My Best Friend

Killed Me Inside

"Finn Hudson is officially dead for me." I said. Sam just told us about all that happened in the lockers room yesterday. Finn letting Noah punch his face many times. I can't believe that him and his friends are behind all of it.

"Totally, I can't believe he said that." Quinn said.

"Oh I can, hell I can. Aquele chico es un hijo de puta!" Santana said pissed, every time she gets pissed she go all Lima Heights on everyone and starts talking Spanish. (That dude is a son of a bitch.)

"But can I be honest? I bet that in December Puck will comeback saying about how many cool things he learned there." Sam said and we all burst out laughing.

"That's sound a lot like something that Puck would do." Quinn said laughing and the bell ring and we went to our respective classes. When I was going to mine, someone pull me into the janitors closet. What the hell?!

"Hey relax, it's me." I heard the person that at this moment, I hate the most, he puts his hand on my shoulder and I look at him mad.

"Don't you relax me! Don't even touch me!" I said taking his hand off my shoulder and he looks really upset with something. Oh for God sakes! My brother is the one that is the juvie, he doesn't have anything to be upset for!

"I'm sorry." He said and that only pissed me even harder.

"No, you're not. I can't even count how many times you said that you were sorry about something that you did. But I can count how many times you actually meant it and let's count...OH WELL ZERO!" I yelled at him.

"I screwed up big time, didn't I?" He asked and I'm so mad at him right now. Gosh I hate love! I hate the fact that I'm so pissed with him right now about what he did but at the same time I wanna hug him because he is with the face all beaten up.

"Ya think?!" I shouted and he rub his face frustrated with himself and he gave a little jump when he did it cause I think he forgot about how many bruises he has in the face. "Ouch."

"You kind of deserve it." I said and he let out a chuckle.

"Oh believe me, I know that. I truly know that. In fact, if you wanna slap me, go ahead." He said closing his eyes waiting the pain for come but I didn't slapped him. "I'm ready."

"I won't slap you, your dumbass." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"Cause a slap only hurts for a few instances. Words, hurts for lot longer." I told him and he sit on the floor with his head on hands and I sit next to him.

"What you're doing all of this? We all were best friends, Finn. When did that happened, why you became this?" I asked him.

"I'm ashamed of myself. I wish I were more like you guys, but I'm not. You all are way better than me. You guys don't fear of being yourselves. But me? I'm constantly looking for people approval. I feel that everyone needs to like me. That I have to do what they say for them to like me. Believe, I would never let anyone do that on the wall of school and blame Puck if I knew that he would end up in juvie. I should never let Karofsky do that. But like I've said, I'm always trying to make everyone like me. But the only person in the world that I wanted to like me, it doesn't." He said, I was confused with the last part but I just shrugged, doesn't Hannah already like him?

"You have to understand one thing, Finn. Say that you sorry will never erase what you did. Won't erase the fact that you helped in sending my brother to juvie, that you slushed Quinn. Her hair is still blue at some parts. You actually should try to show that you're sorry. Cause I don't trust you anymore, hell, is killing me inside to be talking with you right now cause I'm so pissed with you but besides that, I'm so upset. Hurt. Cause I can't believe that one day you were my best friend and in the next day you pass next to me in school and pretend you don't even know me." I honestly told him and when I look to him he has tears filling his eyes.

"I know all I did. I knew that I never wanted to do any of that. But don't you think that killed me inside doing it? Killed me inside seeing pictures of you guys on Instagram or videos of you guys laughing in the park. Cause that just showed me what I was missing. But like I've said, I'm constantly looking for the others approvals. So when the jocks or even Hannah are around I don't know what happens to my mind." He said and wipe his tears. Every time he says the name Hannah still feels like a punch in the face.

"If killed you inside, how do you think that we felt? You from night to day scratched us from your life and got yourself a girlfriend and other friends and just remembered our existence to mess up with us. And that Finn, really hurts." I said and stand up and left the janitors closet leaving him there thinking.