Childhood

12

CHERYL POV:

"Cheryl where were you?" Sarah ask. "I was in the hospital." I whisper quietly. "Why?" Her eyes widen. "Because I had a baby." I move hair out of her face. "Where is the baby?" She ask quietly. "They're with Betty and Veronica." I tell her. "Why?" I take a deep breath. "Because we can't take care of them." I whisper. "What happened?" She ask concerned. "Are they ok?" She ask frustrated. "Yes. Of course." I tell her quietly. "Go to bed. Don't worry about this." I kiss her cheek. She slowly goes to sleep. I get up and go back to my room. "What's wrong?" Toni ask quietly. "I don't know." I lie on the bed. She pulls me closer. "How are you feeling about everything?" I look up at Toni. "I don't want to think about it." She nods. "Than why did you do it? Honestly." I shrug. "Because I don't want to bring more kids into our crazy lives, we also just can't afford more kids." I whisper. I pull Toni into a kiss. "How do you feel?" I ask quietly. "I'm happy if you're happy." She tells me. "Are you sure?" I ask. She nods. "No, but you're the most important thing to me." I look away. "I love you and if you're ok with doing that than I am. I have no opinion on this. Because I know we can see them when ever." She tells me.

TONI POV:

I walk over to the kids playroom, hoping they wouldn't see me. I look over and Jason is doing his thing, Sarah's doing her thing. "Why do you rock back and forth?" I keep forgetting they still barely know each other. Jason's a quiet kid and Sarah gave up on asking him a million questions. "Because I like how it feels." He whispers. "What about that thing with your hands?" She ask probably pushing it. "You do that thing when you're happy." I want to bud in but Jason speaks for himself. "Why do you cry when the doorbell rings?!" He says frustrated. "Guys!" They both look at me. "Sarah has been through stuff. We have talked about this! Jason ha-." I stop myself. "What?" Sarah looks at me. I look down. "Jason does that because it's how he expresses his feelings and feel more comfortable." I say quietly. "I'm confused?" Jason gets up and walks over to me. "We'll explain when you're older." I whisper to him. "Ok." He smiles. "Go back to what you're doing, don't fight." I say walking into my office and get some work done. "Toni." Cheryl knocks on the door. "Hey baby. What's up?" I turn to her. She sits down on the couch. "I feel bad." She whispers. My heart drops. "I feel like I've made the worst mistake of my life but I know I couldn't not do it." She looks down. "Cheryl, maybe you should talk to someone about this, because obviously you're not coping with it at all." I move closer to her. She nods. "I'll call my therapist." She gets up. I take a deep breath. I never wanted to make that decision, it wasn't my final say. I wanted to keep the kids, but after Sarah and the trouble we had with having Jason. I don't Cheryl could go through having another kid. I don't think either of us could though. I take another deep breath and go back to my work.

"Cheryl is heart broken over to decision. I feel bad because I can't do anything about it." I whisper panicking slightly. I look up at my therapist. Yes I've started to see one we all need it! "Do you know how hard it is to watch the love of your life make the hardest decision of her life?" I hold back tears. "Why didn't you stop her?" The therapist ask quietly. "After the problems we had with Jason and what it took to have him. Neither of us could go through it again." I answer honestly. "What about your daughter? You didn't have trouble with her." I sit back. "It's different, and I don't mean that because she's adopted I mean that because she's... adopted. Oh. It's different because it wasn't like Cheryl had to go through the worry about another miscarriage with her." I whisper. "Sarah and Jason had their first fight yesterday!" I change the subject. "Haven't they known each other for almost a year now?" I nod and smile. "Yeah, but Jason is very introverted and doesn't like to talk to Sarah he's usually off doing his own thing. Sarah is the most curious person I've ever met and I think Jason had enough with the million questions." I whisper. "Well I'm not trying to cut you off but our time is up." I look at the tome and we both get up. "I'll- I'll see you next week." I say awkwardly. I go and go home. I walk into the house slowly. "Mom?" Sarah whispers from the top of the steps. "I can't sleep." She comes down slowly. "Where's Cheryl?" I ask quietly. "Asleep with Jason. I just woke up." I nod. "Come on do you want to go for a walk?" I ask quietly. She nods. "Get your shoes." I whisper. "I'll be back in a second." I go upstairs and to Jason's room. "Cher." I whisper she jolts awake. "I'm gonna take Sarah for a walk she can't sleep. We should talk when I get back." She nods. "Everything ok?" She ask rubbing her eyes. I shake my head. "Not really." She nods and goes back to sleep. I turn off the light and close the door. I walk downstairs to Sarah. "Ready?" I ask trying to sound excited. She nods. I pick her up and we walk outside. "Where were you?" Sarah ask quietly. "I had to go do something." I say quietly. "What?" She ask quietly. "Well, first I had a support group for past trauma, than I went to therapy to talk about more private things." I say quietly. "Like me and mom?" I look at her. "What?" I ask in disbelief. "Like me and mom." I nod and smile. "Yeah, like you and mom."

"I thought you said that everything wasn't ok. Why are you so smiley?" Cheryl ask closing the door to Jason's room. "Sarah called you mom." I say happily. "Wait what?"