Until Eternity BxB

chapter 4

chapter 4

well that was painful, i mean well...it was boring as usual and a topic i wasn't fond of, it has me dreading exams as much as the next person. I spent quite a bit of the class pointing to things on maddox's screen so that he knew what was being talked about, it lead to a small smile or nod in my direction every time . it made my heart flutter a tad bit as not many people now-a-days would accept that and smile about it. most would probably get annoyed at me for touching their laptop and talking to them when it was classtime. It wasn't the easiest looking at the screen ever as it was enlarged by 4 . It gave me a bit of a headache but it was nothing i couldn't handle . apparently maddox gets that a lot, as he told me when we were going from classroom to classroom. He was supposed to have a support worker to help him through classes but apparently the company messed up and hadn't put him on the emergancy list, he had someone booked for him but they were sick so they couldn't make it. "it's a good thing i'm here then." I said jokally so i was surprised when i heard "yeah it is! not many people chose to well...talk to me, i mean i know i'm new but it's not too different to high school" oh boy, i wouldn't know. I just took the exams i needed to take. it made me sad to think that no one talked to him, not just cause i'm "head over heels and madly in love and everyone should love him because he's the best person in the wold and i'm so sympathetic cause he's my soulmate." but just because he seems like a pretty talkative and upbeat person who likes to socalise. Even I noticed that people attempt to avoid the front row at all costs, whehter or not they go to the back or second row, I just sit wherever's empty. which often puts me in the front either way. "awe, that's a shame! I'll try to sit next to you in classes then, when i can...if you want?" i stuttered a bit awkwardly, which didn't give me the greatest feeling in the world.

after the lecture was the seminar, which i decided to sit next to maddox in again. For those of you who don't know lectures are when you get talked to and seminars are when you talk to other people...well you are supposed to. I don't usually talk to people mainly because most people have their own friend groups so i just work alone, that doesn't bother me in the slightes. I'd rather not get attached. again we were doign phomemes but it was mroe of a social task, so everyone in the room was either talking or working. so me and moddox just talked through the work that we were given, we didn't really go onto other subjects, just complaining about how phonetics is weird, hard to learn and hard to describe. After the uni day was over i offered to take maddoto well a small car park that is around the university. it's reserved and drop off only but this is where he gets the taxi, as he kinda lives far away -I don't knwo where he lives! i'm not a creep!- he denied a few times but i convinced him that it wouldn't be a problem for me as it's on the way to the bus stop, it wasn't a lie it was ont he way to a bus stop, just not mine. I stood a bit far away from him whilst he called the taxi. "hey umm, if you dont' mind could you add me on facebook? it's kinda hwo i talk...to everyone." asked maddox , playing with his cane on the floor as we waited. "umm, I don't have facebook" this cassed a small frown to come across his face "but i can get it if you want? or just facebook messenger? I know you don't need an account to get that???" he still looked unsure but nodded anyway as we heard a little ding from his phone. "umm you don't need to do that for me , but i'd kinda appriciate it. anyway that's my taxi. thanks for walking me here, see you next week!" we walked out the little shelter thing and he walked down the stairs as i stood at the top. "yeah see you next week...cant' wait." I waved at him and he waved at me through the window. I don't know if he could see me or if he was just waving but it made me smile either way.

"I held the child in my arms as love radiated through us both, the father wasn't here but he wasn't necessary at the moment. emotion leaked from my eyes as i held god's gift. there was chaos around me but it was all background noise to me, the only important sounds were of their cries and their heartbeat. I felt bad for the child, i don't know if i could provide a house, plenty of food and plenty of drink , experiences that all children should have. but i knew we'd get through life with nothing more then a few scratches. because I knew i could provide them with one thing. My love"

When i got home that evening I decided to discard my schedule and went straight to my computer. I decided a while ago i should get a computer, as most things are done online now I now i've had a lot of mixed emotions and opinions regarding modern people and modern living. but i'm used to change, I just kinda go with it.i like to keep up to date and keep things as interesting as i can but simple at the same time.I created a facebook page, there wasn't any photos of me online or anything like that, it was just a simple page with my name on, some fake infomation about my birthday and school life and some pretty landscapes as cover and profile pictures.I sent a request to maddox which was almost immediatly accepted. We didnt' talk after that but i did venture into his facebook profile like the nosey person i am. I found out that he had a half sister, who is moved out as she's about twenty years older than him and he lives with his mother and father, there was a photo of them uploaded from that saturday so i just assumed that was the case. he seemed to have a large family due to the mass amount of family photos on his page, containing at least fifteen children at a time. After scrolling through this i noticed it was getting late. it wasn't until i looked at the clock on the wall did i notice i had been online for a good three hours. i quickly turned my computer off. feeling more like a stalker then i ever thought i would feel. I had somethign quick to eat and since i dont' have university tomorrow, i sat down infront of the television with a blanket and got comfy.

my ilfe isnt' bad, not in the slightest, but i feel like i'm in a coma and i'm just dying to wake up from it. i'm mentally exhaused. but hope is brewing