Our lives alibis

Chapter 12: Waiting for Santa Claus

3rd year. Christmas vacation.

POV Scorpius

I arrived home yesterday with my father and Harry Potter.

Going on vacation with two teachers is too lucky, as Lily says.

When we parted ways with Albus when he boarded the Hogwarts Express, I had to make an incredible effort not to show my pain in front of the others. To wave the hand with a small, clenched smile. He did the same, and Lily sent me a little kiss in the air.

James did not even turn around.

But anyway Albus knew I was in pain, I had the opportunity to show him my despair many times before the fateful date arrived.

So much so that the subject was almost taboo between us.

So much so that he left with a heavy heart, feeling guilty, I'm sure. But this story revolts me so much that I do not want to pretend it's not serious.

What scares me the most is thinking about what her mother's bitch is going to tell her again, to distract him from me. What sententious and perverse argument she will still find to separate us.

It is clear that she could not stand that my father stings her husband, while I sting her son ... it's unbearable for her. And since she does not really have any means of pressure on her husband, she can only take revenge against me.

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I think of Albus all the time since he left. I imagine him at home, with his big family, his grandparents, his cousins, and I say to myself that he has a good time, no doubt, and that perhaps he does not think of me. And it's the most painful.

We promised to write every day, and I know I will do it, because I will have nothing else to do except to revise.

No way to spend hours with the cursed trio: my mother, my father and his lover. Charming perspective.

I wonder how my father announced this to my mother ... I wonder how it's going to be, this masquerade.

Finally it may be entertaining ... like those boulevard comedies we see on muggle TV.

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My dad tried to have another discussion with me about the holidays a few weeks ago to explain why Harry Potter will be spending his holidays with us. As if I did not know it already.

It was weird.

He began by telling me, without looking me in the eye, that he loved me, and that he loved my mother.

Why does this need to tell me he loves me?

Because he is so insecure that he has to specify it, so that it becomes true? Ditto for my mother, I guess.

My father had never told me that he loved me, and he did it with so little spontaneity that I felt he did not think a word about it. That he was trying to convince himself that he was a good father ...

Not as good as Harry Potter, but on track. I listened to his speech without saying anything. What to reply to a tirade learned by heart? His arguments did not interest me, fundamentally.

What I wanted to know is not why Harry Potter came to our house for the holidays, so Albus Potter did not come to our house.

Why do I cry every night thinking of Christmas?

Why am I afraid that Albus will leave me after the holidays?

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