wait for Xavier. I chose not to read the letter for our daughter. I'll give that to her when she's old enough.

I walked back downstairs and waited. I had a kid on the way to be strong for. It's no longer about me. My daughter is growing up without a father, I refuse to be the reason why she comes early.

He made the choice without asking me about what the best would be for the both of us. He didn't have the courage to ask me if this was the best thing for the three of us. He just acted, and that isn't fair.

I sat back at my window seat and grabbed my belly and my phone. I dialed his cell phone number and waited. "The number you have dialed is no longer in service, please place your call and try again."

He changed his number and left the city? I started to cry all over again.

This isn't love, this is hating, and that isn't fair.

Why did he do this?