Until Eternity BxB

chapter 3

chapter 3

I pondered her words as I left the small bookstore. The book was safely tucked away in my bag as my hands were in my pockets. I stopped for a quick hot chocolate on my way to the bus station. I sat on one of those really uncomfortable chairs –though what bus station seat is comfortable?- with my bag at my feet, hot chocolate in the middle of my legs and book in my hand as I started to read.

I was lost, I was enthralled, I was deeply attached to the story, the fantastically written tales of love and heartache, of need and want, of desire and despair. I was only a few pages in as I saw my bus pull up. Even though I could afford to miss this one and get the next, there was little reason to. I could read on the bus, or I could continue it at home. My empty cup was placed in the bin as I boarded the crowded bus, I wasn't going to be able to read on this bus journey. The ride home –no matter how cliché it sounds- seemed to take forever, and another forever for the walk home.

I tried to distract myself with thinking about what I was going to have for dinner but unfortunately I'm so well prepared that question was answered within about 3.9 seconds. I was having vegetable curry with rice tonight. I try my very best to be as vegan as I can, I try to avoid meat and I try to use products which contain no animal products or animal testing. This is something else which has changed over the years; people are becoming a lot more environmentally and animal conscious. Years ago there were sports promoting the killings of fine creatures whereas now it is –mostly- illegal, sometimes meat was all that was on offer at meals, they had very imaginable views of how meat could be eaten.

Before I knew it I was clean, fed and lying in bed. I'm going to try and ignore the fact that I totally rhymed there. I had the book in my hands, excited to read more of it. I wasn't at uni tomorrow so I could afford to have a late night. So far this book has be tied around it's spine. I'm a sucker for romance...and action ...and crime...and mystery....and fantasy.

I love books. I'm drawn in by the characters and the plot. Though I've not read much, I enjoy the unexpected and unpredictable aura which surrounds the book. I've only read the first chapter so far. I feel like I have a good sense of the characters, it's as though I'm in their heads and reading their every thought.

'The train of thought is a funny one, it stops at many stations yet does not have a set track to get there, it usually gets there in the end. The breeze brushed my hair in front of my face as I stared longingly at the white snow which was falling to the ground, how I longed to play in it, to make an angel and to smile at the coldness. I longed to be that child again without the responsibilities of a job, of a child, of needing to find love. I wished to go back to the simpler times where I didn't need to care for anything, where I was looked after. Each of us has a longing for something in our lives. Not even the man whom has most could say that they do not want more. For it is those who do not want nor need more are truly the happiest. Those who think not of what they want but of what they have are those who seek true happiness in their life. I was not one of those happy people, I have a child whom I care for very deeply, I have a job which is used to pay our expenses and I have a safe house with plenty of food and drink. What I long for is a home. Not a house, I long for someone who I can put trust in as they can put their trust and faith in me.'

The next morning was quite uneventful. If I have a common fault it would be commitment, I've never experienced total commitment. Either it's the people around me not being able to commit or is it myself being unable to commit. Usually it's a commitment to books. Unfortunately this means that I am unable to fully commit to one book. I didn't have a chance to read the book today. I was busy, cleaning. I've briefly described my home before. Well the size of it. It's a two story house with an attic and a basement, which I'd not usually enter unless I can help it, but they are quite large. On the bottom floor there are; a kitchen, a dining room, a living room, a spare room and a conservatory. On the second floor there are three bedrooms, two bathrooms, two spare rooms –which just so happened to have a bed- and a library which usually doubles as my study. It is rather grand yet it is not uncommon nor would it be surprising if you were to know my history. In fact if you knew my history you'd probably expect more than this. I've gotten quite speedy at cleaning this house. It used to take me about two to three days and now it takes about seven or eight hours. I've planned my cleaning routine down to the finest swish of the duster.

I plopped down with a huff on my settee –couch, whatever- I was pretty tired after all that. I'm pretty sure that could be used as my exercise for today...or this week. I grabbed the remote and flipped through the different channels on my television...children's cartoons? Sure. I'd rather watch that than a sappy drama. I do love televisions, movies and such. Although I prefer those with cliff-hangers, unpopular opinion alert! I just enjoy being able to make up worlds, it makes the world much more interesting if you ask me! There isn't many shows which people of a teen age and I share an interest in, nothing that I haven't already seen at least, or of course the inevitable predictable shows which anyone would be able to know the plot of. I've considered doing something like that, something creative and permanent which could be used to entertain the world of humanity that I associate myself with. I have written quite a few novels and scripts in my time, oh my goodness I sound so posh and big-headed. It's a bit of a habit I've developed over the years as my tolerance for improper grammar, trends, sayings and society slowly started to evaporate.

 I must've fallen asleep on the settee-couch, whatever- as I woke up in a daze as the sun streamed through my curtains, I was asleep for quite some time, which was quite unusual for me. I wasn't in any hurry to get dressed and prepared for the day, I woke up at quite the practical time, I needed time to think about my movements, my strategy. I don't know if I'm ready for today if I'm honest, I'm sure all those whom are attracted to a person have this feeling, a feeling of dread and excitement mixed with a bit of anxiety. It's not the best of feelings at the time you have it, you just hope it goes away and perhaps you'll laugh at yourself later. Though I fear I will be doing no laughing.

I decided to at least make an effort today, Just because Maddox has issues seeing doesn't mean that it won't help me if I know that I look at least somewhat presentable. I felt as though my nerves were showing , just the slightest. With a little tremor in my step and the fiddling of my keys As I sat down in my seat next to maddox. He had his laptop out infront of him, he didn't seem to happy today, he looked a bit tired ,he was using one hand to type, something which usually requires two hands. I had forgotten the fact that we were doing phonemes again until i saw maddox deflate a little whilst looking at his laptop screen, which held the powerpoint for todays lesson. Phonetic symbols are like letters, but they're not. the closest thing i could compare them to would be greek letters. resembling letters but aren't the same as english letters.I didn't want to come along as rude so i said "Hello Maddox right?" I thought it would be creepy if he knew i remembered his name so i decided to ask instead . he gave a little jolt at being addressed directly "umm...yeah, sorry but what's your name? i don't know if you were in the group chat?" oh yes the class had a class group chat, something i decided not to partake in, i might like tvs and such but i'm not too good with technology. "my name's chester Allerton and don't worry i'm not in the group chat." he gave a nervous smile , which made my heart melt "oh that's cool! i'm not in it anymore...I accidently sent an emoji and i was too embarassed...so i left." that made me chuckle. How precious can someone be? "awe bless you, we all make digital mistakes at some point." which caused him to nod.