Prologue

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I'm not afraid of death.

  As a teenager, it might seem pretentious to say so; the fearlessness could very well be a result of not thinking it through. Everybody is afraid of death, eventually.

  But truly, I don't think I will ever be. My death, at least. The darkness, the finality, never scared me. My grandparents died. My pet dog died. The kid in the ward beside mine died. And the kid who stayed in his ward before him, too.

  They've done it. If I died, I'll be in the same place with them, which could very well be nowhere at all. Into nothingness. Gone.

  But I'm still here. Floating between two vast, wine dark seas. I'm not dead, but not quite alive, either. I am already in nothingness. I'm already gone. I couldn't even see the stars here.

  I'm not afraid to die, but it seems to be the very thing I cannot do.


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