I was born to love you; froger

'i love art.'

It was a Saturday night, my last night to stay up late, until school starts. It also had been a day since I saw Mr Mercury at the store. I had already jacked off to him five times. And that was all in one night.. Disgusting, I know. Can you blame me? Its not my fault I get a boner every fucking time I think about him. My bedroom door opened wide, making me jump slightly.

"Roger, what are you up too?" My mother questions, she always tries to be involved with me. She's scared of being one of those mums that know nothing about their children.

I did a small shrug before answering, "Drawing.". I want to be alone. I always do. 

"Hm, what are you drawing?" I look down at my sketch pad. It was originally supposed to be Nikki Sixx, but that escalated. Now my portrait was a man with vicious black hair, crying and scribbles around his head. His neck covered in cuts that dripped with blood. I don't know how that happened, I lost my train of thought...

"'Dunno." She nods a little and I don't bother to look up from my book.

"You love music. Why don't you write a song? You're always drawing, that wont get you any where." She puts softly, I don't even bother to reply. Instead I continue making new strands of hair on the paper before going out of control with my pen. My pencil presses hard on the paper, close to ripping it, as I freak out on the paper. More and more dark, harsh scribbles appear on the paper. I finally realise this isn't helping my anger, so I throw my pencil at the wall. 

"Its obvious I don't 'wanna talk! Can you not see that!" I yell, the doors urging to shake. Once my quick rage finished, I felt a rush of guilt spread through my body. My mum nodded silently and headed towards the door. I couldn't really find the words to explain I was sorry so instead, I didn't say anything.

I know right. I'm such a horrible kid. Yelling at their mother like that. They dont really know anything about me, like my hobbies or interests. And I think I like it that way...

-

Monday

"Hi sir." I mumble to Mr Mercury, entering the dead class room. He nods before looking up at me and recognising who I am.

"Oh Roger. Um- I just wanted to say sorry again about what happened at the store." I rolled my eyes at his apology.

"It's not a big deal, don't make it one." I huffed before continuing to walk to my seat. I plonked down, waiting for a curious and happy looking Brian to take the chair next to me.

I flipped open my book and impatiently started doodling.

Was I depressed?
Was I goth, emo?
Gay?

Who am I kidding, of course I was gay.

"Rog!" I rolled my eyes at the nickname, glancing up for a couple seconds to see Brian rushing to the seat next to me. As if anyone was gonna take it. He impatiently slid out his chair from under the desk, sat down and flipped his note book open. "What's the topic today sir?" Uh, such a teacher's pet.

"Gravity's Rainbow's author. We're starting the book today as well." He hummed, softly. I watched him flick his tongue across the tip of his fingers and violently flip the page of his diary. Everything he did was so fucking hot! Why was my dick even pulsing when all he-

"Rog?" My head snapped in Brian's direction. I stared into his eyes waiting for him to say something, instead he kept stumbling over his words, confusing the both of us. That was until I broke the senseless stuttering.

"What Bri?"

"D-Did you maybe wanna come over to mine this afternoon?" I furrowed my eyebrows, why was that such a hard thing to say? My eyes pierced into his, suspiciously.

"Sure." The tone in my voice making me think more and more of why he looked so anxious. He nodded with a smile on his face and started writing down the heading for today's class.

"What did you do on the weekend?" What a lame question.

I shrugged and wrote down the date of today's lesson. My eyes shifted to the window that was beside me. A couple of trees flowed with the cool breeze of London. I let my mind release and let go- what was it even attached to?

-

I happily skipped out of class, ready to go home- that was until I felt a rough tug on my arm. I was ready to give the person a dirty glare before I turned around and saw Bri. He held a huge smile on his face, his teeth showing and all. I couldn't help but roll my eyes, jesus.

"Hey! Its better if we go the other way." He gestured to the left side of the hall. "Its quicker that way." He smiled. 

What? I was so confused.

"Roger? We're going to my place remember?" Oh for fucks sakes. I put a fake smile on and walked with him. God knows what we're going to do. What did he even want to do? He was kind of a nerd, I noticed, not that that's a bad thing. I just hope we weren't going to study, school stays at school, you don't bring it home- well unless you have homework I guess. Your ass is whooped.

"Oh that was quick." I nodded, his house stood in front of me, giving me a long stare.

"I know right! I'm only around the corner, so I don't have to walk long." He chirped and I smiled back, genuinely, for once. He turned the door knob, eagerly and took his jacket off and put it on the stand that stood at the front door, I followed. "There ya go!" He almost shouted, his arms up in the air, spread. I chuckled a bit at his silliness. "Oh and my mums not home." 

"Nice." He took my hand- he fucking held my hand and I saw the little smile he gave. He waltzed to the kitchen, his shoulders slightly hunched over. I took a seat on one of the kitchen stools and looked around, taking notice of the artwork hung on the walls.

"Do your parents love art?" I asked, turning my head back to him as he took two cups out of the cupboard.

"Oh, my mum likes to paint." His smile never left his face. "Yeah, it distracts her. She says its the most beautiful way to free her mind." He chuckled, as he gently poured us an icy cold glass of water. I nodded along.

"I love art." I suddenly spoke. He looked up at me, his eyes locking with mine. His eyes were dark yet light hearted and it made me intrigued. 

"You're art." He mumbled, I could understand him clearly however. I cringed a bit. His face was close to mine, unlike before. He stood directly in front of me and I swear I could feel his breath on my face. He slowly slipped his hand up my thigh and I finally realised what was happening. He gently placed his lips against mine and moved them so much I didn't even have to move my own. My eyes fluttered shut and my hand randomly found his face. I caressed his cheek gently while we kissed, the house, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Just when my mind drifted off into his divine, soft tasting lips, he moaned, knocking me back into reality.

"Bri..." I softly pulled away, so he wouldn't get offended. But I don't think that worked as his eyes were no longer filled with lust, instead sorrow.

"Sorry." He spoke only just above a whisper.

"Its okay." I smiled in the most comforting matter possible, my hand finding his cheek again and rubbing his baby soft skin. "Its okay." I repeated, I slipped off the stool and headed to the front door as calmly as I could. I no longer had an annoyed, grunge attitude. Instead I felt calm. Weird huh?

"Rog." His voice intruded. I turned on my heel and looked at him, waiting. "I'm sorry, can you stay?" 

"My mum doesn't even know I'm here and knowing her she's probably worried. I'll see ya tomorrow, Bri." I shut the door behind me, adjusting my jacket and walking off into the cold air.